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Behaviour/development

when my baby isnt eating shes crying... where am I going wrong?

31 replies

moomoo2013 · 03/03/2013 16:22

I cant seem to make my daughter happy and its seriously starting to eat away at me. As in the title when DD finishes her bottle she remains contented for a mere few minutes and then shes agitated and crying again.
I burp my baby it isnt wind it isnt colic I play with her sing to her talk to her she has an abundon of toys, tummy time doesnt work ... nothing seems to make her happy unless shes asleep or eating. This wouldnt be so bad but she hardly asleep during the days and sleeps mainly during the evening and night.

DD is 7 weeks its really starting to upset me, listening to my baby be agrivated all day kills me and makes me feel inadequate as a mother..

HELP ME??

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OutsideOverThere · 03/03/2013 16:25

I bet you anything it is wind or colic. Hope that isn't the wrong thing to say but it sounds very familiar!
Mine is a little bit older at 8 weeks, and seems much better than he was in the first four weeks or so but still gets very agitated about his digestion.

He does great burps too but still, some of the wind stays trapped and also I think he gets very crampy in his lower abdomen so he 'll cry when doing a poo iykwim.

It does pass - often at around 12 weeks - in the meantime keep doing what you're doing, hold her, if she doesn't want to be laid down flat then prop her up a bit with a pillow or rolled up towel under her mattress, etc...face down along your arm may make her more comfortable too.

Hang in there, it is awful I know but it does pass x

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OutsideOverThere · 03/03/2013 16:27

I think another idea would be, try changing her formula, but I'm bfing so don't know what's what about that. I'm sure someone can tell you on here.
(might not be getting on with cows milk for example?)

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HarrietSchulenberg · 03/03/2013 16:37

Strong sucking reflex meaning that she's not content without sucking something? Ds1 just wasn't happy unless he was sucking and in the end I gave him a dummy, which worked a treat. I'd always been very anti-dummies but it wasmy (very lovely) GP who suggested it at my 6 week check and as she pointed out a dummy isn't forever and it gave us both the peace we needed to enjoy each other a bit more.

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moomoo2013 · 03/03/2013 17:08

Thanks so much for the quick responses just that has made me feel better.

outsideoverthere: I havnt thought of the formula, my mum tried to convince me to change her to hungry baby but my HV told me not to bother. she has her first set of injections next week so i will ask my GP then.

she does cry when she poos but i never thought of that being wind so thats a possibility. I sit her in her bouncey which sits her upright for that reason and my friend who does baby massage taught me ways to help her tummy. It just doesnt seem to take effect.

harrietschluenberg: She has a dummy that sometimes works but she can take it or leave it. I felt the same about dummies but gave in because of this reason... it does appease her for a bit but she often just spits it out... I'll ask next week also.

My mum suggested getting a faster flow bottle any ideas if Tommee Tippee "closer to nature" do different flow speeds? I thought they went up in ages??

I get so wound up... its me and DD all day from 9am till 10pm and its so sad that this past week we've not had any fun together whatsoever.

Sad Sad Sad

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ZuleikaD · 03/03/2013 17:10

Try putting your little finger into her mouth (nail down) and see if that soothes her - if so then she needs something to suck.

Also, you mention playing, tummy time, singing and talking BUT not cuddling... what babies this age need more than anything is simply being held. I would strongly recommend trying a good sling - a stretchy wrap one is good for this age. Pop her in it and go for a walk. Your heartbeat and the swaying motion will help her settle.

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Pascha · 03/03/2013 17:18

DS2 is like this at 8 weeks old. He's slowly improving but i've found keeping him upright after feeds for a while, gripe water and a dummy to suck have made the most difference. The dummy makes him produce saliva which goes down his gullet and suppresses the acid heartburn which I suspect is causing most of the crying and the gripe water deals nicely with the wind.

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moomoo2013 · 03/03/2013 17:34

Thanks again for the replies!

yeah Zuleika definate cuddles infact I'm sad cuddling isnt something she seems to enjoy this past week/s I have considered a sling but being as though cuddling is something she doesnt respond well to ie: pushing away from me , stiffening her body to a standing position, kicking and crying I thought it would be a usless purhcase? I love the idea of them though.

Pascha she was on dentinox colic medicine for a while, Im starting to regret taking her off these as it seems by popular response she may have wind problems still. I was just wary of the consequences of keeping her on these for extended periods of times...since shes not been taking these medicines she sleeps so much better evening nights and for much longer so I assumed the sleeping patterns ran in conjunction with cutting down on gripe water?

Again thanks for the replies shes napping now RELEIF!! I live in a semi-detached property sometimes I think my neighbors must think Im a horrendous mother!!! which just adds to the anxiety!

