19 month old son starting to hit, bite, scratch his mum (me :( ) how to stop it?

(5 Posts)
TamaraNicolaou Fri 01-Mar-13 11:44:17

2 months ago brought home a little brother for our 19month old, he loves him dearly, but I have noticed a change in attitude towards me (appears to be very angry) Which I understand and am trying so hard to be the same person I was before his little brother arrived, has anyone got any helpful advice as to how I can help him get over this phase (quickly) my face is full of scratches LOL...

ZuleikaD Fri 01-Mar-13 15:01:25

Say NO HITTING, HITTING HURTS firmly and give a brief timeout (no more than a minute or so because it's quite a severe form of discipline for a 19mo).

At the same time make sure he's still getting the same amount of physical contact from you that he had before - when toddlers start walloping it's often because they're missing out on the levels of touch that they had before and still need.

You can also encourage gentle touch - if his arm starts to flail towards your face, catch his wrist and help him stroke your face so he starts to understand what 'gently' means.

CatchTheFox Sat 02-Mar-13 15:02:01

congrats on your new baby smile

there's a useful article here about hitting and how reframing way you think about a toddler's negative behaviour can help :
www.janetlansbury.com/2012/09/biting-hitting-kicking-and-other-challenging-toddler-behavior

essentially, you have to think about the negative behviour as a child's way of asking for help. Then, you do your best to help them - without getting upset or angry (oh, the headaches!).

In this case, time out might not be the best thing for your 19 month old. His reaction seems to me as if he is feeling scared and insecure at the arrival of the new baby, so anything you can do to help him feel more connected to you is good

CatchTheFox Sat 02-Mar-13 15:10:29

oops, posted too soon. l was going to agree with Zuleika that plenty of physical contact and cuddles will help. Good luck, there are 15 months between my boys and they are just starting to play together nicely. The early days are hard, but it gets better in leaps and bounds.

TamaraNicolaou Sat 02-Mar-13 18:42:03

Thanks, I will check out that site Catch, I know its all teething problems and we seem to be getting over the worst of it, thankfully.

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