Do you kids beat each other up?

[charliecat]

Tonight my two girls were really fighting, pulling hair and kicking each other hard
I made them sit on the stools for 10 minutes and say sorry to each other OH and I have confiscated thier fav soft toys.
I would prefer they didnt but not sure really how to stop them. I didnt fight as a kid so am at a loss here really.

[SoupDragon]

Yep. Caught DS1 kicking DS2 in the head at the weekend and DS2 has been caught poking DS1 in the eye. They're 6 and 4 btw.

[bigdonna]

yes my two fight all day long they drive me up the wall they are dd aged 6, ds aged 8.

[lilibet]

Another yes, really vicious fighting, I was an only child so didn't know this would happen

[KBear]

Nope, DD 6 and DS 4 never fight. Really. they get on each other's wick at times but never fight.

[kid]

My kids sort of fight, it would probably be more precise to say DS beats DD up. He punches her quite hard and she just cries or screams. I do wish she would just hit him back sometimes to teach him the hard way that it hurts and he shouldn't do it.

DD is 6 and DS is 3

[gigglinggoblin]

yes, all the time. just as me and my brother did. most of the time i tell them to sort it out between themselves as they seem to be fairly evenly matched for some bizarre reason (even tho ds1 is twice the weight of ds2). i wade in if its serious but cant suggest anything other than naughty chair am afraid. although they have recently started judo - will probably post here if it makes things significantly better or worse

[hunkermunker]

I used to fight with my brother (2.5 years younger). We both used to draw blood. We were also extremely fond of and totally defensive of each other!

No experience of it with my own children (one 17mo and one unborn, so thank goodness!) - but can imagine now that it would be very upsetting - my poor mother!

[QueenEagle]

Yep mine do occasionally. The older 2 ds's aged 9 and 11 are always play fighting - they use the trampoline as a wrestling ring. Unfortunately, the include ds3 who is only 2 who then tries to do the same with ds4 who is only 9 mths, bless him!

dd aged 13 and ds1 (11) sometimes have a proper scrap and hit each other really hard. dd is more than able to hold her own though against him (for now). I don't intervene unless it's seriously but it rarely is.

[expatinscotland]

My sister and I used to pagger like cats - scratching, pulling hair, etc. But we made sure to avoid getting caught by our parents for the most part.

[zaphod]

Yes, but now whoever throws the first punch, or kicks first has to do the chore of the person who was hit. This stops the violence from escalating, because they would far prefer to watch their sibling do their work than hit back.

I do this with the oldest three, who are 11, 9 and 8. My 2 and 3 year old often slap and kick each other, and they have time outs.

[charliecat]

Hmmm zaphod thats sounds good..except i think one of my two would goad the other into swiping then jump for joy at the fact they had just pushed the other into a punishment. At the moment I am treating them both as criminals(!) when they do it...me saying You shouldnt punch her is a bit lame when the other hasnt fought back...sigh

[kath4kids]

oh if only there was an easy answer to this one. eldest two are 13 and 11 and have always faught, they kick each other, punch, scram and it drives me insane.Over the years I've tried ignoring, punishing and goodness knows what else but to little avail really. Yet they will stick up for each other when they need too.

Even the 2 & 1 yr old fight, mind you i think he is getting her back for all the time he was a poor defensless baby, now he is the same weight as her he gives as good as he gets and it is sooooo funny, it wont be in a few years time though when they are really hurting each other

[zaphod]

That does sometimes happen, but not as often as it did when we began it. They still argue and bicker all the time. I never thought I would say it but I am one of those parents delighted when school starts just so there is some peace in my day.

[nooka]

My two play fight and wrestle a lot, but on the whole don't really hurt each other (dd at just 5 is almost as bit and heavy as ds at 6 1/2). We ball them both out when we get fed up with it, and give no sympathy when they do hurt each other, except when it really looks unfair or malicious.

[GillL]

I used to fight with my sister all the time when we were growing up. We once broke a window after pushing each other. We love each other now though!

[Jenum71]

My 2 tend to wind each other up more than fight as such.

DS1 is 6 and DS2 is 3 next month.

[serenity]

Same as Nooka really. They play fight and definitely do not get sympathy if they get hurt doing it. They'll argue and squabble but so far that has never turned physical.

[mrsdarcy]

My boys (5 and 4) either get along very well or are dreadful together. DS2 winds up DS1 and goes in for footballer-type rolling around when DS1 retaliates, when really he's fine. He sometimes does something crazy like whacks DS1 with something hard.

DS1 bosses DS2 around and can be quite violent - he bit DS2 the other day, through a thick jumper, badly enough to leave teeth marks hours later

If they seem to be each giving as good as they get, I leave them to it. But if DS1 is really hurting DS2, but DS2 is winding DS1 up (ie they are both being beastly!), I usually give DS1 a lecture about violence not being the answer, separate them and send them to play in different rooms.

[PeachyClair]

mrsdarcy, snap to the ages and behaviours! (we also have a 2 year old who is treated like a precious object by both boys). The only exception iswhen Sam is in one of his Aspergers moods, ie he has a change of routine, then Sam really goes for both of them and is dangerous, but we tend (or at least try) to see that as a separate circumstance.

[mrsdarcy]

How do you deal with the bad behaviour, Peachyclair? (love the name btw!).

They are usually v nice to their sister (10 weeks) but I lost it with them today when they were both trying to roll her around - that's the other thing they do - egg each other on!

[PeachyClair]

OOh, the egging on- They will tell the other to go do something they know very well not to do themselves, then the silly so-and-so's wonder why they get told off! As if we're that stupid!

We use lots of strategies, on an ad hoc basis as we have to contend with Sam's AS which I refuse to punish him for when he has been unsettled. If not tho (and it is easy to tell the difference), it's separation / confiscation of lego / distraction: a book or songs usually work at the moment. Anything to stop an escalation really.

When it's the AS at fault, it's literally just a matter of keeping the two younger boys safe as Sam loses control and can't remember afterwards what happened. Mainly 'firm cuddling', also i give a glass of water and ask him to drink it very slowly and count the swallows- strangely that works.

[Marina]

Mine have hissy fights with lots of flurries of slaps that aren't really designed to hurt. They love each very much but I am taken aback by the amount of borderline rough-housing that goes on, much of it initiated by a cute but fearless two year old girl. She pinched him hard on the goolies in the bath last night, the poor lad

[sparklymieow]

My 3 are always fighting, we have biting, stratching, kicking, hitting and punching. It drive us up the wall, I keep telling them to stop but they don't listen until one gets really hurt, then 5 minutes later they are fighting again.