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Mothers of boys-advice please, dont think i handled this very well....

22 replies

tiredemma · 27/04/2006 14:09

dont know where to start with this, part of me feels that im behaving irrationaly and another part of me feels a bit sick.

here goes...

last night, same as any other night both Ds's were in the bath together. Ds1 is 5 (6 in sept) and Ds2 is 3. They were both splashing about, playing, laughing etc.
anyway, i had to run downstairs to get a nappy, and then the phone rang for dp so i went into the living room to pass him the phone, as i was going back up the stairs i heard ds1 giggling and as i walked into the bathroom noticed that his willy (thats what its called in our house) was semi-erect,and ds2 was giggling and laughing.

I said to ds1 "what are you up to?" ( my heart was racing etc and ears ringing- felt as if i was going to pass out) he said " nothing, we are just playing" - so iasked ds2 "what were you doing then?" and he was chuckling away and said " eating xxxxx willy". They were both laughing, but i didnt handle it very well, i said to ds1 -" why did you let him do that" and ds1 said " because its fun"

immediatly i launched into telling him that he can no longer share a bath with his brother, that what they had been doing was wrong, tbh- i cant really remember what i said as my head was ringing.

i took them both out of the bath and got them dressed for bed, put ds2 to bed and went into ds1's room and he looked all sad. i cuddled him and told him that what he was doing was wrong for brothers to do, he shouldnt do it etc.
he got all upset and asked " does it mea that we will get poorly and die?" and i told him that no- he just shouldnt do it again.

he went to bed ok, dp was still on the phone downstairs, when he got off i suggested that he may need to talk to ds1 about what had happened, he just said, " no, not if you have already dealt with it- dont embarrase him, dont make an issue out of it"

this has pissed me off abit because i think i have handled it all wrong, i dont want either of them to grow up with a complex about their bits but equally i dont want them to think that what they were doing was ok.

Its the first time i have come across this, deep down i feel that ds1 is old enough to know better, and this is what saddens me the most, why was he doing this??

im so upset about it, havent stopped thinking about it all night and have spent most of this morning with tears rolling down my face.

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pooka · 27/04/2006 14:22

Hmmm. Part of me thinks that your dp is right to say that you should let the subject drop - simply because I'm not sure that going on about it is a good idea. You obviously made it clear that you felt that it was inappropriate and your ds1's reaction (sadness) suggests that he's taken in on board. Maybe wait and see whether he broaches the subject himself, and if he does then go ahead and maybe give the talk about privates being private.