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ZuleikaD · 03/03/2013 17:43

Does anyone have a sling you could borrow to give it a try? Lots of places have sling 'libraries' where you can try out various types before buying.

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Flojobunny · 03/03/2013 17:46

She sounds hungry to me. My DS was like this and when I switched to hungry baby formula he was a bit better and when I weaned him it made all the difference.

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stargirl1701 · 03/03/2013 17:51

Could it be silent reflux?

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moomoo2013 · 03/03/2013 19:03

ZuleikaD sling purchased and done delivered on weds! Ill let you know how it goes!

Flojobunny I thought this too as she was a bigger baby at birth at 8.9 but ive read that you have to wait till 6month + how old was your DS when you switched him?

stargirl701 Ive read a lot on mumsnet about silent reflux but never understood really the symptoms? my general understanding is that its like a sort or baby indigestin? any help there?

Thanks for responses!

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knitterati · 03/03/2013 19:25

Could it be cluster feeding? Not sure if that only applies to bfed babies?!

I remember feeding & feeding & feeding for hours from 6pm until DD eventually went to sleep at about 10pm. Heaven help us if she wasn't been fed...car trips, bouncing, rocking, just would not do!

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stargirl1701 · 03/03/2013 19:29

For us, it began with feeding issues. DD would take 1-2oz and then start screaming. She was very stiff, almost like a board, and clearly still hungry. Quite simply, the milk appeared to be hurting her.

It then progressed to hours and hours and hours of continuous screaming without any breaks at all. She would not be out down at all. The only way we could get to sleep was on the move - pram, sling, car, birth ball. The movement seemed to distract her.

She craved physical contact at all times, including at night. She just wanted to be held close all the time.

Silent reflux is when the stomach acid enters the bottom of the oesophagus and burns it. There is no or little vomiting with silent reflux.

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Flisspaps · 03/03/2013 19:39

I thought silent reflux or colic. Colic is simply unexplained crying - it isn't necessarily because of wind.

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Harriet81 · 03/03/2013 20:01

Mine has similar trouble at the same age. I changed to SMA Wysoya formula and within 2-3 days he was calm and happy. Good luck. Zx

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HenD19 · 03/03/2013 20:12

Persevere with the dummy. I think it will really help in the end.

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SconeInSixtySeconds · 03/03/2013 20:19

Sounds like silent reflux to me as well, dd was breast fed but was the exact same thing, I could not comfort her no matter what I did. Go see your gp moomoo and mega hugs because I remember just how hard it is...

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Bouncey · 03/03/2013 21:36

It sounds very similar to my little girl, and could well be colic, which I think is defined as more than 3 hours unexplained crying each day. Another possibility is silent reflux and it's worth trying baby gaviscon (available on prescription) which you can add to her bottle.

My little girl grew out of it at about 12 weeks but it was truly depressing at the time, I felt like a failure. I echo the sling suggestion as that was the one thing that made a big difference, she would happily sleep in it for a couple of hours at at time (although she did grumble going into it, but once I walked around for a bit she fell asleep).

Don't worry, this phase will end very soon. One day my baby just started cooing and smiling.

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stargirl1701 · 03/03/2013 21:59

Moo, it is worth videoing an episode on your phone to show to the GP.

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Flojobunny · 03/03/2013 22:18

OP my DS was a 10lb baby, I wasn't aware that hungry baby formula was for 6m+ ? He was 9 weeks when I switched to SMA hungry baby and 16 weeks when I introduced baby rice.

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Flisspaps · 03/03/2013 23:10

Flojo Being 10lb is irrelevant. DS was 11lb 7oz at birth and EBF to 6m. He didn't need formula, hungry baby formula or weaning early because he was big.

Hungry baby milk just bungs babies up as it's harder to digest. If babies are hungry then they need more milk in order to get the calories they need, not clogging up with thicker milk.

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Catchingmockingbirds · 03/03/2013 23:21

Could she possibly be allergic to the milk? Dsd was the same and it turned out to be a dairy intolerance.

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Catchingmockingbirds · 03/03/2013 23:22
  • lactose intolerance that should say.
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stargirl1701 · 03/03/2013 23:27

Lactose intolerance is pretty rare. A more likely candidate would be Cows Milk Protein Intolerance.

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omaoma · 03/03/2013 23:32

isn't there something about bfing mums giving up dairy to help this? ie, the mum gives up dairy in her diet, and that in turn affects what's going into the breastmilk, which is having some kind of negative effect on baby. somebody i know did this I'm sure and said it made a difference. something on it here

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