DS (5.10) would NOT get ready, would either argue about EVERYTHING or get immediately distracted and I was at my wits' end until....

[HopeForTheBest]

...I remembered reading on MN (of course :o ) about visual timetables and thought "what the hell, give it a go".

It is UNBELIEVABLE.

We have 3 charts now:

1. a timetable which shows the whole week and what is happening on each day ie whether he has kindergarten, which activities are on in the afternoons etc etc, with cliparts for each thing (which he helped choose) and colour-coding for the days.
   

He then just does a big cross at the top of each day as it comes, to show where we are in the week.

1. a "getting ready in the morning" timetable with a list of the clothes he has to put on, in the order to put them on, again with little cliparts (as he cannot read yet), and things like brushing teeth
   

1. a "getting ready for bed" with first point being clear up toys, then brush teeth, loo, get into pjs, bring story for reading etc.
   

He gets to tick off the activities as he's done them, one column for each day (same day colours as for weekly chart).

It is AMAZING. Really, truly astonishing. It has:

-given him more responsibility and independence at a level he can completely cope with

• taken away the need for me to nag and remind him what needs to be done: I just say "check your timetable" or "what's next on your timetable?" and off he goes
  

• actually stopped the huge tears, tantrums and arguements we'd been having every morning and evening recently.
  

DS is very much a dreamer, he gets into his own little world at the drop of a hat, and it would drive me MAD having to remind him to PUT HIS PANTS ON PLEASE over and over agian. This combined with a particularly defiant stage made life very difficult.

I just wanted to share this because, while I realise it is not a miracle "cure" and it will not last forever, it has made SUCH a difference to us both.

Thank you MN :)

[moondog]

Brilliant.
Once you are clear with people about

1. Where they are in the passage of time
   
2. What exactly is expected of them
   

then the difference it makes is phenomenal. I have seen many people's lives transformed by these methods, most of them with serious communication and learning problems but they really do work for everyone.
You should repost on the Special Needs thread too.

[NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown]

This sounds great. I've done something similar for my DS who is almost 2. Can I ask where you got it? I have made mine and it's very basic/lacking pictures and those I've seen online haven't quite been what I'm looking for.
Congratulations on tackling this, I think we all behave better when we know what's expected of us

[Ineedmorepatience]

Really glad you are having success with visual timetables.

We love them in my house

[HopeForTheBest]

I made the actual timetables in Word, then found the appropriate cliparts online (so for "Kindergarten" we have a small pic of a teacher and little kids sitting around her - the main thing was that ds knows what each picture stands for).
I'm now printing the weekly one out on A3 and laminating it, so I can stick the cliparts on with tape and move them if necessary, or add things.
The getting dressed /evening routine ones stay the same until eg we get into summer and then I will change the pics to shorts, no socks and t-shirt.

moodog You are absolutely right, and it is slightly embarrassing to me that I never thought of it before. DS has no SN, yet he is very much a dreamer, often in his own fantasy world, combined with being very inquisitive and extremely stubborn by nature: of course it will appeal to him (and help him) to know (as you say) where he is in the passage of time and what is expected of him. I feel quite stupid not to have realised this before :(

MN really is a wonderful resource, there is a wealth of information and advice here, and I am often very grateful for it.