Is there something wrong with my 2 year old?

[Gemma77]

Adam was 2 in January and I am becoming more and more worried about his behaviour.
He seems to become really upset when things are not in order.. for example, tonight one of his toys was on the 'wrong shelf' and it was as if it was the end of the world. We have examples like this every day, when crayons have not gone in the right box, when a toy animal has been left out of a bag, when his nursery bag is not on the coat hanger, when a spoon has not gone into the washing machine, when mummy or daddy hasn't taken their plate into the kitchen...
He has been biting at nursery for ages, at least a year. The nursery have even said they have never had a child bite as long as Adam does. We use time out and make it very clear biting is not acceptable and he always says sorry. The nursery have been good about it, but a few times they have said the biting has been unprovoked... but I am now starting to see a link with his strange behaviour. The other week he bit a boy and the nursery staff said it was for no reason. When I spoke to another member of staff she said it was because the little boy had sat in one of the babies chair. I wonder if in Adam's mind this upset him because he felt it was wrong? Also, he bit a little girl who keeps running from the baby section to the toddler section. He has bitten children at the lunch table (again apparently for no reason) but at home he gets upset if we dont put our cups on the mat so maybe although it seemed like there was no reason, something was 'wrong' in Adam's mind.
At first we laughed it off.. afterall shouldn't I be pleased to have a tidy child???.. but now I am worried it is a symptom of some illness.
Adam seems a perfectly normal 2 year old in every other way. He plays well with children (when not biting!) and seems quite bright (mastered shape sorters etc at 18mths) His language skills are very good (4 and 5 word sentances). Yes he sometimes hits and has tantrums, but not that often and he is a very affectionate boy.
Adam is my first child so I have nothing to compare too. Is this normal behavior for a toddler... do other children like such control and order in their lives?
Thank you for any help!
Gemma

[poppiesinaline]

Sorry have no idea but am bumping for you.

Although a friend of mine's first child was a bit like that - used to tidy shelves in the supermarket making sure all the lables faced the right way and got terribly upset if his day didn't run in the same 'routine' every day. If someone turned up to visit un-announced he used to have a complete turn. He is 8 now and she has seen a doctor because he is showing traits of obsessive compulsive disorder. The doc reckons 'it is within normal realms of behaviour'. she is not worried. And he is fine in every other way.

[7777777]

hi gemma, have you tried speaking to your health visitor? i cant advise im afraid, would have thought aspergers/autism but then you say hes very affectionate and i dont think autistic kids are very. i could be totally and utterly wrong of course

hope someone on here can advise bit better, good luck.

[Sparklemagic]

Gemma I think he sounds perfectly normal - 'sometimes hits and has tantrums' - that is ALL children!!! Also, with the biting, I know the nursery have said they have not had it go on so long before, but I really wouldn't worry. ALL children do things differently and learn at different times, and he's very very young, only just two. He's only just learning that things he does have an effect and he's not old enough to realise when things hurt others. NSPCC advice states that under two, children can't be deliberately naughty, because they act on the impulse of the moment basically.

Other people are always ready with their opinions, ie, on the biting going on for a long time, but remember it's just an opinion.

You say that he plays very well with others usually, so I'm sure he's just a normal little boy. He obviously likes routine alot and order, and alot of toddlers are like this, my son isn't so obsessed with tidiness but I do find he and lots of toddlers get very very bossy and want things done in the same way every time. my son still moves a picture back to where it was about a year ago, when he visits a friends house, because that's where he first saw it!

I really wouldn't worry, just keep an eye on the obsessiveness and seek help from GP if ever you feel it's stopping him from doing things he wants to do. One thing I have learned as a mum, probably the MAIN thing, is ACCEPT THEM! They are all different, in some ways all bizarre and quite loopy, and we save ourselves loads of worry if we simply accept them and their foibles. Basically if he's doing it, it's normal for him! It's only if it hurts him or others, or hinders his development in some way, that it's a problem. Enjoy your lovely boy.

[7777777]

see gemma, told you someone would have wiser words than me

[blueshoes]

My dd has episodes of unprovoked aggressive behaviour in nursery. Some boy could be walking past her minding his own business and she would pull him down to the floor by his jacket. It's mortifying especially since she is the littlest one in the room. After a few months, these incidents have subsided. Not particularly unusual 2 year old behaviour IMO.

[Gemma77]

Sparklemagic - that you so much for your reassurance!
Gemma

[kbaby]

I cant help personnaly but my friends little boy was the same at that age. He had to take his coat and hat off in the correct order and if anyone tried to do it differently he would freak out. He was the same about having to have thing is the right order.
Hes now 5 and seems to have grown out of it.