37 month old still parallel playing

(5 Posts)
MrsMushroom Wed 20-Feb-13 13:09:25

OP I had a bit of this with my older dd....she had exceptional language but was extremely shy....took a year to adjust to preschool and then another few months in reception.

She got there....now she's 8 and very happy and sociable...she's STILL quiet and always will be probably....because she was so shy, one teacher got a bee in her bonnet about assesing her....despite the fact that she was doing well academically and socially. She felt DD wasn't comprehending her reading books.

She was. She simply didn't get on with this particular teacher and didn't like chatting to her about what she'd read. She was verging on defiant with her and would not answer questions....because this teacher was a young, popular one she hated this....and tried to get to the bottom of it...which involved suggesting DD was on the spectrum.

this was shot out of the water by the SENCO and myself....DD is in year 4 now and doing very well...no complaints from her teacher at all.

I would concentrate on having some kids over for playdates....they're small still so maybe invite the parent to come and have coffee while they play. DD has some catching up to do because of her past delay...I bet that's all there is to it.

Cammy1969 Wed 20-Feb-13 12:38:30

Thanks so much for your responses. Apart from the verbal delay and reported parallel play at pre-school, DD is a delight in every way. She is very affectionate and caring, if any one hurts themselves she will run over and ask if they are ok and give them a hug. I have seem her play 'with' a 4-5 year old very nicely, even when he wasn't sharing his toys, she was happy to just play in the game with him cheering when he succeeded doing something etc. I am a little concerned that there may be a tendency to pigeon hole everyone these days. What if she's just a little shy or not interested in sitting in the circle because she can't fully understand the story. Why does there have to be some deep rooted problem? Wouldn't I have had an inkling as her mother that something was different about her or something was wrong? especially after having two others. But I honestly didn't and don't feel there is anything wrong with her which is why it is coming as such a shock. Or am I just in denial?
Thanks again everyone, sorry I launched into this without introducing myself first. I just didn't sleep last night with worry.

NomNomDePlumPudding Wed 20-Feb-13 10:54:21

dd1 is 4 now and engages in interactive play, but i think at just over 3 she was also still only parallel playing; they develop at different rates and i wouldn't stress about this yet, particularly since her speech has been a little delayed. your dd plays well with her siblings who are older, it may be that she just hasn't worked out how to initiate play as her older siblings presumably do all the initiating.

MrsMushroom Wed 20-Feb-13 10:48:27

Well....she's still catching up on lost time due to her delay I suppose. She's ok with language now...but wasn't a year ago...so it kind of makes sense that the social side of things isn't where it should be.

you could invite a child over to play at yours perhaps, invite a few...not at the same time....DD might begin to associate them with home and mix more?

Do you have any other concerns? How is she with non verbal communication? Body language and gestures for example?

Cammy1969 Wed 20-Feb-13 04:01:57

My daughter has a speech delay, and was being monitored by a speech therapist at pre-school. This morning she had another assessment and the speech therapist said she was no longer worried about her speech as she is coming along nicely, but she is concerned that she is still parallel playing and doesn't like to sit down with the others at story time. I have to say that my little girl has two older siblings aged 10 and 8, with whom she plays beautifully taking turns and playing their games, but at pre-school she apparently only plays along side and not with children. I suggested to the therapist that maybe she doesn't sit down with the others at story time because she doesn't understand the story as much as the others yet, but the therapist said that other children weren't necessarily listening but they still conformed and sat down with the others. I just want to add that at home she is a loving affectionate easy going child, and apart from her language delay, has never given me cause for concern. I'm really worrying now, what could be wrong? I honestly just thought she was a little late with her speech because she has been molly coddled by her sisters and parents being the youngest and last child and that she would catch up and it would have no impact or consequence on the rest of her life. But now the therapist has got me worrying that something else more serious could be wrong. Please help, and advise.

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