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Behaviour/development

How long do you play?

11 replies

chubbymomie2012 · 19/01/2013 22:40

I am taking a years career break to look after my kids aged 13,11,2 and 10 month. I would just be interested to know how long you all spend playing with you at home kids per day. Thanks ladies. :-)

OP posts:
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Seabright · 19/01/2013 22:43

I constantly feel guilty for not playing enough with my DD, so will be interested in responses. I've never really tried adding up the time, so will try tomorrow.

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Iris1 · 20/01/2013 14:05

Hi mine are 4 and 2.5 and since I left work I have March I've made a conscious effort to play with them much more. I find when I spend a lot of time playing with them they are soooo much happier and easier too. They both do 4 mornings pre school but 1 without the other iyswim so they each get a morning alone with me. On this morning its pretty much no stop attention and we play lots of one to one games, paint, make play dough or just team parties, doctors, lego of etc.
Then provide an hour or two in the evening of playing together, they do watch a bit of tv/play pc/ipad while I cook and they are both pretty good at 'helping' me clean . So even when not playing were together quite a lot.
At weekend its about the same except we usually all spend the morning put instead of playgroup.
There are times the play alone but it never last more than say 30 minutes a time.

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BooCanary · 20/01/2013 14:10

Mine are 6.5 and nearly 4. I don't play with them much at all tbh - they mostly entertain each other!

On a weekend day we normally go for a walk, to park etc together, maybe we'll bake a cake, do a craft activity or a quick play with lego, but that's about it. Oh, and homework/reading too.

Tbh I really don't think my DM used to play with me much, if at all. I think agonising over 'quality time' is a very recent thing.

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Beatrixpotty · 20/01/2013 16:20

Mine are nearly 2,and 3.I work 2 days per week so on the days I look after them ,they both go to a playgroup one morning and the younger one goes to another one when his brother is at pre-school; I don't really play with them there,just supervise (and chat & drink coffee) and intervene if necessary.maybe do a bit of play-doh.I do read quite a lot to them but maybe 40 mins max per day?They play with each ,other push cars and trains around ,sometimes I'll do a jigsaw with the little one for 10-15 minutes.They watch a bit(well,maybe more than a bit!) of TV & play with the iPad whilst I get meals ready etc.Sometimes I get them to do a bit of colouring or cake decoratingBut if you add it all up,they get my full interactive attention for probably an hour a day,and I do feel guilty that a lot of the time I leave them to do their own thing.

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Ragwort · 20/01/2013 16:25

Must admit I could never get into the 'playing' thing with my DS - I'm happy doing a jigsaw or reading to children but totally unenthused about 'playing' - unlike my lovely friend who used to spend ages playing imagination games, building farms/trainsets etc etc. Most of my efforts at playing involved putting out a load of toys whilst I read a book & grunted in an encouraging way Grin. Or took him to the park to play with other children !!

I should think with your four DC the older ones can amuse the younger ones can't they Grin ?

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Meglet · 20/01/2013 16:26

Mine are 6 + 4 and I rarely play with them. I talk to them all the time but they're happy building dens, playing doctors, trains etc without me.

We play board games sometimes though. DS beat me at chess yesterday.

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mysweetie · 20/01/2013 18:02

My DD is 21months and whenever I am not in my work online I will usually play with her but I can't say it is always.

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BooCanary · 20/01/2013 18:06

Tbh me playing with them normally ends in tears.

They will happily play together for 30 - 90 mins at a time. But the minute I get involved, the jealousy starts, sharing issues and general ' mummy why are you being nicer to DS' -ness!!

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peppajay · 20/01/2013 20:31

I posted on here the other day about how I played too much with my two when they were little and how it has backfired on me now. Neither of them know how to play without adult interaction and both me and my DH find them so hard work as they constantly need our attention. They are 6 and 4 now, but in my defence I only did what I thought was right and played with them most of the day or if not played we were out at a toddler group or activity. If I ever had another one (which is unlikely as these 2 stifle us!!!!) I would leave them to be alot more self sufficient from a baby!!!

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whatwhatinthewhatnow · 20/01/2013 22:33

I play with my DS probably about 1-2 hours a day, not in one go but 15 mins here, 15 mins there but he does play on his own the rest of the time, or we are at friends houses/play group etc.

It sounds like a lot but this includes setting up activity time, like if hes doing play doh or card games I sit for just a minute to get him into it and then go.

DP also plays alot with his toys but I wouldn't say he plays 'with' him! They play side by side and DP gets told to share quite often!

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LapinDeBois · 20/01/2013 22:47

peppajay I'm with you there. I played with DS1 pretty much constantly, and he's always been very bad at entertaining himself (though he's much better now he can read). He's also a bit of a child genius (too strong a word, but at age 5 he's considerably ahead of his school peers in maths, reading etc) and quite socially awkward. DS2 plays on his own (or with his brother) a great deal of the time, and at age 2.5 he is already confident, sociable and well-adjusted. It's very hard to determine cause and effect (is DS1 bright/ antisocial/ dependent because I played with him so much, or vice versa?), but I can't believe it has had no effect at all. I think you need a happy balance. I do actually think that v young children get a huge amount out of one on one time with a parent, but it doesn't have to be all about 'playing' - DS2 and I have a lot of fun 'pottering' (shopping, cooking, housework, little walks), and I sometimes find it hard to fit in a lot of active 'playing' before DS1 gets home from school.

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