how to encourage ds 2.3 to play more by himself

[lewislewis]

I am exhausted today and lost my rag with ds. I love playing with him most of the time, we play a lot and he amuses himself in dribs and drabs, once a day I put the telly on, try not to have it on for more than 45 mins because it makes me feel depressed. Question I wanted to ask is how can i enocourage him to spend more time alone/playing etc. If I do stuff without him for too long (not talking about cooking, i involve him in cooking, i am talking about reading a newspaper) he whinges, or starts to do stuff that he knows is not allowed. When we are out he is very independent though, and leaves me in peace....Help me please.

[Twiglett]

ignore him

get him something that will involve him like lego or cars or whatever he likes and just sit near him on a chair mumbling encouragement every so often

[SenoraPostrophe]

can't say for sure as I suspect mine are naturally independednt, but I am also naturally a bit lazy so it could be one of these things:


sometimes I get a toy out and just start to play with it. ds takes an interest and then I sneak off.

a different place also makes them both play more - even just the garden, or the bedroom if they don't usually play in there.


mind you, I say they're independent, but i never get to read more than a story or two in a paper. that's just one of the things about having kids.

[cori]

My DS started to play independently after he started preschool, just before his 3 rd birthday.

[lewislewis]

Maybe I am just asking too much, I do manage to read a couple of articles at a time, today I basically wanted at least 1.2 hour of uninterrupted time to myself! I do a lot of the mumbling encouragement whilst doing something else. Do you think 1/2 hour is toooo much to ask at this age? And without telly?

[Curmudgeonlett]

I think I'm like SenoraP

"I suspect mine are naturally independednt, but I am also naturally a bit lazy" ... me too

[spiderfan]

1/2 hour - no chance! At least not with mine (31/2 and 16 months). When they do play on their own/together it's their choice never on demand. I've just come to accept that's the way it is with my kids and I do think I'll reap the benefits later. In fact, I think I already am. Just means I'm knackered all the time and sometimes cross with them.

[blueshoes]

LL, my 2 yr old dd plays by herself (and other kids) in nursery. At home, she sticks like glue. Forget 0.5 hours, maybe 0.5 minutes if I am lucky.

I agree with spiderfan, it is just the way she is. Whilst it is very frustrating when they are young, but I believe it is a good thing when dd gets older, particularly when she is a teenager.

I am naturally lazy too - but no joy with dd. I don't believe you can "train" a child to play by themselves, if they were not ready, without potential damage to your relationship.

[bobbybob]

If he is fine when you are out then go out more and take the newspaper.