Temper/anger/bad behaviour 5 year old

[Deborah1985]

Hi there,

Iv just joined mums net as iv been told I may be able to find some help here.

I have a little girl who is 5 and just started school this year. I also have a son who is 1.

Over the last few months my daughters behaviour has become conserning. She has developed a severe attitude... Almost seems very angry at times. She shouts and screams at both me and her dad and also her little brother at times. She will say pretty mean things when she is having a tantrum, she throws herself around screaming, this can go on for ages.she will later apologise but then a few hours later she throws another tantrum.( not a typical kids tantrum In my opinion, it happens so often and they are really bad).
She never does anything she is asked to do... Infact she will do the opposite.
At bed time she very rarely goes to sleep without a steaming match.
She is very huffy and everything had to be her way or she throws a big tantrum.
We have difficulty getting her to do her homework, and everytime we even need to go shopping this is an ordeal as she plays up so bad in the shops...running away of throwing yet again more tantrums in the middle of the shop.
We have tried a behaviour chart, but her behaviour has not improved.
I just don't know what to do. Her behaviour is really taking its toll on her dad and me and we are really struggling with her.
Does anyone have any hints or tips on how we can get the tantrums or bad attitude to stop?

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much in advance xxx

[Shelium]

how do you communicate within your house? Is there lots of shouting, or impatience from the adults? (not criticising, and don't feel you need to answer, it might just be something to watch out for)

how do you deal with her tantrums?

has she always been like this, or has school exacerbated it?

what time does she go to bed?

is there a particular time of day this most often happens? Or any times it definitely does not happen?

[Deborah1985]

Hi there,,
In the house we try to be as calm as possible. I will admit that the more often these tantrums are happening the more I'm finding it hard to be patient with her, I'm trying very hard not to let her see that tho.

When she has a tantrum I do tend to give into her requests in the end as she just keeps screaming until she gets her own way... I don't know what else to do.

She has only been this bad since starting school... But at school her behaviour is fantastic.

She normally goes to bed about 7.40/8 o'clock.

There is no perticular time . The more tired she is the more often her behaviour is bad. But it's any day at any time she can just go into a spat of screaming

[Tgger]

Ah, don't give in! Big mistake!

What you need is consistent rules and boundaries (like they have at school). And consequences if she behaves badly- ie breaks the rule/oversteps the boundary.

She will actually thank you for it and your house will be calmer.
Good luck!

[tigersmummy]

Watching with interest as we have DS nearly 5 whose behaviour has got worse recently due to moving house/starting school/new sister. He throws tantrums, screams and pushes boundaries constantly. At school he seems happy to be there according to the teachers, although I'm certain he's still settling in and finding it all a bit overwhelming, but struggles to listen or concentrate. His behaviour seems worse at the weekend, especially a Saturday, which is so sad for everyone. Yesterday DH got so upset at it all he cried which is more distressing than the actual behaviour. We took him to see a chiropractor 10 days ago as we heard that simple unalignment in the body can cause problems and were delighted when it seemed to work immediately. He has been back for another appointment which went equally well but you then question it when you have a bad day.

Perhaps a chiropractor would be worth a visit? It is so frustrating when you see your beautiful child behaving in a way that it either not them or not what you envisaged when you embarked on this parent journey. We have found in the past that consistency is key: carrying out consequences however inconvenient it is for you and the family will soon teach them that you can be trusted to so what you say you will do. Trouble is we don't often continue with it when he's had a run of good behaviour!!!

Goo luck and I will watch this with interest

[arista]

Hi Deborah, just wanted to say have a look at a book called Fed up by Sue Dengate. It tells you how certain foods affect your child behaviour. worth a try.