development in my 2 yeah old - learning difficulties

[laurajdickson]

hi. my son is 2yr 8months. he reached all his physical milestones at the right ages and was very vocal in the babbling sense. I started to become worried when he was nearing 2 and he wasn't talking much.I have always felt he is very 'babyish' but always excused it because he was very young and to me he was still a baby. things like when I left him anywhere I'd try to encourage him to wave but he never ever did. he only started doing that very recently. if he's amongst other kids for example a party he always felt like the youngest one there as he was just wandering around not really joining in anything. looking backhe pprobably wasn't the youngest at all. when I was concerned about his speech because at 2 he only said a few words and definitely didn't put any together to form a sentence. I asked my hv for a referral. he has just started going to a speech therapist but other things that concern meare he fdoesn't appear to answer direct questions even though I know he can say the answer e.g. car. the times he has answers (what colour is thomas? blue) I feel like he gas learned the answer and doesn't necessarily understand I'm asking things, if that makes sense. he does like to play alone especially with his trains or cars. he will lie abduction watch the wheels moving for ages. he doesn't appear to go in to a 'zone' and he does make perfect eye contact. I asked the hv for a chat to discuss his development and my concerns he has some sort of condition. she asked me to fill in questionnaires and she did admit he has scored quite low. she also said she believes he has learning difficulties but cannot tell what as yet. she did say if we can bring on his speech it may make a massive difference. she has asked for a nursery nurse to visit once a week to assess him and do educational stimulation with him. he will then be referred to the development team. I am just wondering if anyone else has a child like this? ? I convinced myself he has aspergers or autism. it is so confusing because the hv agreed some if his traits are textbook symptoms but other things he does aren't at all. he is fine with change and his eye contact is great. I guess I feel like he acts like a year younger then he is...I can't help but compare him to other kids his age. sorry for the ling post....feeling bit upset and worried and would love to hear from others. I constantly hear 'don't be so silly there's nothing wrong with him' ifI try ttalk to my parents about it. my husband feels the same as me and I guess we would know more than others. thanks x

[laurajdickson]

just to add- his speech has improved but the most words he will put together is' I want cuddle' or something like that. he would never have imaginative play and pretend to be anything like a monster or anything. x

[madwomanintheattic]

Laura, post on the special needs board as well, not just behaviour/ development.

There are billions of kids like yours x

[laurajdickson]

thanks I'm new to this and posted late last night - should have really looked. xxx

[lljkk]

1. please post in paragraphs next time
   
   
2. he could merely be speech delayed combined with immature. I have one like that. But you need outside opinions from people who have met him.

[laurajdickson]

lljkk-
when I posted on here I was looking for similar stories to mine and hoping to hear the outcomes from them. I didn't expect to receive advice on how to write a post nor for someone to state the obvious of getting outside opinions. I have stated in my post I have discussed my son with my hv and he is being looked at. I also wrote the post late last night on my phone after searching the net for hours anxiously trying to find stories of others. I apologise if writing in paragraphs was the last thing on my mind. maybe you could be a little more sensitive to people, especially who are new and are quite clearly upset and worried about their child. I hope you don'trrespond to everyone in that tone.

[lljkk]

Laura: you are really going to struggle in online communities if you are that sensitive. MN is relatively pleasant place, especially considering it's not heavily moderated (places where everyone is forced to be nice). Don't go near Usenet, whatever you do.

[laurajdickson]

who said I was new to online communities? !? 'that sensitive' is pretty acceptable in my book when I am concerned about my child and clearly extremely emotional. you know nothing about me. I am quite baffled why you even bothered typing your reply when you had nothing of any value to say other than' write in paragraphs'. oops I've done it again haven't i? deary me. I hope the online community policy aren't reading this. :)) have a lovely day now.

[Journey]

lljkk - your post was very insensitive. Picking up on trivial things such as paragraphs when a mum is concerned about her dc is unnecessary.

I have no advice to offer the op apart from saying that talking to professionals such as the speech and language therapist may help to reassure you about your ds's speech. The norms at the age can vary quite a bit even although you may not think so when you hear other dcs of a similar age.

[MaMattoo]

You seem to be on track with getting advice and help. As the mum of a 2.5 yr old all I can say is milestones are approximately in place for guidance and take them with a pinch of salt. At this age and stage they catch up quite quickly and i often find that he makes great progress and is a lot more independent and vocal at nursery than he is when around me. Yes he talks a lot but he does not do all the other things his age group do, at home, without supervision.they learn by watching and imitating.
Don't know if that helps...

[MaMattoo]

And really - paragraphs is all you could come up with???
OP please ignore such insensitive and rude comments on MN. There are lovely people around to guide, advise and provide a gentle hand to hold.

[adoptmama]

My DD sounds very similar in terms of speech. At 2.4 she had only 6 single words. She now does sentences (2.10 years) but only if forced. She also doesn't like eye contact when being asked to speak (at other times it is fine; is your DS's eye contact ok at other times?) and she will try to use all non vebal communication methods possible before speech. It is getting better but I do really have to insist on her making verbal responses, even though it is already clear what she wants from the pointing and foot paddling. No advice really. Crossing fingers for you that you get some answers as to the cause of the delays and that speech therapy helps you.

[LeMousquetaireAnonyme]

Laura DD2 is 2.9 and has speech delay. She made huge progress since september since she started playschool (full time 8h30 till 14h). Her speech is still very muddle she puts 3 words together with no grammar, but it is a start.
Would you consider (can you afford?) doing that?

