Co-sleeping - does it have to be long term?

(15 Posts)
broodylicious Thu 08-Nov-12 06:43:40

We are having a truly awful time of things with our 7 month old dd. She just will not sleep for longer than an hour at a time in her cot and every night ends up with her sleeping on DHs chest downstairs on the sofa. This has been going on for four months and I'm truly exhausted and actually suspect I would be diagnosed with pnd if I saw the doctor.

We are not prepared to even try CIO or CC so were wondering if co sleeping was the way forward. Seeing as it's been kind of happening anyway, albeit on the sofa. Our bed isn't very big so i had thought of blowing up the airbed and then having dds mattress by the side so she can see me and touch me. Would that work as a set up do you think?

We only want this to be a temporary measure though so would we be setting ourselves up for an even bigger nightmare when it comes to her moving back into her cot in her own room? I had read another thread where one dc had decided at 11 months she was ready to sleep alone as she started self soothing and going longer spells when mummy wasn't next to her.

I appreciate co sleeping isn't for everyone and I don't want to spark up that debate or the fact we are not trying CIO - although I'm clearly crap at helping my dd to sleep, I do know this parenting thing is very personal and everyone has their own thoughts on what's right or wrong.

llamallama Thu 08-Nov-12 06:49:23

Bring her into your bed and co sleep safety. Much better and safer than your DH on the sofa.

It doesn't have to be forever, we co-slept for a few months when our DD was the same age, now at 13 months she is in her own cot all night, no CC or CIO here, it just all happened naturally when she was ready.

llamallama Thu 08-Nov-12 06:50:15

Also...we only have a standard double but all 3 of us for no problem! Get a bed guard!

HappyAsASandboy Thu 08-Nov-12 06:56:02

I would get a bed guard and bring her into bed with you.

I coslept/cosleep with my twins from when try we're 4 months ish. They start the night in their cots, then the first time they wake in the night, I bring them into bed with us. DS has started sleeping through most nights now, so he stays in his cot. DD still wakes a few time, sometimes just enough to reach out an check I'm there, so she is in the bed most nights.

To be honest, I feel like I am absolutely doing the right thing for my DD. if she want to reach out and hold someone's hand in the night, I want her to have someone there. I know how lonely it can be when you just want someone there in the night and the other side of the bed is empty.

MrsHowardRoark Thu 08-Nov-12 07:36:00

I co-slept with my DD until she was 9 months and then for the next few months she would start off in her cot and come into my bed during the night. She is now one and has just started sleeping throughout the night.

It doesn't have to be forever but can help you all get some sleep.

rrreow Thu 08-Nov-12 17:06:17

Big fan of co-sleeping myself. We did until DS was about 12 months. Then we transitioned him into a cot (still in our room though). It was tough to transition him to the cot when we decided we wanted our bed back, but that's nothing compared to trying to get him to sleep by himself before he was ready.

If co-sleeping works for you and your DD then I'd definitely give it a try. When it comes to things like this sometimes you have to think on a short term basis (i.e. getting YOU some sleep!) and sort out anything else later.

I really disagree with all the 'rod for your own back' naysayers, especially when it comes to a very young baby who just wants comfort. There is no 'perfect' way or 'right time' when it comes to sleeping. Just do what works!

feekerry Thu 08-Nov-12 17:44:02

Worked great

feekerry Thu 08-Nov-12 17:46:53

Doh..... For us. Co slept for 5 months till ddi started sleeping thru and moved to her own cot very easily. If she's unsettled etc i still bring her in with us and she has no prob going into her cot the next night

<hard stare at 4.9yo dd1>

Sorry smile

broodylicious Thu 08-Nov-12 19:21:36

Thanks all. I think we are going to give it a whirl as we want to do anything to avoid the CIO route that everyone loves to tell me is the be all and end all way to get your child to self soothe and feel confident in sleeping angry I know I will love having her next to me and see those big eyes in the morning!

So what's the technique for not rolling on her? What position do I need to be in myself? We will be getting a bed guard on Saturday.

MrsHowardRoark Thu 08-Nov-12 20:19:13

I've found that you just won't roll onto her. At 7 months she's big enough to let you know if you do get too close!

I always slept on my side with my knees tucked up so she couldn't move down the bed and had the duvet by my waist.

I sleep halfway down the bed so that even if I pull the duvet up round my neck it doesn't go anywhere near her. I also tuck it in under me. If I were to roll over, which I never have in nearly 5 years, the only thing that would roll on top of her would be my head.

The other thing I do is hook my finger onto her sleeping back or something so that if she majorly moves I wake up too, although I usually wake up anyway.

I also co-sleep with my 9 month old, the above isn't for the benefit of the 4 year old. She just sleeps on top of me any which way hmm smile

sleeping bag

AngelDog Thu 08-Nov-12 21:04:38

This leaflet shows the position most mothers naturally adopt when co-sleeping.

I didn't properly co-sleep with now 2.10 y.o. DS1 till he was 11 months as I didn't want to co-sleep long term and was terrified about starting a habit which would be hard to break. With hindsight I wish so much I'd started sooner. And I loved it so much that he slept in with me till DS2 was born 3.5 weeks ago (he'd be there still if me dealing with DS2 didn't disturb him - now DH co-sleeps with DS1 in the spare room and says he wishes he'd had a turn at it from a much earlier age).

broodylicious Fri 09-Nov-12 07:02:20

We gave it a little try last night and I think it's going to suit us all gringrin As we've not got a bed guard yet, we didn't want to go the whole night so we tried it when she woke at 1030 and I stayed awake til she woke again...... At 12!! That is major progress!! I think she may have only woken then because I'd started fidgeting with the duvet and had moved my arm that her head was resting on.

I really hope this is the solution.... Fingers crossed!! [showers and dresses and sprints to mothercare to await opening to buy the guard wink]

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