Leftfield ideas needed to help stop dd pooing in her knickers ...

(42 Posts)
TiredyCustards Fri 19-Apr-13 08:29:06

DD is 2.8, we've been potty training for 3.5months now.

Wees are fine, but we're getting nowhere with poos.

DD knows when she needs a poo, as she waits until I'm out of the room to do one in her knickers. Sometimes she'll even hold a wee and just do the poo iyswim.

Bribery isn't working, I think because she manages a poo on the loo so rarely (twice since we started, two consecutive days).

I've started getting angry with dd about it, which I need to stop, so I'm going to try different ideas for a week each to see if anything helps.

Here are my ideas - please add yours, I need some inspiration!

- Reading 'Liam Goes Poo on the Toilet' as much as possible
- Giving her a prune and some neat orange juice and watching her closely for the next hour
- throwing pooey knickers in the bin
- leaving her alone to play with a bare bottom and a potty nearby

Thansk in advance!

Gingerodgers Fri 19-Apr-13 08:33:24

Bugger, I went thru this with my daughter, think I missed the window of opportunity. No real advise just perseverance, sorry, not what you wanted to hear, but it was just really hard, for a long time. I did learn from that tho, the second my son showed any interest in the toilet, it was the end of nappies. I think he wet his pants once, and the bed once, and that was it. Good luck.

TiredyCustards Fri 19-Apr-13 08:38:09

Thanks Ginger how long did your dd take to get it?

I do feel like I should have waited for her cue to PT, but being my first I don't know if it would have occurred to her.

I'll definitely be waiting until DS prompts me, how old was yours?

I went through this too, nightmare. I don't have any advice except that I always threw the pants away, but didn't make a big deal out of it, mostly threw them out of personal laziness tbh!

Also if she did it when we were out, I was really kind but we had to go home. Sort of "oh dear dd, I'm so sorry that happened, now we have to go home" we had a star chart with three different prizes for each potty poo and a big prize after the third but it didn't work. One day she just got it though. Can't say what triggered a it but one day she wouldn't, the next day she did and hasn't had an accident since.

I think it is REALLY common, when you are in the middle if it, it's a nightmare but once they figure it out, you look back and think " that was an inconvenient month..." And just move one.

Good luck, try not to get cross, I know I did a few times and felt bad about it though, you just can't help it sometimes.

TiredyCustards Fri 19-Apr-13 21:26:06

Thanks southwest I guess I'll just have to tough it out sad

bunnysmummy Fri 19-Apr-13 22:15:06

my OH managed it with cash. He put a jam jar on the back of the toilet with coins in, and gave her a couple for her piggy back when she did her poo in the loo.

You could try stickers on a chart.

Or have you tried getting some knickers of her choice with Peppa Pig or similar, she might not want to poo on Peppa.

Try not to get cross as they get off on the drama.

AmandaPayneAteTooMuchChocolate Fri 19-Apr-13 22:17:28

Just a random one. Do you hover over her when she is on the loo? Do you make her use a potty, or a normal toilet? DD1 only did this for a couple of weeks, but both those things helped. I've heard people talk about letting their child watch a favourite cartoon on the iPad (or something else portable!) if they sit there for a bit.

EugenesAxe Fri 19-Apr-13 22:24:31

I made up a funny song about pooing on the loo being good. It was to the tune (and used some of the words) of three little monkeys; I posted once about it before. I could probably remember the words if you wanted but sometimes jokes and songs that you just stumble over seem better and more natural than something someone has given you. I find when I make up spontaneous rhymes to known tunes that are pertinent to my children they really engage with them and want to hear them again.

Basically anything that makes something funny and takes away the angst is a good idea. I think bunnys suggestion is good; with us it was 'Thomas doesn't really like being pooed on.' My SIL had reasonable success giving DN 'nice' knickers and then if there was any soiling during the day DN went into plain white ones, that weren't special.

TiredyCustards Sat 20-Apr-13 18:47:55

Thank you Eugene, Amanda and Bunny, some great ideas flowers

frecklemum Sat 20-Apr-13 18:58:13

This might sound completely daft- but it honestly worked with dd1- who would also poo in her knickers. My sister gave her a magic wand (a fairy type wand)- only to be used for going for a poo on the potty.
She would sit on the potty and hold onto the wand and the poo would appear.
Think the trick was to get her to sit on the potty for longer than she would with a wee- but it really did work smile
**Disclaimer- we were at real desperation point by this time so willing to try anything as she had already been wee potty trained for about 3/4 months

RandomMess Sat 20-Apr-13 19:01:31

She may prefer doing a poo standing up, tell her she can ask for a nappy to wear to do a poo in?

