123 magic- does it work?

[IAmBooyhoo]

i bought this book after recommendations on MN. have only read a few chapters but tbh i dont know if it will have an effect on my ds. i can't cope with his behaviour. it disgusts me if i am honest. he swears at me, throws things, wrecks his room, hits his brother (very sneakily). screams and shouts in fits of temper when i discipline him. he is currently throwing things (not sure what) down the stairs after i threw a game in the bin when he swore at me for disciplining him after hitting his brother so hard he couldn't catch a breath for a few seconds. i am ignoring the throwing (is that the right thing to do? i dont know)

will 123 magic help?

[O2BNormal]

Yes it does, but like all these similar methods, you have to be absolutely consistent, absolutely every time. If you are, it will help quite quickly

Although his behaviour does sound extreme. How old is he?

[IAmBooyhoo]

he is 6. it is extreme. i feel like ringing my mum and asking her to take him for the night just so ds2 and i can have a night of no fighting. i just need it to stop. i cant go on having these tantrums several times a say. he is currently grounded from playing out the front because he ran away last week when i called him to come in. i dread what everyday is going to bring.

[O2BNormal]

I feel for you Booyhoo. Are you on your own with them? How does he behave at school?

[IAmBooyhoo]

yes on my own. he can have really great days at school and then some days where he wont focus and is disruptive. he has never hit or lashed out at school or swore but he does have trouble settling down to listen/work on some days.

[O2BNormal]

I'm no expert, but I know that book helped me and my DS1 tremendously. DS1 was never violent, but he was disruptive, stubborn and bad tempered.

If your mum would be willing to take one of them for a night or two maybe that's a good idea. Maybe it should be his brother though, to give you some quality time with your DS and make sure he gets lots of 121 attention from you, which must usually be difficult.

You could talk about the new "system" and see it as a new start for both of you, but like I said you must stick to it rigidly every single day.

[IAmBooyhoo]

she has offered to have them both tomorrow night. (she offered last week so before today happened) good idea about her having ds2 instead of ds1. i was just feeling that i needed a time-out from dealing with him (that sounds awful) but i wouldn't ask her to take him and not take ds2 as i think ds would see that as me sending him away. i would never want him to think i was choosing his brother over him.

i will read the rest of the book tonight and try to put it into practise. thank you.

[O2BNormal]

Good luck! It is great when you can cut bad behaviour off from the other side of the room just by raising the first of your 3 fingers (Can count on fingers without even having to speak which is useful in public)

[IAmBooyhoo]

thank you. i will need it.