What to do with a 4 month old!!!???!!!!

[514]

Hello, this may sound like a bizarre question but its one which I really need some help with! My little boy has just turned four months old and I am obsessed with the question of how long I should spend playing with him each day and what that 'playing' should consist of? We have plenty of toys but after about five mins of me shaking them and talking in a funny voice to him he just looks bored. I can't think of what else to do and am feeling like a really bad mum because I can't keep him entertained and he just sits in his chair or lies on his mat looking bored all day. Help! Am I a terrible mother?!

[Ironmaiden]

Playgymn saved me at this stage, also reading stories, singing songs etc. If you find things that make him laugh keep doing them and elaborate on them. You will be his favorite thing to look at right now!! Doesn't matter what you do as long as you are with him loving him!!
At 4 months old he'll be able to hold things soon anyway and start to play and react to touch. Then he'll have the whole world and it's wife in his mouth and you'll be longing for the days when he just lay there!!!

[pesme]

go out for walks. go and have coffee, they love seeing people. go shopping. you won't be able to do any of these peacefully in a few months time.

[LilacBump]

i'd suggest lots of singing and talking to him.

[starlover]

no, you aren't a terrible mother! babies don't really do that much at 4 months old, and tbh I am not convinced that playing with them really helps.

he will be learning all kinds of things by looking around, watching you, watching everything... listening to what is going on around him

he may appear to be bored, but I bet he is far from it!
He will probably enjoy just being cuddled and talked to, or sung to. he might also enjoy if you have him in a sling while you do your everyday things, just to give him a different perspective on stuff

fwiw i think it's good if babies are left to just sit in their chair on lay on a mat for short periods, it certainly won't harm him and he will get used to not being constantly bombarded with attention and information

[514]

Thanks to you both, they are really helpful suggestions. With him being my first and never having been at home all day before I'm finding it really difficult to decide how long I should spend exclusively with him compared with doing chores and finding time for myself.

[tribpot]

The thing my ds liked most at that age was a wallhanging, with a mirror and squares with black and white patterns on, at that age they still can't distinguish colours, I think. He used to love looking at that tied on to his play gym, and then might have a gentle kick at one of the toys hanging down.

A friend of mine with an 11-month-old came to visit at about this time, and as that little boy tore round the living room, trying to destroy the play gym, pulling out all the DVDs and throwing them around, and then licking electrical cables before we knew if they were plugged in or not, I thought "my god, is my ds going to become like that?"

I can now reveal the answer: YES. Every day is like trying to contain a whirlwind (and at 10 months, he isn't even walking yet of course!).

I would sing to him, carry him around with you whilst you get on with stuff (also something I recall blissfully now), talk to him about what you're doing. Of course he has no idea what you're on about, but that's beside the point. And let him have some time to himself, with things that visually interest him, I will have a look for a link to the wall hanging thing I'm thinking of.

And prepare for the whirlwind!

[514]

Thanks everyone for all your help and suggestions. Sometimes its nice to know you are not the only one to have felt like this!

[SummerDays]

I know he's young, but have you thought about going to a playgroup? We waited with my first and when we finally did go, he was a bit shellshocked with all the noise, etc. My second loved it, just being able to observe all the other children moving and playing! And of course you get to meet other mums and chat! Maybe your are has one especially for babies? Some areas do.