Started toilet training with DS last month (2.2) and within 3 days he was telling us when he needed a wee and has had consistently dry pants. Managed 1 poo on the potty and 1 on the toilet but these were with a day of following him around, reading the signs. He would say "poo poo coming" but would freeze up when on the potty or toilet and after 10 mins or so would say "no poo poo coming/poo poo gone" and invariably he would hold then find a quiet moment later in the day and poop his pants.
I have been trying to judge whether this is happening because he's not ready for complete toilet training or whether we will be delaying sorting out the pooping problem if we pause training.
Sooooo today, I received two pieces of "advice" from MIL and SIL both of whom are visiting this week. "shower him in cold water when he poos in his pants".
I feel so angry that this is even being suggested. I feel like bursting with frustration and of course I am anxious that I have mistimed the training and I am stressing him out.
I've just put him back in nappies this afternoon as I CANNOT bear the idea of them chipping in all weekend and potentially undermining his confidence even further.
Has anyone else paused potty training after a first attempt and found results improved after a break?
thanks x
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Family advice re Potty Training has tipped me over the edge today - have I done the right thing?
GogoGobo · 06/03/2013 19:38
what stupid advice from the rellies! Not surprised you were angry. My ds toilet trained much later, when he was nearly 3, so took to it quickly and we didn't need to have a break from it. But all the advice I've heard is that if you try and they don't seem ready, it's fine to stop it for a bit and try again when they seem more ready. It sounds like he's doing well if he's doing wees in the potty and it's just poos you're having problems with. I can recommend these blue 'peepee balls' that you can buy and chuck down the loo for little boys to "aim at". You can try searching them on google or amazon, I can't remember where I got them from I'm sorry. My ds was highly charmed by them though and loved using the toilet after we introduced those. He never really used a potty, preferred a child's seat on the "big toilet".
I waited until my daughter was 3, and I followed Gina Ford potty training in a week. Now I know its sounds ridiculous to do it in a week but you don't! 
You have around 4 weeks of preparation and she advises to take a week off work or stay indoors and really perservere. 
I followed it to the letter and it worked, I know most people don't like GF's advice but it worked for me. She was dry and clean after a week and she was dry overnight within 3 weeks.
He does seem quite young, so maybe get the book and try again in a few months?
Good Luck!!
It's sounds like you've been doing really well. Poos are often a bit more of a challenge. I can imagine the sensation of pooing in a toilet/potty feels really odd when you're used to a nappy. My DD had a habit of panicking and trying to get up and run off mid-poo! Sorted itself out pretty quick with a bit of bribery. 
Stay calm and supportive. Ignore your relatives. You don't want their advice nor should you allow them to discuss it in front of DS if they can't be calm and positive about it.
I found the book "potty training girls (boys) the easy way" by Simone Cave & Caroline Fertlemann a very stress free way of potty training. They turn the whole thing into a game.
Good luck!
Thank you for the advice. I agree that cold showering a 27 month old IS child abuse. shocking but one of them his a teacher
I think he is young and I am going to leave it for 3 months or so and have a fresh start. I am not anti GF at all and will look up the book!
Was under the impression it's a physiological impossibility to toilet train a child before 18 months. So 'potty aeareness' from 9 months
We had a potty in the bathroom from about 18 months. DD would sometimes sit on it before bath, but mostly use it as a hat!
She potty trained really easy at 22 months as that was when she was ready. I'm really glad we did it then as now she's just turned 3 and she's a stroppy madam, we'd get nowhere fast now!
An ice cold shower is abuse and I'd be scared to allow them to babysit him if that's how they behave! Am pleased your son had a Mum with her head screwed on right though
We introduced potty books, DVD and offered a potty when he was naked before getting into the bath each night, and he often wee'd quite happily so we tried potty training when my son was about 2 1/2, but he just wasn't ready for it (pee'd without really noticing what was happening and didn't seem terribly perturbed by it ). His nursery suggested we don't even try with a boy until he turns 3.
All of a sudden, a couple of months before his 3rd birthday, he began to peel off his soiled nappy and hand it to us as an offering!!! We decided to try potty training again and after 4 days of half potty/half accidents, he became fully dry and has only had 2 minor leaks in the last 2 months.
So trying and aborting, then coming back to it again when a child is more ready seems like a really good idea.
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