how to get DD to care??

[iloveweetos]

Not so sure if i'm just expecting far too much from my DD (5 yo in Feb)
she isn't the naughtiest child, but when talking to her about her actions and behaviour, she will either not listen or just not care. She had seemed to be settling into school and liking our new area, since moving cities and starting reception. But more recently, no matter what i say to her, its as though she can walk all over me. I've brought in 'Happy Family Rules' which whilst we were making the rules, she broke 2 of them! But then said to us 'im SO sorry' very insincerely. she went on the naughty step but its just like nothing to her. as soon as she got off she was off doing what she wanted without actually acknowledging that she had done anything wrong. Then she goes to her dads fortnightly and gets away with everything and comes back even worse!
Today in the car, she dropped her bracelet on the floor and asked if i could get it. i said to her 'i will get it when the car has stopped because it is dangerous to take my seatbelt off' she replied 'i want my bracelet' i then said 'would u rather mummy gets hurt just so you can get your bracelet back?' to which she replied Yes.
She must know what she has said is wrong?
Ive spoken to her and explained how what she said is not very nice.
But its like nothing has happened!!! she says sorry and thinks its ok, just as long as she says sorry.
Am I being totally ridiculous? Just seems like she doesn't care about behaving or hurting someones feelings etc :(

[Goldenjubilee10]

I think you are expecting too much. The fewer rules you have the better, only sweat the big stuff. Re the bracelet incident - I would have said " I'll get it when the car stops". If she had continued then I would have repeated or ignored.

[Tazmosis]

I think this is normal for 5 - I remember my DD's being a bit like this. I wouldn't worry and as Golden says limit the rules and pick your battles.

[Flojo1979]

You're right she doesn't care.
But that's because she doesn't have the maturity to care.
All kids develop differently.
For most kids, unless it directly impacts upon them then they don't care, some right through to teenagers!
Don't ask questions like that, I've made the mistake a few times when I've been caught off guard and invariably got told to go away, or it doesn't matter if I get hurt or die as someone else will look after me.

[iloveweetos]

Hi sorry bout not getting back to this!! I'm beginning to ignore some of the things (well trying -cant help being sensitive lol)
Here's hoping we get there.
Do children just grow out of this stage?

[CollieEyeOfNewt]

I really hope so weetos. My DS will be 5 in a few days & he behaves exactly like your DD. He doesn't care much at all, only when he behaves so badly I remove a toy for a week, then it's all "I'm sorry, I'm sorry".

It's driving me insane. He was really well behaved and chains up until he started reception. Fortunately his teacher says he's superbly good at school, so he's saving his bad behaviour for home, which is at least something, but Grrrrrrrrr!

[CollieEyeOfNewt]

*chains up??? Charming was the word I meant!

[Flojo1979]

Apparently so.
If u have a spare moment, take a look at 'piaget' or 'kohlberg' theorists on moral development. I found it very interesting.

[iloveweetos]

Lol chains up!
Will deffo read up along with DP and report back! Thank you so much x

[Doitnicelyplease]

Happy to read this thread, my DD 4.3 sounds similar - it is all about her and she is so impatient for me to get something/help her/meet her demands. She has also started saying "okkkkkay I guess I'll have to say sorry then" in the most infuriating 'couldn't care less' voice - drives me mad!

[iloveweetos]

Haha kids!! Now I've read up on it and read that alot of children are this way, I feel abit more relaxed about her behaviour now lol been a stressful few months but can't wait til she's 6-7 ;) lol

[LaCiccolina]

6 or 7???

I didn't give much of a thought to consequences til I was in mid 20s....

[iloveweetos]

Haha come to think of it...me too!!!!