When should we fess up about Santa?!?

[rodeo1]

Sorry if this has been done before but....

My dd (age 6) asked dp the other day if Santa is real. He said "Yes" and now feels uncomfortable about what he said.

I'm not sure what I'd have said if she'd have come to me, think I may have dithered and then said "No".

I think if she's asked the question herself she can sense something fishy about it (she keeps saying things like 'I know the elves don't make the toys because they sell them in the shop' and about men dressed as Santa 'I know they're not Santa, they're just dressed up. So who are they? Santa's helpers?'

I asked the same question when I was 5, and my mum just said 'No, he's not real' and I was really disappointed, so I'm not sure about telling her just yet.

So do we tell yet or not?!

[JoolsToo]

as late as possible - mine were 10 ish

[Kelly1978]

I intend to wait until she doesn't believe me. Your dd is just testing, she will be dissapointed if you tell her he doesn't exist. My dd is 5, and she knows toys are in the shops and she nows that we, and her grandparents buy her presents, but she still believes firmly in father christmas. I'm really not sure when he fits in, but she def belives. She hasn't realised that there are lots about neither yet! I want her to stay innocent as long as poss.

[GREATauntymandy]

NEVER!!!!!

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[GREATauntymandy]

mune were always told Santa only came out on Christmas eve and the ones in the shops were helping him, he was far too busy to be around before the big night.
When they firsst asked about him being real, I asked them what they thought. I also asked if they thought mummy and daddy could afford all the gifts and where we kept them.
They have never said they dont believe, but now we just accept they dont. this is the first year they really have been told it is from us and thats only because ex wont help out with money this year..although they have known for a while..eldest probably 5 years he is almost 15!!! We have to keep it up though as have little ones ttoo

[nooka]

Don't start in the first place! Although I have always said Father Christmas was made up (like Cinderella, or Shrek) and my dd just says I am wrong! I never had Father Christmas, and neither do my children - but they still love Christmas

[piffle]

I never let them believe but also asked them not to put other children in the picture if poss...
It worked!

[iota]

I don't know about Santa but ds1 who is 6.5 has sussed the tooth fairy

he lost his 2nd tooth a few days ago and when dh asked him if the tooth fairy had come in the night he said "it's mummy and X's (school friend's) parents."

I think ds1 and X had had a little chat at school that day

don't know what to do about Santa

[Kelly1978]

nooka, piffle, why did you not want them to believe?

[thell]

I can understand you guys not wanting to get into the whole santa thing - I remember figuring out that he wasn't real quite early on, but somehow the non-existence of the tooth fairy hit me hard!! I'm not sure what we'll do - probably play along but not being too convincing! (I'm due with DD1 in March, so we've got some time to think.)

Rodeo - I bet you'll have lots of opportunities to talk it through with DD over the next few months. I guess I'd take my lead from her, rather than trying to convince her one way or the other.

KS - I love the idea of the reindeer hoof print! I might try that this year at my in-laws' house,...

[Wallace]

A couple of weeks ago one of ds'(age 6) friends informed him that santa isn't real. Ds replied that of course he is cos he brings you presents. His friend told him that it was yuor mum and dad that gave you presents. Ds rolled his eyes at his friend's stupidity "Yes, your mum and dad give you the big presents, santa brings the little ones in your stocking!" He didn't quite say "Duh!" but he was thinking it

[tortoiseshell]

We've been straight with ds from the start - last year was really cute because he decided HE would be Santa, and dressed up on Christmas day as Santa, and delivered presents to everyone - even saying 'is there someone here called 'XYZ'? No - well can I leave this present for him?' (He was 3 then). Doesn't seem to traumatise him.

[Lucycat]

what do you mean he isn't real?

[Tinker]

My eldest asked last Jan, so 7 3/4. Tried to fob her off but she knew I was lying. She was quite upset he wasn't real but she did ask! She's half-heartedly trying to believe in him again this year. She's more concerned about lack of presents rather than the initial ie btw. Anyway, anything is true if you believe it to be!

[Rhubarb]

Just let them see this

[Hulababy]

Why not ask the queston back to her if you are not sure on how she actually feels about it . Ask her "well, what do you think, do you think he is real?"

[JoolsToo]

A little bit of make believe never hurt anyone!

[storkgifts]

I've been wondering about this, one of those little testers for parents! Do you spoil the suprise or risk them being teased as one of the last who believed in it.

My eldest DD is 6 and still believes and I'm happy to carry on as it's not just believing in santa it's the writing christmas letters, getting one for santa, leaving rudolph his carrot and the chimney dust on the floor in the morning. Far too precious to give up just yet ;)

Tashxx

[Lucycat]

Rhubarb

then again those reindeer would make fine sausages......

[Nemo1977]

my mum never told us. I had two younger sisters and helped them to put out their presents etc of a night but they always kept a present from santa until I left home. It is something I will do with my kids as even though you 'know' it is lovely to have that little feeling of magic.

[nooka]

Hi Kelly, lots of reasons, I guess: because I don't really like the whole Santa thing; because I don't like fibbing (deliberately and persistently) to them; because I didn't have Santa as a kid so it's not part of my Christmas traditions; because I want them to know that their presents were chosen by the friends and family; and finally because I just couldn't bring myself to do it!

I'm like piffle, I'm not volently anti-Santa, and treat it like other beliefs and stories, so if my dd wishes to think it real, that's fine, but I'm not going to encourage her!

[joanna4]

I tell mine that santa cannot buy all the pressies so mums and dads help him out and then they go away for some xmas magic putting on them.I have a feeling though this will be my last year.

[Kelly1978]

i've never known anyone who didn't like santa before! Are you athiest then? Or jsut don't like fairy tales? Sorry I'm being so nosy, I'm curious.
I felt like christmas changed so much once santa wasn't real. I see it as encouraging imagination and making it more magical. I've never thought of it as fibbing.