Anyone elses 3yo never amuses themselves?

[Jasmum]

My 3yo dd never plays by herself. She constantly has to have someone playing with her and I mean all the time. Play with me, sit with me, watch video with me is all I hear and I can't do anything withut her insisting on 'helping'. Its very wearing and sounds like I'm being mean which I'm not in the slightest. I try to encourage her to do something alone but she just gets up and abandons what she's doing and starts contimuously asking me to do it with her or insists on helping me. I always find time to play with her but surely she hould amuse herslef at least some of the time. She seems constantly bored and with the weather and a 4mo baby its very difficult.
Weekends are wrse when DP is home as she doesn't give him a minutes peace but at least she's not hassling me. Dp doesn't get to do anything even talk to me without dd wanting someone to play with her. DP gives in - he ends up frustrated, she won't do anythign I ask her daddy do it, want daddy, wheres daddy and the weekends are not something I look forward to.
Anyone elses DD like this, is there something we're not doing?

[Enid]

if she is an only child I dont think it is strange at all. She likes company. Probaly more clingly since baby born too?

Can you invite a playmate over - you'll still have to watch them but it might help her learn to play with others.

[Jasmum]

She does like company but surely it's natural for her to play by herself at least sometimes? I don't think she's more clingy since baby's born she's always been liek it but have jsut put it down to her age.
We have lots of playdates but as soon as they've gone it's the same old....and we can't do that every day all day.

[Earlybird]

Jasmum - I know just how you feel, as DD has strong tendencies toward this too. I've found it's better if I warn her in advance when I'm going to be unavailable...."when we get home, you'll need to play by yourself a bit while I fix lunch", etc. That seems to work best as I've told her in advance what's going to happen so she's not pestering me for attention. I also find that if I put on some music for her (children's songs), then she can "get into her own world" much better/easier - she's not as aware of where I am and what I'm doing. Give it a try - might work for you too.

[Jasmum]

Glad I'm not the only one then, I do this regularly and she follows with... me help you! It's really wearing!! Do they grow out of it?

[Elibean]

Don't think its an 'only child' thing, 'cos DD is an only at 22 months and enjoys playing or reading on her own in the mornings and before supper. Not for hours, but for reasonable chunks of time all the same.

I have no experience, but just wondered...at your DD's age, would some sort of reward system for playing on her own work, just to start her off? So she starts to see alone-time as positive? Maybe even with you in the same room, but not engaged with her - IYKWIM - so she can feel Mum's prescence/awareness of her even though she's playing 'alone'.

Just thoughts! Good luck, I know how exhausting those 'be with me, be with me' times are, know I'd find it tough ongoingly.

[fennel]

Jasmum my dd2 was like this. at 2 or 3 she would NEVER play alone. now she's 4 she's better. she's still fairly useless at playing alone. both her sisters (age 5 and 1) are far better at it.

she absolutely drives me round the bend with it. but she is better now in that she will occassionally immerse herself in a game on her own. I try and bribe her to be quiet for a bit and she clearly finds it almost impossible.

i don't think it's anything you're doing particularly, as i said 2 of mine will play alone and one finds it really hard. on the plus side she does great at school and nursery and all social events.

[Jasmum]

Fennel, like your dd mine is fab at social events, will talk to anybody & just loves company particularly adult company. It's so tiring, if she does do something alone I praise her and that seems to snap her out of it and she then starts hassling again so in some ways I'm btter of not saying anything!!
Anyway, she's just eaten a whole box of vitamins while I was in the bath, (knew she was upto no good as she left me alone) and is now sat onthe sofa alone feeling sorry for herself - I phoned the docs and he said she should be fine just drink loads!
Hopefully when ds gets older she'll have a permanent playmate!

[spiderfan]

My dd1 is just the same. She's 3 1/2 and dd2 is 16 months. Dd1 does play on her own for a couple of minutes every now and again but only when she wants to and never on demand. Thought it would get better as they get older but they're at such differnt stages of development - e.g. dd1 will sit and do a jigsaw but dd2 wants to take the jigsaw to bits and eat the pieces - much screaming follows. They won't play independently but there's not much they can do together either and when they do play together this needs almost constant supervision as dd2 is a biter.

[blueshoes]

Jasmum, can't tell you whether your dd will grow out of it because my dd (who is my velcro baby, now toddler) is only 2.

But I don't think it is anything that you or I are doing "wrong" - I clearly see that in dd's personality and it is difficult for other mums who don't have such children to understand how all-consuming our dds' needs for attention are.

eg even if engrossed in her activity, dd will notice within 30 seconds I have left the room to, say, use the toilet and start whining. That is our lot to bear. Your dd is lucky you make the effort to find the time to play with her even whilst busy with 4-month bubba.

But her demands bring me so close to her (and the brink of insanity, as well). That can only be good insurance for when she is a teenager