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Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Behaviour/development

Two and a half year old Boy. Aggressiveness. Normal?

12 replies

mrsmaddyd · 09/04/2006 09:57

What has happened to my angel child. He gets so aggressive now in the company of other children. He has started to hit which i can deal with but if children get in his face or start argueing with him he gets in a rage and grabs hold of them and wont let go. I had to save three children at a party yesterday Its like a slow motion action movie with me shouting No running across the room.

I get down to his level, tell hi firmly that its wrong and get him to say sorry( he doesnt) but he cuddles and kisses better.

Is this normal? And how do i control it? Any advice would be deeply appreciated before he gets labelled a thug. he starts nurserey after easter and im worried what will happen there without me wacthing him.

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colditz · 09/04/2006 10:01

Absolutely normal.

As long as you are dealing with it, and making him understand that it is naughty to hit people, it is just a waiting game really. He will grow out of it, 2 and a half is very young really.

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alittlebitshy · 09/04/2006 10:05

this was my experience a few weeks ago

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?reverse=1&topicid=1375&threadid=156240&rnd=1670625162508661\my not so angelic dd }

and she already seems to be coming out of it......

which I am pleased about, although I am worried it may slip

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edam · 09/04/2006 10:08

You are doing the right things. It is common at this age. The infuriating thing is when parents don't intervene.

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mrsmaddyd · 09/04/2006 10:12

Its also infruiating when the other mums look at me if i have the worst child ever and thiers are angels
He is generally a very placid loving little boy, but lateley i have to really watch him.
Thanks for your advice everyone, im sure he will grow out of it but i just dont want it to take years.
I cant seem to teach my 3 year old to share and it looks like the boy is going the same way. I try and do everything right but i must be going wrong somewhere

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mrsmaddyd · 09/04/2006 10:14

A little bit shy just read your thread, it all sound very similar. Im sure we shouldnt beat our selves up about it though, but its hard not too

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suzywong · 09/04/2006 10:18

I would lay off the getting him to say sorry. He clearly has enough communication issues under those specific circumstances and sorry is just overload.

You may find it more helpful after you have stopped the affray in the Manner of Bruce Willis and let him know that is not the right way to behave, that empathising with your son helps him to stop this behaviour. Of course you need to then give him another coping strategy, ie turn around and find mum, or just walk away. I think little kids suddenly become able to empathise overnight, it just happens one day, and then you can re-inforce the "say sorry" procedure.

Are you saying you also have a 3 year old child as well as a 2.5 yr old?

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colditz · 09/04/2006 10:20

i think sharing is very difficult to learn. I don't think we, as adults, would be very pleased at being expected to share as much as our children are.

EG, I wouldn't be pleased if my partner brought a couple home, and she started going through my make up , trying my shoes on etc. Then to be told off when I protested... it is hard to share, I think children deserve a lot of credit for sharing with good grace.

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mrsmaddyd · 09/04/2006 10:22

Suzywong old mate (its me formally cp3)

DD is 3 and half and Ds 2 and a half and im 18 weeks pg. Awfull year last year but on mend now.But i worry about everything it seems now.

Hope you are well and still loving Aus.

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mrsmaddyd · 09/04/2006 10:25

Your right Colditz. I remeber when little that sharing was the pitts.

I do give alot of praise to them when they share as it doesnt happen often. I think i need to relax more, shrug my shoulders and say ' kids, who'd have em '

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blueteddy · 09/04/2006 10:27

I am going through this with my DS (3 last month), he has developed a terrible temper & can be aggressive, even with his 6 year old brother.
I think it is quite normal at this age, although it does get you down.
It sounds like you are doing all the right things. I am sure he will soon grow out of it - I hope my DS does!

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suzywong · 09/04/2006 10:27

Oh hello dear!

Apart from this, how is dear little ds?

My dear little ds2 the same age as your dear little ds has recently grown out of this kind of thing and can now show real understanding of other people's situations and although there is the odd incident of sandpit-rage he generally just gets on with things, but I think as others have said, they just grow out of it as though a switch in their brain is turned on and they start to employ other strategies.

I've never been a big one for "say sorry" though - too confusing IMO

Australia is pretty good apart from living in a tiny house with MIL and the lack of Boots stores and H&M, thanks for asking

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mrsmaddyd · 09/04/2006 10:40

I adore him, hes the best thing that ever happened. Makes me laugh every day and infruitaes me at the same time. All normal i surpose. Very rewarding little chappie who adores Bob the Builder

The next is a boy too si i learning of him so im fully prepared next time.

Ill take on board what you say about apologising and not make a big thing of it and see how it goes.

Do you get on well with the MIl, is she a help to you? Id miss Boots too! But id miss English Tv the most i think. If you need anything posted over just ask.