i appreciate that the terrible twos are meant to be difficult, pushing boundaries etc
Been there and done it with dd who is now 5.
Ds will be 3 in may but is currently more than terrible.
I'm told that he's ok at nursery (3 days a week) but at home he is demanding, contrary, negative, whining and aggressive.
His speech isnt great, wide vocabulary but can not yet clearly annunciate. I know this is frustrating for him.
It's just that being around him is constant hard work and I don't remember dd being quite as negative.
Examples are dictating which parent does what, which dd did and does do, but he takes it to a new level, screaming if the "wrong" one of us goes to him in the night or tries to get him out the car.
He's very troublesome with his sister and her peers, he's learnt that pulling their hair gets a reaction, from them and me.
He was such and easy going, happy little boy and it pains me to see this angst. I know he's being two but I wanted to know what I can do to help, him and us?
He's at his worst at meal times. He doesn't listen to us and is defiant. We've had some terrible meals "out" where he just tries to run off/hit out.
Or tell me that this too shall pass:)
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Behaviour/development
Very "2" 2 year and 9 month old ds
pamelat · 06/03/2013 12:35
Many people won't agree with me, but i have resorted to bribery 
I will often say he can have raisins or an apple/ banana etc if he does x, y or z. Also, getting him to tidy up. "Yes, of course you can get your train out DS, but can you please help mummy tidy up the bricks first." When he refuses, i refuse to get his train out until he helps. Again, it's a bit of a pain at first but if you're consistent they soon learn.
Other tactics include giving him loads of choice, but not necessarily the exact one he wants. So plenty of "DS, you can either walk or sit in the buggy, i am not carrying you." Ok, so he screamed maybe the first couple of times when i strapped him in his buggy but he got the message pretty quickly.
And "lasagne or roast chicken for dinner?" so he feels he's exercised his independence by choosing which one and generally (not always) eats it.
Rather than say to him "DS, let's go for a bath!" to which he'll reply "NO!" and continue what he's doing, i ask him "DS, would you like to have a bath with mummy or daddy?" to which he replies depending on his mood, but usually 'Mummy'.
And finally, i've learned to close my ears to protests, demands and dictats. If i offer him a compromise and he refuses, he needs to learn that life can be tough and he doesn't always get what he wants. DH and I both work full time, so he's learned that DH and I share bathtimes, bedtimes, feeding, night wakings etc. Sometimes he'll protest, but toddlers are notoriously fickle and can always be distracted or bribed...
Really, it's true - choose your battles wisely! And good luck. 
This too will pass 
, but its hard work waiting! DS2 who was 3 in February is just like this, it's all daddy do it, so last night I burst the bubble and took him to get ready for bed resulting in a massive tantrum which went on for a good 30 minutes. DS1 was just the same and I am now hoping that tonight will be a tiny bit easier!
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