Ds5 insistent requests and pinching of bad food.

(47 Posts)
cupcake78 Thu 24-Jan-13 07:03:21

I don't know how to handle this now. Ds is getting into terrible habits of bad food eating.

I do restrict foods like sweets and crisps but they are far from banned.

This morning he snuck downstairs and came upstairs with an ice cream out the freezer for breakfast. It was obviously returned fast with many tears and tantrums and toast and jam was provided instead. He seems to be doing this more and more.

We put naughty foods out of reach as he will just eat that. All he wants is sausage rolls, crisps and other things I class as rubbish. He will not eat homemade foods (every tea is homemade) and his tantrums are getting worse.

I can't see where I'm going wrong. Can you help?

TanteRose Thu 24-Jan-13 07:07:09

stop buying crisps, sausage rolls and ice cream

stop calling them naughty foods

its just a phase

TanteRose Thu 24-Jan-13 07:08:26

alternatively, just let him eat what he wants for a while

its just a phase

Please stop calling food naughty and bad.
There's no naughty food. If you don't want him helping himself, don't buy it and have it accessible.
But don't set up negative associations with food by calling it naughty.

And WRT dinner, cook what you want. Give it to him. If he doesn't eat it, he will be hungry.
Putting "naughty" food where he can't reach it but he knows it is there is going to cause a battle isn't it?

SavoyCabbage Thu 24-Jan-13 07:11:47

Just get rid of it all. Or hide it better.

I don't let my dc help themselves to any food as I am strict as hell. grin You could put a fruit bowl on the table so he can help himself to fruit if he is hungry.

I set my table for breakfast before I go to bed (because I am shit at mornings, not because I am from the 50's) so there is cereal (two choices only, weetabix and one other) and then butter, jam, vegemite, peanut butter and the dc do their own breakfasts.

I think you need to stop thinking of some foods as bad or naughty.

I would just say 'no you can't have any xyz because we haven't got any but it's dinner time in an hour. We are having pasta. Why don't you play with your farm until its ready'

cupcake78 Thu 24-Jan-13 07:12:20

I don't call them naughty foods to him, I explain they are bad for him.

We tried that for about 4 weeks. There is always fruit, yogurts and cheese for him that he can get to but he refuses them and then we get hours and hours of crying and sleepless nights because he's so hungry.

cupcake78 Thu 24-Jan-13 07:13:51

By that I mean not having them in the house.

SavoyCabbage Thu 24-Jan-13 07:16:08

I would power through in that case. Just give him three meals a day. Nothing else at all. He might not be hungry enough at meal times to eat them.

I have a friend like this whose ds snacks away and then she is baffled when he doesn't eat the delicious meal she has made. The poor lad is full before it hits the table.

Or

Get rid of all the unhealthy food and let him graze whenever he wants.

But how is he supposed to understand the food is bad for him but you still have it in the house and you still let him eat it if he doesn't eat his dinner?

Don't keep it in the house. Have stuff you are happy for him to eat. And that's it. He will not starve himself.

TanteRose Thu 24-Jan-13 07:24:25

"I explain they are bad for him"

no they aren't - ice cream is quite nutritious, and can be a perfect food for when children are ill etc. As are ice lollies - good source of rehyradration

sausage rolls - again in moderation, nothing wrong with them

what does he typically eat in a day?

cupcake78 Thu 24-Jan-13 07:26:07

I tell him it's ok to have a few times a week but not every day/meal time. Am I expecting too much of him? I don't want to ban it as that's what happened to me when I was little and later I had a bad relationship with food as a result.

I'm going to have to try and get better at this. I'm sure some of the problem has come from my terrible morning sickness making it almost impossible for me to cook for months. So foods i could make have been restricted. I'm coming out of that now so need to put more effort into his tea times. I still can't stand garlic, onions, leeks and spices yet ds loves curry.

Lynned Thu 24-Jan-13 07:26:44

My Ds would eat crisps, biscuits all day if he could. Now we have a rule ( only one bag of crisps a day) every time he has crap food, he has to have a piece of fruit too. The little boxes of raisins are considered a treat by him too!

How old is he?

Ah is he 5 or your 5th child?

MrsMushroom Thu 24-Jan-13 07:35:02

Could it be that what he's hving for breakfast, lunch etc isn't filling him? If he's saying he's hungry a lot....can I ask what a typical meal is for him in the morning and for lunch?

I know what its like, neither of my DDs will leave the freezer alone if there is icecream in it....now I don't buy it except rarely....and then it;s a small box which is enough for everyone to have one.

