21mo DS behaviour is breaking my heart!

[sleepcrisis]

My DS has never been a very cuddly baby but recently he's been totally unwilling to show or receive affection from me. If I ask for a kiss he pushes me away. He will only give me a hug during a ferocious game of tickling or if he is being chased by another relative he will run into my arms (he loves rough and tumble!)

However, I know he understands the concept of affection as he is forever offering hugs and kisses to his grandparents and always responds to them when they ask for a kiss or a cuddle.

It seems to be just me he is rejecting.

On the other hand, he is going through a bit of a phase of separation anxiety, where he wants to make sure I'm nearby at all times, He says mama? mama? mama? constantly and yet he won't give me a kiss :(

He'll happily snuggle into me for a book or cbeebies though...

Another thing I find really hard to deal with is that he really thinks I am just boring. From the moment he wakes he is asking for one of the grandparents or other as he sees them as the most fun. Yesterday while playing with my dad, I went to join in and he pushed me away and shut the door on me :(

It's really breaking my heart! I watch other toddlers showering their mummies with affection. DS used to give me kisses and cuddles but I do get the feeling he is purposfully witholding them from me and I don't know why!

Has anyone been through anything similar?

thanks in advance

[jellyrolly]

Aw please don't feel rejected, he sounds really normal to me! There's nothing more boring than mum . I expect you are doing everything right and he is rewarding you by taking you for granted.

[niddy]

I feel for you. It's a back-handed compliment to you that he feels safe enough to reject you. He knows you will still be there whatever!
Grandparents bring a very different entertainment I think. It can be a pretty thankless job at times being a mum. You have your snuggles which is great. I find with my DD (who isn't overly affectionate) the more it becomes a game the more you persue. I have found backing off a bit and leaving it more on their terms more helpful as hard as it is. I guess it is you he runs to when he is hurt or upset...hang on to that! You will be number 1 in his life no matter how many kisses he gives you a day!

[bonzo77]

DS was like that at this age. Now aged 3 he is all Over me for kisses and cuddles, asks me to hold my hands out to catch the kisses he blows, keeps telling me that I'm lovely, he loves me, I'm a good driver . Things will change, they always do. I liked to think that the "rejection" was actually his supreme confidence that I would never leave him, and him taking me for granted (in a good way), and his obsession with everyone else was due to their novelty value.

[er1507]

My dd is 20mo and CONSTANTLY asks for my mum. As soon as she wakes up its "nan" "nannan" "naaaaaaanny" she just loves and adores her! She has only the last month willingly given me kisses before he would turn away. Don't feel rejected because its not that your boring or he doesn't want to show you any affection it's just that the attention from a grandparent is incredibly different to that of a parent. They're just more fun somehow. We went to my mums tonight for tea and when I told my dd that she needed her nappy changing to go home she just shouted no at me several times while clinging to my mums neck and waving and saying bye to me!! My dd does have someone else that she adores more so than myself or my mum...my mums dog, otto, she talks and asks for him a lot more than anyone and when she sees him it's hard to get her away from and always wants to hug and kiss him

[sleepcrisis]

Thanks all for the reassurance. I really hope he does feel secure, but the thing is I'm not convinced he does - why is he whining mama mama mama all day everyday to check I'm still there?! He does it in his sleep, he does it non stop. Sometimes I think e just says it over and over again because he just doesn't want to stop talking!

Good to hear others have been like this too. Am waitin for the day he grows out of it and chooses me over nana or grandpa or granny...

[MajaBiene]

My DS is the same! Recently he has started rejecting his most beloved Grandma in favour of Grandpa too