8 months pregnant and a bit stressed!...help

(5 Posts)
ladypop Fri 01-Mar-13 09:57:26

I am 8 months pregnant and we already have a 3 yr old son. Since Christmas he has been getting more clingy towards me. He has always been a bit of a mummy boy....aren't they all though!?....

Anyway, he spends equal time with both grandparents each week and over the past year has developed a preference towards one set over the other.

They generally indulge his every wish and are always buying him new things, pretty much every time he sees them. I agree they are fabulous grandparents, but I find it a bit excessive. On the other hand, the other set are great with him and take him new places all the time but I think are a bit more the other way. He has to fit in with them a bit more and he isn't the absolute centre of everything they do (which is normal life to me) and there isn't an endless flow of new toys/books......well which is a 3 yr old going to prefer?.......no prizes for guessing!!

Anyhow, the last few weeks it has become more obvious, with him desperatley wanting to see the one set but not wanting to see the other and actually getting upset at the prospect if he knows I won't be there.

I now start to dread each week when they come to pick him up when they look after him for the day as it is so stressful with crying and generally horrible behaviour. I know he is fine as soon as he is with them and they have a good day, so I know there is no real problem overall. However, it is obvious to the one set ow he is prefering one over the other....... and I am painfully aware of this and it is really upsetting me.

I know I am probably being more sensitive than usual (I was with my first childs pregnancy) but I feel helpless to do anything. I know there is actually nothing I can do. He is 3 years old and it is probably a phase that will ebb and flow and change as do most things with a toddler. My husband tells me not to worry and although he recognises it is an issue, he certainly isn't loosing sleep over it!

I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest to a neutral party as I don't feel there is much else I can do at home.

Might it be worth changing your routine a bit? What about meeting the grandparents that he is fussing over out in a different location for a change, perhaps with you there as well? Sorry I can't remember if you said you were working and am on my phone here so can't re-read! Sometimes a change can break a habit. I feel for you. That's stressful, especially when it's family...

MisForMumNotMaid Fri 01-Mar-13 20:11:28

He's a bright child. Quietly you can be very proud whilst you work out your strategy.

He, as all children do by their very nature, is playing you.

My DD is 2 and she's just mastered this trickery with my parents. One day she'll be all no mummy wait, then she'll cling to my mum who will in turn spoil her. My dad won't get a look in because she'll have got Grannys attention. On another day my dad will get to her first and spoil her and my mum wont get a look in.

Children are so fickle when they are confident that they're so loved.

Is your main issue assumed guilt?

ladypop Sat 02-Mar-13 15:24:23

Prob being a bit thick, but what do you mean by assumed guilt?

MisForMumNotMaid Sun 03-Mar-13 14:38:39

By assumed guilt I mean you feel bad that those who are doing you a favour and looking after your DS may not be getting his full love because others who also do you favours, spoil him.

Its a bit of a rock and a hard place thing. I assume you are grateful to all and feel you should be able to control the situation with your DS, he's your child,but if you say anything to either set of parents someone could be offended either the spoilers or those who spoil less may feel judged that they should spoil more.

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