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Behaviour/development

Can't put baby down...help

16 replies

racheeeee · 20/02/2006 12:10

DS is 6 weeks old and demands to be held all the time. I can't put him down for a minute, he hates the vibrating chair, the swinging chair, the baby gym. The second I stop holding him, he screams and cries! I even have to bring him into the toilet with me! I am finding it hard to do anything and my arms and back are killing me! I have a baby bjorn carrier, but he cries in that also!

Does anyone have any advice!
Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
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bigbaubleeyes · 20/02/2006 12:46

BIG HUGS - YOU HAVE MY SYMPATHY

My DS was like this the first 4 or so. I was BF but swapped to bottles at 5wks - don't know how much this had to do with it.

I remember feeling like that too - you poor thing its very draining.

DS wouldn't sleep in his basket either but I perservered, DH and I camped out downstairs so we could have snacks and watched he TV thru the night - we also ate humble pie and gave hime a dummy which helped when he was going for it. We took turn to sit with basket and we kept our hand on him til he fell asleep - now he pretty much does it on his own.

We rushed out and bought a vibrating chair too for during the day so I could try and get a quick shower, we also have the other stuff - all I can say is I kept putting him in these new things for a couple of minutes every day and gradually he has got used to them. He is now 6wks & 3 days and he will stay in each for about 10 mins and self soothes to sleep (occasionally has a dummy when he's worked up)

Every morning I top n tail DS on mat on kitchen bench then leave him there next to me while I do his bottles, and kitchen jobs - yesterday I made soup and a casserole. If I go up stairs I put him in the middle of the bed while I do stuff. I chatter away to him all the time.

DS is my first I felt very scared that he was so clingy - DH has always been involved quite a bit as I had CS - is there anyone else who can nurse him for a while? When I was well enough to go out the car and buggy were excellent relief.

HTH i really feel for you but it WILL get better.

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merrymum · 20/02/2006 12:49

hi rach you are not alone my dd2 was also like this so different from my dd1. anyway i found that the only thing i could really do was let her cry for a little while. make sure he is somewhere safe and leave him for 5 mins i know it is heart renching to do this but if there is nothing wrong ie-nappy,hungry,thirsty etc then he'll be fine. also are you b/f ? if so then put some of your breast milk on one of your tops so it has your smell and put in his cot with him its like a comforter for him. hope this helps let us know how you get on xxxx

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lazycow · 20/02/2006 12:55

Does he cry when is being held or does he stop then?

You could try a different carrier (a sling one) babies sometimes find these more comfortable than the baby bjorn type carriers. Also he can sleep in it more easily. Sometimes very young newborn babies get overstimulated and find it hard to switch off. In a sling they are close to you but in a cosy closed off way. This may help a bit.

Other than that I'm not sure what to suggest - I know a lot of babies are like this though if it is any consolation (and it wasn't much to me at the time) they tend to get easier as they get older.

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mandymac · 20/02/2006 13:05

My dd was like this for a few weeks at this age - and I spent a lot of time walking round the park, as she would stop crying in a moving buggy (great for shifting that post baby weight too!). Sometimes if I left her shouting in the swing for a few minutes, she would eventually drop off for a nap (giving me a bit of time to grab a sandwich or run to the loo). It seemed to be a stage and it did pass, and the gym, chair and swing all found favour again.

Good luck!

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controlfreaky · 20/02/2006 13:09

hes still v little. his crying is the only way he can communicate his needs. things will settle down for you all but it is v hard and draining. my ds1 was like this. as others have said sling was only way often to calm him and get things done with free hands... cant remember brand but held him v close to body, face to my chest. think they like being "held" quite tightly near your heat / smell. also cranial osteopathy is magical for some babies.... good luck

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sweetkitty · 20/02/2006 13:14

My DD2 is like this shes nearly 4 weeks old and is only happy snuggled up to my boob. Complete nightmare as DD1 is 18 mo too. She was the same at this age and she did grow out of it fairly quickly so I know its a phase. DD2 is screaming in her moses basket right now and I'm typing one handed whilst eating some soup in 5 minutes!!!

