DD 4yo starting to lie, and other behaviour... I'm assuming it's a phase?

[MrsBigD]

I'm sure there's thread about this somewhere on mn but I'm to uncoordinated this morning to do a proper search :)

DD started fibbing 'properly' about 2 weeks ago and I'm not sure what to do.

So far we only had the 'sneaking up and tap on the shoulder and then looking innocent' kind of fibbing or 'ds did it' 'ds wants this' (ds is 19 months...) which I treated lightly and usually replied with 'does he now shall we ask him' etc.

First blatant example of 'proper' fibbing was that she told me that she'd eaten all her breakfast (because she wanted a sweety) and even showed me the empty bowl. So she got her treat, only for me to find the musly nicely tucked away under my toast 5 minutes later! Brilliantly ingenuitive but also very annoying iykwim. I told her that I do not appreciate that she lied to me and also that there will be no more treats that day - treats are given AFTER she's eaten her fill. It's a means to an end as she's a bad eater and so far it's worked well.

Yesterday she did it again with a food related matter. And again 'no sweeties' and treat of 'no TV' for the day if she does it again. (worst threat ever for our little TV addict).

Not sure how to handle this, as I don't want to make a big issue out of it not to create a power struggle environment.

As for the 'other behaviour'
... yesterday she pushed ds into the door and he's now sporting a mega bruise on his forehead - got a severe telling off for that.
... this morning she hid in her room standing next to ds and did a poo in her night nappy! She hasn't done that for a year+.

I'm baffled. There have not been any dramatic changes in her environenment, except for my dad and his friend visiting and dd having a ball as my father's friend is a 1st grade teacher and they're playing lots of new games. Surely that can't be the cause?!

Any thoughts welcome

[MrsBigD]

anybody?

[Uwila]

I think she gets it from her mother.

[Uwila]

You give treats after breakfast. My DD has to eat breakfast and lunch before the first cookie of the day. If she doesn't eat breakfast, I 'm happy to let her go without, but there will be no food of any kind before lunch.

[Uwila]

ACtually, it does sound like she might be competing for attention if little brother has been getting more of it. Has your dad gone now?

[MrsBigD]

I might be a stroppy c*w at times but I don't lie

Couldn't let dd go without food until lunch... I'm glad for anything she eats, hence the compromise of eat breakfeast first then a treat.

ds hasn't been getting more attention than her. She's the one being spoiled rotten by dad's friend! And they're still around till tomorrow. Then one day break and my mother arrives... oh joy

[Uwila]

Possibly it's just her age then. You know like she's just discovered lying and is excercising her new power.

DD is a really difficult eater too. But if she gets hungry enough she will eat what is in front of her. But ONLY if she is really hungry. Don't know if your DD would respond the same way.

Well, good luck. Mine aren't old enough to lie. So, hopefully someone else with better advice will be along soon.

[MrsBigD]

flexing her lying muscles eh? ah well... I'll grind my teeth and bear it :)

As for 'eating what's put infront of her'... dd rather impersonate a screeching banshee and go hungry... probably because she knows I won't let her starve indefinitely. Though ususally I 'force' her to eat a yoghurt or a banana instead of the endless chips and fishfingers ... trying to get the balance but my nerves!!! are very frayed