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Behaviour/development

Socialising at 21 months

3 replies

catflap · 31/03/2006 23:40

Apologies if I am repeating something frequently discussed - I have had a good search of the site tonight but can't find anything...

How much does/did your little ones socialise at around this age?

How much do you think is important?

When do you think it becomes particularly important to their social development?

dd is 21 months and we go out all the time - to the library for book borrowing and rhyme time, to Tumble Tots, to Kindermusik, to indoor playcentres, to visit friends of mine (who have younger babies), swimming etc etc and usually see the same mums and toddlers of the same age and dd is quite friendly and sociable and loves other little ones BUT she rarely has time with children her own age to just play and share toys etc.

I am getting paranoid that I am doing her a serious disservice by her missing out on sharing, taking turns, enjoying the company of other little ones in an informal setting.

I know the easy answer is to go to a toddler play group which I am hoping to do after Easter but as it isn't something we regularly do, I find it hard in those situations to fit into established friendship groups and develop any particular friendships - for dd, not me. Well, me as well, but that doesn't bother me!

I have met up in the houses of mums/babies from our post-natal group in the past, but it seems this year, the particular group have been doing this together that I have been finding out about after the event. Most of them were in the same ante-natal group and it seems I might have lacked that history to become a fully-fledged group member...

Are my insecurities and my paranoia well founded or should we just continue as normal and all will be ok?

Some reassurance would be great, please! How much socialisation do your LOs get and of what sort??

Thanks!

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threebob · 01/04/2006 01:17

Doesn't Kindermusik have aspects which would be taking turns (which I view as essential before you can "share" something). Does she ever have to wait to have her books issued, get a chaging room at the pool? You can complement her good waiting etc. at these times.

And your friends with babies - well in a years time they will have toddlers and your 3 year old daughter will get plenty of sharing practise.

I wouldn't worry about it - all this sharing and socialising is often more stress than the good it does. if you are going out heaps and mixing with a wide range of people then you are doing enough.

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Caththerese1973 · 01/04/2006 04:24

Wouldn't worry too much. My dd is 3 and has only had limited exposure to other kids. Recently she started daycare one day a week and the carer reports that she is a little shy, prefers to play by herself, but is not aggressive or anything. Although I had to laugh: on way home last time dd admitted to having a fight with another kid over a toy!
Between two and three possessiveness and even aggression is pretty much standard for toddlers. And I have noticed that they don't seem to actually play with eachother that much until they are over two. So I don't know if there's much point in trying to 'socialise' a kid under two unless you need to have him minded so you can go to work or whatever. Lots of time with adults is good for them to, so long as you chat and play - my dd is always startling people because having spent so much time chatting with me, she's a very grown up conversationalist!

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catflap · 01/04/2006 22:02

Thanks - that's great. All comments make sense and I shall quit worrying!

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