She pointed late (after 2), screamed her head of if an other child her age went close to her (this has now stopped), still refuses to sit for a story. But she is a loving, very funny, extremely active little girl.

She also uses loads of non verbal communication which the pediatrician is very happy about.
For the moment the doctor is happy to wait and puts it to lack of interest and immaturity.

[laurajdickson]

thanks everyone. my son goes to private nursery two days a week. his carers have never expressed any concern but today I made them aware of my worries so they can keep an eye on him. sometimes I am surprised at the things my son knows, I heard him count to 8 in the bath the other day. the pronunciation was a bit off but I didn't realise he could even count. I think he has a lot in his head he just can't explain or get them out properly. x

[mummytime]

I would go to your GP, not HV and ask for an assessment from a paediatrician (preferably one who knows all about ASD etc.). Not because it sounds as if there is anything majorly wrong, but because if you are worried then that is a reason to get something investigated further.

To me it doesn't sound as if there is anything that wrong (although someone else who posted did use key words that would trigger my worry instinct). But I am someone on the internet, I do not see your child day after day, in lots of different settings. You do, so if you are concerned push to get that assessment.

[baublesandbaileys]

to me he just sounds like the slower end of normal! Your concern sounds similar to a lot of mums of boys I know who are the last of their peer group to get things but do catch up

someone's kids has to be the last of their age group to get things in a group of normal spectrum kids.

[lingle]

other things that concern meare he fdoesn't appear to answer direct questions even though I know he can say the answer e.g. car. the times he has answers (what colour is thomas? blue) I feel like he gas learned the answer and doesn't necessarily understand I'm asking things, if that makes sense

all very familiar - we are just coming out of the woods here at 7. A lot of people wouldn't be able to make the distinction you're making between the way he communicates and the way you'd like him to communicate so you're obviously on the ball. It's tempting to have a list of words he "can say" rather than a list of things he can actually communicate about (I should know, I only abandoned the list when DS2 was 4 and it reached 1000, but some of the examples I included were fairly pitiful).

Have a look at the book "It Takes Two to Talk". It's expensive - see if the speech therapist will lend it to you or order it from the library (but do it now).it's published by hanen and the cheapest online source is winslow publications. And it's really really worth it if what you want to do is use the best techniques to bring his language on (go without shoes for a year to buy it....)
PS I'm sure the paragraphs lady meant no harm.

[ElBandito]

A lot of children don't know their colours by this age so he may not really know or understand that Thomas is blue.

Maybe try acting the fool a bit and ask easier questions. "I can't remember is thomas a train or a car?"

If he knows and likes numbers try talking about Thomas being number 1. If he knows other numbers and watches a lot of Thomas talk about the other engine numbers.

My DS was behind with speech and some other areas, he was probably ahead in others but if they aren't speaking it can be hard to tell!

I can't comment really on the other points you raise but at least he is talking and answering you need to find ways to prompt more dialogue.

A book called "it takes two to talk" is really good at showing parents how to encourage talking.

Praise for talking is also very important so a very enthusiastic "well done DS that was good talking" can also help.

[ElBandito]

Also has he had a hearing test?

Cross post with Lingle. I bought "it takes two" because of you

[BackforGood]

Another opinion can be sought at the Nursery if he is there twice a week. Ask to speak to the SENCo there (Special Educational Needs Co-ordinator) and ask them if they can do some observations and fill in a developmental profile, and then if you can have a meeting about if any of your concerns are also noted by them. If they are not sure, then they can ask their Area SENCo or Inclusion Officer.
It sounds though as if you are already getting 'in the system' with the SaLT and the Nursery Nurse. They too will be able to contribute to the 'picture' once they've had chance to get to know him.

[TowMater]

Hi,
You definately need to see your GP and get a referral to a paediatrician who can assess your son more fully. It sounds like he is talking a bit, but a referral of speech therapy may make a big difference there. Also, look up ICAN, it's a charity for speech and communication needs, and they have lots of wonderful advice.
My DS was a late talker, and I got HV involved very early on as I had similar concerns about him as you have about your son. To be honest HV can be a bit rubbish if children do have any developmental problems. My DS (now 4) has been assessed by a paediatrician, ed psych, etc and they confirmed that he is developmentally delayed by 12 months. You need to trust your Mum instinct, and if you think that you need support and assessment for him then push to get it. If you would like to PM me, then I'd be happy to talk more about what you can do/where to go for support.

[TowMater]

Oh, and I am appalled that lljkk saw fit to comment on the structure of your post, insensitive doesn't even come close to describing it.

[lingle]

"Cross post with Lingle. I bought "it takes two" because of you "

on my death-bed I'll be thinking "well I may not be the world's best lawyer but I least I left a legacy of lots of parents buying "It Takes Two to Talk""

go easy on lljkk - she just meant it's easier to help someone when you can read what they're saying easily. It wasn't a random pedants' corner attack.

[laurajdickson]

will definitely get the book thanks very much.

it probably wasn't a random attack, but the response I received after challenging wasn't the nicest 'you are going to struggle if you are that sensitive' pretty shitty response to someone who clearly is extremely sensitive when worrying about their child.

ta x

[lingle]

Oh I know Laura but when you don't mean to attack and then get told you've attacked it's a horrible feeling....becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and all that.