Help me find a better way please?

[Wishiwasanheiress]

Dd1 is 2. Dd2 has just come home and is 2.5wks. It's very early days addmitedly but I'm sick of hearing my voice already.

I seem to suddenly be always shouting or having to sound cross to get dd1 to do anything. Wash hands, come for face wipe etc. I understand the two are linked. I'm sure I'm falling into a 'parent trap' that's easy. I don't like it.

Any advice from parents of 2+ I can learn from? Most my friends have 1 and til I'm better (csec) and can do more to see friends that do have 2 ur help would be appreciated. I'm also bfing which means sitting down in one spot a fair while. I do have a sling so can use to help indoors I think.

Thanks alot

[neshi]

Hi,
My Ds is 2.6 and Dd 6 months so I can really understand what you're saying!! It's hard at the beginning, it really is and I can so remember being tired of my own voice as you mention!
What I try all the time is to think he's a small child and still getting used to having to share his parent with a new "intruder"! It's also hard on them, trust me!
Here, it helped to talk to him in a more calmer way, coming down to his level and looking him in the eyes. It did wonders when I managed to sit only with him (when new baby was sleeping) and have 1 to 1 time doing whatever he likes, like painting, reading a book, making cookies...something that was our time only! Praise him, a looooooottttttt every time he does something nice, even the smalest of the things. You may feel kind of "stupid" doing this, but I saw a very good effect on Ds.
Something else we still do now a lot is going on a "date", I leave baby with my husband and go out for lunch with Ds, somewhere like Nandos, he loves it.
Also, I found that if I made him participate as much as I could he would be so happy, so asked him to help you with nappy change, things like get the new nappy, put the dirty one on the bin, pass the wipes, etc. He would also help me handing me Dd bath towel, small thing like that made him feel useful.
Bfeeding can be a hard task with a toddler around and in that case...well, I just had tv on for that time, not the best ever solution but I was really getting stressed at those times.
I know it's early on and the weather isn't great, but try and go out with them as much as you can, to the park, library, whatever, get him out of the house for fresh air, does wonders here also!

I can tell you it's very hard but it will only get better, and sooner than what you expect. Remember this is a hard time on the toddler but she'll get there!
Last but not least...found this book quite helpfull....bought it when I was in total dispair... www.amazon.co.uk/Calmer-Easier-Happier-Parenting-Revolutionary/dp/144472990X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1360321374&sr=8-1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[char79]

Yes, your not alone! Have got a 2 year old and 8 week old and having exactly the same issues! I am bf and feel like a sofa hostage as a watch my toddler in a whirlwind of destruction as she puts peanut butter on the tv, licks candles etc! Try to toddler proof before start a feed and have activities out to distract with like a den made with chairs. It is so hard, I feel physically and mentally worn but it will be worth it! Keep thinking of the spring and picnics!