Family advice re Potty Training has tipped me over the edge today - have I done the right thing?

(35 Posts)
GogoGobo Wed 06-Mar-13 19:38:06

Started toilet training with DS last month (2.2) and within 3 days he was telling us when he needed a wee and has had consistently dry pants. Managed 1 poo on the potty and 1 on the toilet but these were with a day of following him around, reading the signs. He would say "poo poo coming" but would freeze up when on the potty or toilet and after 10 mins or so would say "no poo poo coming/poo poo gone" and invariably he would hold then find a quiet moment later in the day and poop his pants.

I have been trying to judge whether this is happening because he's not ready for complete toilet training or whether we will be delaying sorting out the pooping problem if we pause training.

Sooooo today, I received two pieces of "advice" from MIL and SIL both of whom are visiting this week. "shower him in cold water when he poos in his pants".

I feel so angry that this is even being suggested. I feel like bursting with frustration and of course I am anxious that I have mistimed the training and I am stressing him out.

I've just put him back in nappies this afternoon as I CANNOT bear the idea of them chipping in all weekend and potentially undermining his confidence even further.

Has anyone else paused potty training after a first attempt and found results improved after a break?
thanks x

Bumpsadaisie Thu 07-Mar-13 20:51:00

I think this is awful!

Just ignore them. Your DS is young to be training and it sounds like he is doing well. Most children I know were more like 2 and three quarters to 3 years old.

I would leave it a bit, the older they are the easier it is anyway.

I tried with my DD when she was about your son's age. It was OK, some wees went in, some didn't etc. But I was heavily pregnant with DS and given that it wasn't instantaneous I just decided to leave it and try again once DS was born. She was 2.5 when he was born, there were two crazy "newborn plus toddler fog" months immediately following his arrival when potty training DD was out of the question, then we started again at 2.7. By her third birthday she was clean and dry day and night and we haven't really had an accident since (barring diarrhoea!). She is 3.9 now.

mummy2benji Thu 07-Mar-13 23:41:59

My ds adored fireman sam around the age we toilet trained, and has a soft toy fireman sam. Ds suffers with constipation for which he is on various meds, and at times we had real problems with him getting bunged up and it hurting him to go. I remember all too well one awful episode with him sitting on the loo for almost an hour pushing and crying and insisting I hug him throughout - my leg went dead! It really helped when I brought his fireman sam into the bathroom with us and made him talk, I got him to tell ds all about when he has "hurty poos" and that he is just very patient and squeezes gently! Sorry way TMI but I just wondered if bringing a favourite soft toy in with him might help encourage him to go? I can also recommend a book called 'Even firefighters need the potty' - it's very American and when they say 'potty' they mean 'toilet', but my ds loved it and clearly some of the characters are doing poops as they are sitting down reading the paper!

lolalotta Fri 08-Mar-13 06:44:30

Pause and then try again later! I waited for my DD to tell me she no longer wanted to wear nappies (2.9) she trained very quickly, in about 3 days, with very few accidents and dry at night too. She was ready and it came very easily with little upset and stress. Good luck!

cacakariel Thu 10-Jul-14 19:20:51

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CuriosityCola Thu 10-Jul-14 19:25:40

Not read all the posts, but to answer your question. We had two 'attempts' at potty training and then back in nappies due to visiting family etc. Then it just clicked and ds was fine within a week.

I never ever punished or even looked annoyed at accidents. I would just say, oops, where is that pee/poo meant to go? Ds would reply toilet!!! Then we would sit on it to see if there was any more (there never was because it was on the floor or in pants wink).

Shocked at the cold shower suggestion. That is so cruel.

CuriosityCola Thu 10-Jul-14 19:26:38

*he!!! We didn't sit on the toilet together grin

upyourninja Thu 10-Jul-14 19:31:38

That advice is bonkers! Go with your instincts.

MIL told me recently that when DH was toilet training all those years ago, he had a lot of accidents with pooing in his pants. One day his dad said "oh no, (DH), not again" in a disappointed tone.

That was enough to make DH refuse to go completely and they had months of withholding, constipation, and leaking to deal with afterwards.

Trust your instincts and don't rush it - it's not worth it!

Incidentally, DD just figured it out by herself at 2.4, had a few accidents here and there but only ever received positive feedback for trying, and now a few weeks later is accident free and dry overnight. So definitely worth waiting until they're ready and willing!

MiaSparrow Thu 10-Jul-14 19:36:01

lolalotta exactly the same here. DD was 2.5, woke up one morning and declared "Mummy, I don't wear nappies anymore". She was dry in three days flat and dry at night in about two weeks. SO glad I waited.

Forester Thu 10-Jul-14 19:38:23

DD was scared of doing poos on the potty so we went with bribery - two chocolate buttons each time she did on a potty - and later it moved to getting the two chocolate buttons for doing a poo in the toilet. I don't think I even got through a packet of buttons.

Forester Thu 10-Jul-14 19:39:26

That should have been "each time she did a poo on a potty..."

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