Is it OK for 8yr-old to do *no* after school activities?

[Fullmoonfiend]

Is my ds the only one out there? He's done swimming for a couple of years but now declares he wants to stop.
In the past 4/5 years we have tried football, drama, Beavers and he just doesn't want to do anything. He's fairly popular and pretty sociable but just seems to hate group activities.
Trouble is, it's hard to invite his mates home to play as they all have so many activities! I worry about his social development etc.
I'm all for kids having chill out time and downtime after school, I just wonder if it's entirely healthy to do nowt :)
Should I be gently pushing him into doing stuff or should I give in gracefully to the fact that he'd rather be at home playing with his brother or playing computer games?

[MarsOnLife]

Very good for them to do nothing. Keep asking his mates, as your DS is home one of them is bound to be free at least once a week

[Sparklemagic]

Maybe it's more difficult for boys if they don;t fancy group stuff - I had an obsession with ballet and wild horses wouldn't keep me away!

I wouldn't exactly worry about it as he may develop an interest in something as the years go on.

But personally I think just one evening activity out of the house would be pretty healthy actually. If he doesn't fancy group activities, fine - not everyone is a group person so I don't see why kids should be just cos they are kids! Perhaps you could go swimming as a family? Or do an activity as a family? It's time out of the house at least when he's mixing with others.

Don't know what you've got locally but some ideas might be: indoor ski-ing, climbing wall, horse riding, pottery class.

i think gently push for one thing a week and he will be fine.

[Fullmoonfiend]

I know Sparklemagic (keep thinking of Donnie Darko when I see your name for some reason) it's wierd for me as i was a huge activities person - music lessons, ballet horse riding, drama, art club - can you tell I had a crappy home life? :) And his little brother loves activities.
And I do veer towards him doing nothing Mars - just don't want to end up with an anti-social coach potato (like his dad )

[FrannyandZooey]

No, it's illegal.



Of course it's ok, it's very healthy and desirable for them to be mostly pottering around amusing themselves or even being bored. Learning to enjoy your own company and manage your own time is a hugely important life skill and one that is very difficult for children these days to pick up - they have no time!

[Fullmoonfiend]

It's just that he seems to be the only one I know (but then I do live in PushyParentVille where 2-yr-olds do french lessons and the average 8-yr-old collects more certificates in a year than I have achieved in 35 :) )

[FrannyandZooey]

Oh bleugh to them if they don't like it. I like Sparklemagic's idea of doing something once a week as a family, just to show that you enjoy activities and that it's not just something to get him out of your hair. However if none of you are keen, who cares? Maybe find hobbies he could pursue at home, music or art or something? But I think we worry far too much about them constantly filling their time constructively instead of mucking about - childhood should be nine tenths mucking about IMO!

[Fullmoonfiend]

Thanks peeps, ''childhood is for mucking about''
you are reinforcing what I inherently believe.
We do do stuff as a family (swimming on sundays, trips to castles, walks etc. And ds sees me going off gardening (he used to come too but...) doing arty stuff etc. Not to mention ''oh mum, you on that Mumsnet thing again!''
I'll stop being a fretful mum now. For a bit!

[Fullmoonfiend]

Ah, now that's one problem we do have MT, I have tiny garden and we live on a hideous main road so at the moment, don't feel he gets enough opportunity to just muck about outdoors. However, in the summer, the shed is getting 'converted' into a boys' den (with no electric power, aha!) So now he has outgrown the little trampoline and sandpit stage, at least he will have a 'space' to do boys stuff, whether it be reading comics, eating illicit sweeties or making explosives!