I never bu crisps....they're nice of course but noboduy needs them....when we go shops they don't get sweets every time either.

A treat in our house is more likely a hoomemade cake or muffin and sometimes chocolate which I figure is more like a whole food than sweets or crisps.

Smudging Thu 24-Jan-13 07:39:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cupcake78 Thu 24-Jan-13 07:42:49

He will have toast and jam or cereal in a morning for breakfast.

School dinner

He comes in from school starving and this is when it all began! It has since escalated to constant from the moment he is awake.

I try to have a homemade cake or scones in for him for after school and get him to help so he will eat it.

He drinks loads of milk, which is really good! He loves crisps and would happily eat sausage rolls, crisps, raw carrots, olives and a babybell cheese for his tea. A pudding of some sort, usually a creme caramel, mousse, mince pie, custard. I do give him this 3 nights a week especially if dh and I are having something I know ds really doesn't like, not just being fussy. It's kind of a compromise with aim if getting him to be less fussy.

I've tried getting him to help cook tea but he still refuses it. We've done the whole if you don't want it now we can keep it till your ready to eat, that doesn't work.

He then starts with constant requests for more pudding, sweets, crisps etc. to the point of insanity, screaming shouting and fits. I stand firm with if your still hungry you can have some fruit, yogurt, cheese and crackers, cereal, toast etc. this has been going on since he started school in sept and he is still not bored with it! We are. We've done naughty step, early bedtime, no story, ignoring etc to try and stop the tantrums. It hasn't worked!

He refuses all and his behaviour gets worse and worse, until its bedtime of dh gets in from work and then ds starts on him!

Every night bedtime is followed by but I'm hungry, we did give him something but fast learnt it was to delay bedtime so that's stopped.

TanteRose Thu 24-Jan-13 07:43:58

another thought - is he getting enough protein?

you say he had toast and jam for breakfast. It might be better to give him a boiled egg, or some cheese on toast etc.

if he is constantly saying he is hungry, he may need more protein in his diet.

I appreciate that if you are pregnant with morning sickness etc. it will be hard to cook.

can your DS's dad step up and cook a few meals?

GreatUncleEddie Thu 24-Jan-13 07:46:08

In that case I would stop buying the stuff you don't want him to have. Totally stop. You'll only need to for a few weeks.

TanteRose Thu 24-Jan-13 07:48:41

you say he drinks loads of milk - be careful. This could be filling him up too, so he doesn't eat much food.

"Loads" of anything is not particularly good...whatever it is.

again, look at his protein intake

MrsMushroom Thu 24-Jan-13 07:49:13

HE sounds like he's not getting enough solid food really...his tea needs to be ready when he gets in,

I've learned that the hard way! I now make sure something is almost cooked or can be heated up within 5 mins when we get back from school.

If he's having such a snacky tea, he will feel hungry and nag....he's getting a shot of sugar off the pudding and a fast carb upload from the sausage rolls etc.

I know it's a mare but get rid of all the snack foods...no sausage rollls no crisps or babybels no caamel mousse.

I make faces out of DDs tea....it does help...she''s almost 5 and a fussy eater. If she does not eat her tea then there's nothing but fruit, crackers and cheese (off a block not a babybel) on offer.

She's learned this now and while she still does not eat all her tea, all the time neither is she filling up on empty calories which is how weight problems start.

cupcake78 Thu 24-Jan-13 07:50:28

He's practically vegetarian, it's just the way he is. We tried peanut butter on bagel for breakfast. He didnt eat it. He eats at least two slices of toast and drinks a full large glass of milk for breakfast.

At school he eats fruit or veg as a snack and eats the dinners except mash, he hates it! Pudding is never an issue. He will also eat different foods at grandparents houses etc.

At home he is a pain. He's always been fussy but its just getting worse not better.

MrsMushroom Thu 24-Jan-13 07:50:51

I agree with Tante protein is what makes you feel "full" Does he like omlette? Scrambled egg?

A quick tea should be something ike that rather than crisps etc....he needs a portion of protein at tea time. How is he with meat?

MrsMushroom Thu 24-Jan-13 07:54:05

x posts....my DD is also practicaly vegitarian. The breakfast is'n't great but it's something.....I reay think you might have to get tough and stop buying his snack type foods.

Beans on a baked potato would be a good tea especially with some salad or other greens....I do a pasta bake with lots of pulses hidden inside and DD doesn't know they're there.

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