What is 'Normal' for a 6 year old boy?

[pateran]

I need some help urgently regarding my 6 year old DS. I have no idea if the behaviour he is displaying is normal or if I expect too much of him.
1st of all to explain he was an only child until last year his now has a baby brother who is 1 and he loves dearly - never nasty to him only wants to play with his toys. He had our undivided attention until baby came along but I was always careful never to let him away with anything because I always knew we wanted a 2nd child. DH and I both work full time DH does mornings with the kids and I do nights while he is at work. He goes to afterschool 4 nights per week - football 1 night and swimming on a Sunday. He is particularly bright above average but does tend to fidgit and get into bother for silly things at school - not looking at the teacher or swinging on his chair.

My question is what's normal for a 6 year old? Is the behaviour at school acceptable - the teacher has said he was good but now more satifactory in behaviuor. At home he does some really silly things that end up getting him into trouble and it is honestly like he doesn't think ab out things. For Example - last night he was given a Christmas card from his grandparents - he opened it resad it and then scored through the names and wrote it back to them. DH went ape and put him to bed - but he honestly never thought that this was bad. It is always silly things like this and a sily voice he does that's like a baby, plus answering back.
He is never violent - has a few tandrums with things don't go his way which is fair enough I guess we'd all do that if we could, never anything life threatening of nasty - just silly things all the time. DH and I don;t stand for it so he is always in trouble for things.

DH over reacted last night to the card thing and I'm now at a loss where to go next because I think we not don;t agree on discipline and I can see this being the end of us cause I won't have DH treatment again to DS.

HELP ME?

[FergusSingsTheBlues]

He sounds pretty normal to me. Dont crush his spirit. He's a child, he will be silly, would you rather he were sitting reading the FT and debating issues of the day?

[WineOhWhy]

Unless there is more to his behaviour than you have disclosed in the OP, I am honestly struggling to see what you think is so awful about his behaviour. The card thing sounds quite sweet to me, wanting to write tham a card back again. BUt maybe he did it in a horrible way that you have not described (e.g. indicating that he hates the card and doesn't want it).

[SantaKissedBonkeyMollocks]

What Fergus said!

Hes 6! Kids will be kids!

Pick your battles .
When hes 15 and you want to bollock him for smoking then then he will just think 'meh' ! There is really no need to fly off at him for writing on a chrostmas card that will be in the bin in a few weeks!

[Bakingtins]

I'd say your DH"s expectations are too high of a 6 yr old. The card thing was a bit silly and thoughtless but it sounds like he over-reacted.
Re the behaviour at school I'd make an appointment to talk to the teacher and discuss it with her. If she's describing his overall behaviour as satisfactory then it doesn't sound like a big problem, but it would be worth talking about strategies to keep him engaged (is he being challenged enough if he is bright or is he bored?) and to reward good behaviour.
I have a 6 yr old DS and he doesn't always think things through. I think a degree of impulsiveness goes with the territory at that age.
I tend to send my DS off to his room if he has a bit of a paddy, but not as a punishment, more as some quiet time to sort his feelings out. He nearly always is ready to apologise and talk calmly after a few minutes.
It does sound like you are in a bit of a negative cycle with him - can you decide with your DH to lighten up and let a few things go, and find some good things he is doing to praise and reward? My DS really appreciates it if we can arrange some time for him with one parent and no little brother doing grown up things - bowling, cinema etc. Maybe if he can behave like a grown up then he gets grown up outings?

[ceebeegeebies]

I have a 6 year old boy too - he sounds exactly like your DS1 tbh

He is above average at school but gets told off for silly things such as chatting when the teacher is talking etc. Every now and again, he does something so off the wall that me and DH are just and constantly ask him what he was thinking - I think he just does not think through the consequences of his actions sometimes but he is 6 so why would he?

He flips from being totally lovely to his little brother to hurting him/deliberately tripping him up - that is just the way he is (and of course he gets punished for such things but it doesn't seem to stop) and it is hurtful as DS2 totally adores his big brother but still no big deal.

I think your DH totally over-reacted about the card - not sure what the big deal with.

Seriously, he does sound just like a 6-year old boy so relax and enjoy him

[pateran]

Thanks everyone - I honestly felt this was normal and not out of the ordinary.

I think DH can not see anything from DS point of view and this makes it a nightmare.

[Tgger]

6 is still quite little. I think if your son was 8 or more then that would have been silly behaviour re the card and warranted telling off, but not at 6. I would want to talk it through with DS though about why that might not be appropriate. I think 6 is an in between age.

I think you need to decide with your DH on what your expectations are re behaviour- and find a middle way if you can. What are your boundaries, and what can be ignored? Re school, I think it's ok, but I wouldn't be happy with it myself and would want to work with the teacher to improve it. Is he being engaged/challenged enough?

DS also does the baby talk. It's annoying isn't it. I let him do it a bit but not all the time, eg at meals he needs to ask properly for things.