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pascy · 28/02/2006 14:49

I really sympathize.Both my ds were the same, didn't know what to do, and they both had/have really loud voices!I found with my ds2 that most of the time, what he needed was a nap,so i would leave him to cry(awful feeling i know) and eventually, he would get himself off to sleep. I did make sure, however, that he was safe/dry/not hungry etc before i put him down.

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Mumatuks · 28/02/2006 15:01

racheeeee, how was your DSs birth? I've read stories how baby screamed when he was put down as the way he was born it had hurt his neck. His mum took him to the osteopath and they helped solve the problem. It turned out he was only comfy in the one posistion his mum held him in.

I've had first hand experience of osteopathic treatment with both my DS's. DS2 is very clingy, won't sleep in his cot, has to be next to me or in his pram (believe me I've tried him in his cot) It turns out the front of his head is quite narrow (not that you would look and see it) and his chest is tight as he was born with the cord round his neck. This is causing a little discomfort with the tightness. We're going for a second treatment today and he'll only need 4 in total hopefully.

I know this isn't for everyone, this is just my experience that I wanted to share in hope hat it will help you.

It must be so tiring and frustrating for you. I hope everything is well again for you and your DS soon.

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hunkermunker · 28/02/2006 15:06

My DS2 is also six weeks old (tomorrow) and loves being in the hugabub sling I have - it cradles him in a way the tomy carriers don't. He's in it at the moment, snug and fast asleep. I'm MNing in between kissing the top of his head and breathing his baby smell.

Try a wrap-type sling - I think babies can feel insecure in the legs and arms sticking out type of sling - but these are lovely. Or you could try a pouch or ring sling? They do look a bit "hippy" but they're lovely to wear.

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mrspink27 · 28/02/2006 15:18

My sympathies to. dd1 was like this and at the time i remember being at my wits end. Very tiring and frustrating for you. I agree with hunker about the sling type carrier, I even found that once dd1 had fallen off to sleep i could manouevre it off and lay her in it on the sofa with cushions all around, probably not what the HV would recommend but hey.... what evever gets you through! It does pass, for us it was when dd discovered she could reach out to jungle gym thing, and entertain herself. As a previous poster said if all else fails go out in the car or go for a walk. Sometimes just being out of the house where the pressure of 'stuff' was enough to get me through. Be a bit selfish to and make use of friends, relatives to ease your burden!
oh and another vote for osteopathy here to, it really helped both the dds.

Good luck.

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Daisymae · 29/03/2006 10:50

Please help, my sister's dd is 14 months old and cries unless she is picked up and carried around. She isn't crawling or moving on her bottom so could be frustration I suppose. You can't ignore the crying it is constant. My sister is on her own with the baby so its very hard on her. Can any one help?

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7up · 29/03/2006 11:21

daisymae, if your sis has got a lovely health visitor she could try leaning on her for support. my health visitor was fantastic with my then clingy ds, whos now 11. i would ring her at least twice a week and she would reassure me and tell me i was a good mum, i was also alone so know how hard and frustrating it is.

i think it could be frustration like you say, once shes moving around she'll be able to explore and be a lot happier. good luck to your sis and well done you for being a caring sis.x

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MrsWood · 29/03/2006 21:43

OH my god, our dd (now 2.8) was like that as a baby - rocker, mat, chairs, slings, swings - nothing would help. We had to hold her ALL the time. She never really stopped - we kind of got used to it, and continued. She only stopped when she could walk. Then she didn't "need" us anymore. Sorry, no advice there but just so you know, you're not alone. Good luck!

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rosycheek · 29/03/2006 23:15

Poor racheee, I feel for you sooooo much! Ds2 was very much like that was only quiet when being carried. Best thing was carrying in a baby sling, not like a baby borjn, one that goes across your shoulder and back (so it's easier on you) and babe snuggles right in, can even lie down and can breastfeed in it as well if you want.

Have a look here for Huggababy Sling \link {http://www.greenbabyco.com}









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rosycheek · 29/03/2006 23:16

Sorry -very dumb - link to Greenbaby site hasn't seemed to have worked! Address is there for you anyway!

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MrsDoolittle · 29/03/2006 23:17

You need a moby or a hugabub wrap sling. babybjorns are rubbish IMHO

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