DD is 3.5 years old. For the last 2 months her behaviour has gone worse by the day. For the last 3 weeks we are having screaming tantrums lasting between 45minutes to an hours an average of twice a day sometimes even three times. It can start from a simple request to go for a wee before going to sleep or by just getting NO as an answer for something that she has asked and it was not possible for her to have. We do pick our battles although at the moment everything seems to be a battle.
We have created a chart with the house rules which we have chosen together and she participated in decorating the chart. We hoped that maybe by seeing the house rule chart that she would follow them but it has not worked. We have been confiscating toys when being warned that her behaviour is not acceptable and she could only get them back when we have family meetings and if her behaviour has been good. We have explained her which behaviour is acceptable and which one isn't so she can understand what we are talking about. We have used putting her in her room and telling her that she can leave her room once she has calmed down but this hasn't worked. We have told her that we don't like the way she talks to us and that makes us feel sad and it hasn't worked either. We have created a feeling chart where she can tell us how she feels by sticking a emotion card inside a sun, this hasn't worked either. We have also given her warnings that if she didn't change her behaviour she wouldn't watch telly.
Her behaviour in pre-school is excellent, when she is in other people's care they always say that she behaves fantastically well so it seems that all this anger is in the house only and with us.
I am separated from her dad and we live with my DP. It also seems that her behaviour with her dad is excellent and never has any of these outbursts.
When we ask her why she is doing it she always shouts that she doesn't know which it would be expected because of her age. So now the question. Does any of you know how to deal with this please? We believe that we have tried averything we know and nothing has worked. At the moment she has been screaming, shouting and crying for the last 44 minutes. I have sat with her hugging her to see if she would calm down and she kept scratching me and pinching me but didn't try to get out. I was sitting on the floor and she was sitting on my lap and I was hugging her.
DP and I are desperate for new ideas of what to do with her. We are both very angry at the moment and we dob't feel like doing anything with her. Yesterday we went to an activity so we could spend some time together doing nice things and at the end we had to come back home because she started one of her outburts.
We are at the point of thinking that we may need professional help as we are completely unable to change the situation. Any ideas much welcome. Thanks
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Shouting, defying, horrible behaviour from a 3.5 years old. In desperate need of advice please. Sorry for a long post
31 replies
hereagain99 · 20/02/2013 13:53
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