My baby is 3 months today, weighs 14lb and measures 65cm.She is bottle fed and the HV says she is totally fine and just will be a big baby. I have never been bothered how people look etc and I am quite happy with the way she is as long as she's happy and healthy, which she seems to be. However, I am growing increasingly irritated at people commenting on her size and appearance. It seems as though people can say what they like about babies. Yesterday I took her into work and people said "God, she's massive, what are you feeding her?" Everywhere I go, people comment on her size, so it's not just one or two. I get sick of all the comparisons people make as I think all babies are different. How have other people dealt with this? Does it make you cross and defensive? What have you responded with to fend off the negative comments?
Rant number 2! I'm also sick of my mil going on about how much she looks like her daddy. It's not that I don't want her to, it's that I'm sick of mother in law going on about it. She actually said the other day "You know she looks nothing like you, she's just the double of her daddy and everyone thinks so". I felt really hurt, like I've just carried her for 9 months and now she's nothing like me.She also bought her babygrows which were 6 to 9 months and clearly far too big for her as she's "a big baby" I'm quite shocked at how irritated and hurt I feel about these comments as I've always believed that commenting on people's appearance is shallow. Any tips for coping strategies would be appreciated. Thanks
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Does my baby look big in this?
shinyshilling · 06/04/2006 19:38
I know how you feel as i also get the same comments not that she big as in chubby but as she is "long" my Dd is nearly 3 months she is about 65cm & she weighs about 13lbs, they come in all shapes,sizes & lengths 
I just say ignore the people who cares what they think as long as you know that your baby is fine 
shiny shilling you honestly could be me. DD is 15 weeks and nearly 15 lb. She is the image of her father and everybody yes everybody comments that she is nothing like me. Even the doctor whilst still in operating room after c section commented well mr x there is certainly no need for a DNA test.
Do you know what I just smile and say well she certainly moans like her father. by the way I have just had my MIL stay for three days while DH is working away and she actaully referred to DD as her little bruiser
As for 6 -9 months my DH is 6ft7 so my dd is very long and has been in 6 - 9 months babygrows and vest for a couple of weeks now.
We should be proud we have healthy thriving babies and not worry what people say.
I'm another one with a big baby, my DD has just turned 1 and is nearly 29lbs. All the comments do get annoying - but I just keep telling myself how lucky I am to have such a healthy bouncing baby.
As for your MIL, try and let it wash over you! Actually you are quite lucky that she is buying clothes a size too big - at least your baby will grow into them. My MIL persists in buying things that are the "right" size, i.e. 12-18 months, which are clearly too small. DD is now in 2-3yrs! I've told her many times to buy the next size up, at least - she looks all disappointed when I say it won't fit, as if it's somehow my fault that DD is so big!!
This made me laugh. My ds ws big (over 11 lbs at birth) Can't remember his weight at 3 months. But still above 98th centile.
I however, used to get upset if people didn't comment on how big he was! I was rather proud of myself for producing such a big strapping baby! And wanted people to congratulate me on such a good job!
I wonder if it is becasue she is a girl. I noticed my job share had a big girl and didn't seem to like me commenting on her size much 
both my boys are big but my husband is 6ft 3 and very broad and people are always commenting on their size/thinking they are older/asking what i feed them. I am used to this and know that they are just healthy strapping boys but was pissed off at playgroup the other week when I was changing ds2's nappy one of the mums started making comments about the size of his legs and laughing and then got all the other mums to 'come and look'! Actually when DH was born he was 10lbs 8oz which was even rarer in those days and he was visited like a circus freak in the hospital by people who had come to see the 'huge baby'
Hya - heard the same two comments for the first 9 months of DD life - what are you feeding her, MIL suggested that I put her on a diet because she didn't want a fat grandchild - this coming from a clinically obese woman! For 6 months she was exclusively BF (good milk )
At first DD was on the 91st percentile - she was 9lbs and 9ozs at birth, but now a year later she's on the 9th percentile and it looks like she is going to be a 'small' person. DH family are all short.
Now I'm getting comments that 'you'll need to feed her up' and what a shame she looks less like daddy - just as well really.
I just grin and bear and keep out of the way. I know i'll never 'win' with DH family, but they are all freaks anyway.
Your darling baby is perfect. They will be the shape that they are just as we all are.
You have tio jsut ignore it. I lost track of dd in soft play when she was only 2 and had a (large) lady come up and said are you the mother of the chubby little girl. I really felt like saying yes and are you the fat woman who found her?
it's even more annoying when your child actually isn't big trust me. dd has never been more than 50th centile for weight and always tall for her age yet dp's family don't shut up about what a 'fine fat baby' she is. last week dp's dad called her 'a grand stocky child' and at the health check 2 days later the doctor said she was actually slightly below average....grrrrr
as for looking like daddy, mine doesn't, looks just like me and everyone says so. starting to feel quite bad for dp as everyone blurts it out as soon as they see her. it doesn't bother him but i know it would bother me so i defend him and say 'well she's got her daddies eyes' which makes him laugh every time. (she has a weird miss match of both our eyes actually)
shinyshilling. when these a&holes are making these comments, just think to yourself 'p8ss off you old interfereing croney'. i promise you you will feel instantly better
Tell her the fat genes must have skipped a generation. That might shut her up.
Nah, really I would ignore her. I get this all the time with my very big ds's. Someone even said he walks like a sumo wrestler once! Which he does but hey that's not the point! If you can, rise above it and try not to let her get to you.
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It's just the same if you have a small ojne I can tell you, everyone thinks they have a right to comment. It's an old MN story by now, but I (think?) you're newish so i'll tell it anyway... DS1 was very small at birth (5 lbs and a bit) and normal length so he looked like he was starving. Anyway some old lady asked me in Wilkinsons 'Is he going to live?'
People are stupid and babies seem to be public property. which'd be fine (to an extent) if the same people didn't then write in to Teletext or The Daily mail bleatinga bout how Mums these days get it so easy blah de blah de blah and they don't see why their pubs should have changing mats / shops should have no mums parking / planets should be inhabited by anyone under the age of 65.
I'd also not worry too much about the MIL- they're generally another species anyhow. Trust me, my kid looked nothing like his daddy (oh yeah? so how come complete strangers stop me and say 'that man over there has to be your children's Father')... so much so she asked to see the birth certificate!
it's built into us to be defensivce about our kids. Mother Nature doesn't know wat'll happen in the future: disabled kids, food shortages, pestilence, henceforth she makes us protective, competetive and sometimes very defensive. It's a sign of being a good Mum.
i know how you feel! my ds (11 months) has always been big, he was on the 98th percentile for his weight until just recently but he is long as well. The amount of people who call him big, bruiser, chubby - some of them total strangers!
the worst was dh's family, who decided because his hair was a light strawberry blond, it would be appropriate to call him butch dingle
also, when dh's auntie commented on how wasn't it funny how all the boys in the family look so much like their dads, fil replyed with 'thank f**k for that'!!!!!
i just swear in my head and dig my nails in my palms
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