DS 2 is 5, very nearly 6. Up until recently I would have said he was on the 'boysy' end of the spectrum, excitable, jokey and full of energy (although he is hypermobile and very clumsy so not particularly sporty) but a normal little boy. In recent weeks however he has become impossible to deal with. He just can't listen. To get his attention I have to say his name over and over, and then even the simplest instruction has to be repeated several times before he registers, and even then he may get distracted or just not bother. I have tried asking very calmly and nicely, asking him to look at me so I know he knows I am talking, getting down on his level etc - all to no avail. After several polite requests I tend to say that I will count to 5, but he's started not even responding to that, which means I get to 5 and then I don't know what to do next. Often I end up screaming at him and then he screams hysterically back at me, sobbing and all flailing arms - not good. My partner (his Dad) has exactly the same problems with him. He has had some time outs at school for not stopping silly behaviour despite his name going on the board; his after-school carer asked me for tips on how to get him to follow an instruction (sadly I had none!) and he has been in trouble for 'rudeness' with lunchtime staff. When I got to the bottom of this it seems he and his friend were playing a silly game in the lunch hall, and when asked to stop the friend had the good sense to look at the dinner ladies and acknowledge them but my DS just carried on as if they had not spoken, which they interpreted as rudeness. I have tried till I am blue in the face explaining to him that even if you are having the best and most exciting time ever you cannot ignore a grown up because they will see this as rudeness (which it is, but I think it's unintentional) but he doesn't get it. He learns fine at school; is in middle groups for everything (although DS 1 is in top groups and I personally think DS 2 is brighter but barely listening to his rather inexperienced teacher). He's a popular boy and loves to be the clown, but just never knows when to stop and is rather immature. I will readily admit that I have not handled him very well recently and have got angry rather a lot; now no day goes by without several screaming incidents and it seems his default setting is wired, mad and totally unreachable. What can I do to get him to understand about listening, and how do I reach him when he's gone into that over-excited zone where he barely even knows I am there, let alone cares what I am saying...
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