JuliaScurr Sat 20-Apr-13 19:11:31

yes Random or kneeling on a rocking horse leaning on a sofa wearing a nappy specially put on for the occasion
I'd leave it a while
dd did the wee thing fine
but the poo thing
oh the poo thing
it took a while
a long while

seeker Sat 20-Apr-13 19:17:20

My ds would only poo in a nappy for ages after he was pee trained. He said later that he hated the feeling of the poo coming out- it scared him. I just waited til he was ready- you have to hold your nerve and really believe it will happen one day! It always does, honestly.

peacefuleasyfeeling Sat 20-Apr-13 19:19:37

DD did this for a short while and I read on here about a therapeutic publication called "Poo goes home to Poo Land" or similar, which is available online as a pdf download. No shit (pardon the pun), we read this twice and it never happened again.
Good luck!

AmandaPayneAteTooMuchChocolate Sat 20-Apr-13 19:19:43

I'd be nervous of the 'put on a nappy to poo' thing, as I've known people get very stuck at that point, for literally years. For me, personally, it would be a last resort.

I realise my last post wasn't that clear, but I honestly think pottys are a big hurdle to many children. It turned out DD1 couldn't bear the idea of the poo just sort of sitting there. She's always seen poo go down the toilet (we use reuseable nappies) and she was far more open to the idea of it going straight there. And being 'out of the way' immediately.

I also think we can be way to over eager and put pressure on kids. Honestly, no matter how much I needed one, if someone huge stood over me saying 'do you need a poo? are you doing one? is it coming?' I am fairly sure I couldn't! Definitely for DD1 it was mostly environmental. It sounds like maybe your DD could be a bit the same. She's waiting for a private moment to do her poo - DD used to hide in bushes and behind curtains to poo in her pants. Once I'd twigged a lot was privacy and not potty it got a lot better!

FarelyKnuts Sat 20-Apr-13 19:21:15

We had a poo song and dance and poo prizes grin

My DD seemed to be genuinely terrified of letting go of the poo into the toilet so we read Poo goes to pooland together a few times and then had a treat bag full of random tat stickers, small poundshop toys, choc lollipops etc and she got to pick a magic prize if she did a poo in the potty.
When she didn't we would say "oh dear, nothing from the magic bag, try again next time" and pay no more attention to it.
It took her very little time to catch on after that and we kept the magic bag going for about a fortnight to reinforce the message and the dance about a month I think grin

tumbletumble Sat 20-Apr-13 19:26:01

A tip I've heard is to give her a tub of bubble mixture and get her to blow bubbles while sitting on the loo. The action of blowing bubbles sort of forces her to push at the bottom end too. (Try it yourself and you'll see what I mean!)

unlucky83 Sat 20-Apr-13 19:31:53

I think special pants - but be careful what you say!
I had opposite problem with DD1 - would poo on potty but wee in pants..(she thought it was funny - my fault - cos once she went out side and stood on patio with her legs open and weed...I was so so shock that I laughed ..big mistake!)
Got her special pants and told her if she weed in them all of them would go in the bin...she was very good for a day or so and then had a real accident. Damn -what to do? - I did put them in 'the bin' (got them out later) and told her if she didn't wet her pants for the next two days I'd get her more and give her another chance because I knew she had be trying very hard ...still not an ideal situation to be in ...

houmousandcarrotsandwich Sat 20-Apr-13 20:56:15

Would love to see/hear some of these poo songs and dances!
Not to assist poos, just for my own amusement!

FarelyKnuts Sat 20-Apr-13 21:43:02

houmous ours went something like "poo poo in the po teee" (wriggle your bum and wave your arms) and repeat in a kind of conga dance formation around the hallway grin

WipsGlitter Sat 20-Apr-13 21:47:53

We had LOTS of problems. Still not really resolved three years later...

intheshed Sat 20-Apr-13 21:51:07

Went through this with DD1- the only thing that worked was serious bribery and loads of praise.

Earthworms Sat 20-Apr-13 21:51:24

Dd did this too.

I think it was a privacy thing, her finest moment was creeping into a cupboard and crapping.

We tried bribes, treats, ignoring it,pooing on the toilet, on the potty, watching us on the loo, fancybpants, everything.

It just sorted itself out in time.

As a poster earlier said, nightmare when it's happening, but you look back on it as just a bit of an inconvenient phase.

MummyJetsetter Sat 20-Apr-13 21:53:05

My ds did this and it was after 2 weeks of being dry and pooing in his pants I told him that such and such poos on the toilet and basically listed his cousins and slightly older friends, he then asked if I did and I said yes and so does daddy and honestly that did the job. I know it sounds too simple but worth a go. x

Are you sure she's not constipated? DS did not 'get' pooing on the toilet at all, it was a while before we realised he was constipated as he didn't seem it, but once he got treatment, he was fine and is now (a few months later) more reliable with poos than with wees hmm

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