Getting annoyed when I tell people my babys name

[Bumbleconfusus]

Had the new arrival for almost a week now, and everyone happily asks what her name is, then seems to recoil. I am presuming they all think its pretentious (and that I must be a silly little girl who gave my little girl a made up name-even though it is a real name, they just haven't heard it before) and I have to explain where the name came from (this is more difficult to do to passers by). Why do people have to be so judgemental?

[bratnav]

It is your choice of name for your child so they should just be happy for you. Do you mind saying what it is though? I am very nosey

[blinks]

is it pumpifer? poopjuice? flangipan? parpita?

[Themasterandmargaritas]

They'll get used to it

So, what is it?

[bratnav]

Clamydia?

[Bumbleconfusus]

Its double barrelled... Teresa-Dehia (Polish pronunciation of Teresa, which is my mothers name, and Dehia pronounced as its spelt, Dae-he-a, which is traditional where my husband is from, its google-able). It had to be double barrelled so that a) we didn't confuse her with my mother (my brothers name is also double barrelled as to distinguish him from my father) and b) because my husbands home country doesn't have middle names, so if you want a middle name the best way is to double barrel it. As I said, its a rather lengthy explanation to force people to listen to...

watches other MNers recoil

[SoupDragon]

What's the Polish pronunciation of Teresa?

[Ziggurat]

But if your country has middle names, and also bearing in mind that middle names aren't, like, illegal - you could have just given her one.

But anyway - so what? It's their problem; not yours. You will have to get used to such reactions, so just treat it like water off a duck's back.

[Clary]

Yeah what tmmj said.

I would say "teresa" when people ask.

[blinks]

tis lushly

[Bumbleconfusus]

Thank you butterfly, that was what we were going for.

Ter-es-a NOT Ter-ees-a OR Teer-ees-a.

She will have dual nationality and is getting registered at the embassy and put in my husbands family booklet - therefor it needs to make sense there too. Plus if she ever wanted to emigrate, she would need her full name written on all documentation as they wouldn't accept it otherwise, and since middle names are left off a lot of documentation in the UK, this seemed more practical.

My bro and his wife are already just calling her 'Wee-T'.

I will not give in

[MrsBadger]

I would consider just saying Teresa
People in the street etc do not know your mother and are unlikely to confuse your dd with her.

[Bucharest]

It's the hyphenated bit they are finding hard to get round.
Either name on its own wouldn't be giving them this reaction.
As Janitor has said, it is going to carry on.
Maybe you could explain to them kind of like "Teresa, with Dehia as a second (not middle) name, because it's from my husband's culture...etc"
Congratulations on her anyway!

[Hulababy]

Is she to be known daily with her full double barell name?

[crumpet]

I have to say that a 6 syllabled name is a bit of a mouthful. She (or her schoolfriends) will probably shorten it at some point for convenience at least.

[megonthemoon]

Your DD's name makes complete sense to me in terms of your cultural background, not wanting to confuse with other family members etc. And I personally really like Teresa - one of the girls names I really like although DH won't let me have it

But, like tmmj, I think it is going to be difficult for your DD to deal with and you need to come up with a solution. As it stands, her name has 6 syllables which is very long. IME people can't cope with more than 3 syllables without wanting to shorten a name. So people called Alexandra and Victoria (both only 4 syllables) have to fight hard not to be shortened; with 6 syllables it is going to be impossible for people not to shorten it. So if you want to control what she is called you need to pick the nickname now and introduce her as that name. Even if you then use her full name at home, at least you have control of her nickname too. So Teresa, or Dehia, or Tess or, whatever you like that might be the nickname you tell other people to use.

You can then introduce her as "Teresa-Dehia but X for short" or something like that. So then people know her full name, but also know what you are happy for her to be called.

[notanumber]

Well it's certainly a mouthful, Bumbleconfusus.

But you knew that when you named her right? I'd have more sympathy if she was called Anne, I have to say.

You can't call your child something that is very unusual and is double barrelled to boot (and to be honest, it doesn't exactly trip off the tongue like Sarah-Jane or Katie-May or other more common double-barrelled names) and then get all arsey when not everyone either has an orgasm over it or greets it with familiarity.

You're not going to "give in", you say....So (without being harsh) you're just going to have to lump it. It's no good moaning about it on here, it won't change people's reactions, you're just going to have to find a way of dealing with it.

[Ziggurat]

notanumber speaks sense...

[Hullygully]

My dd is called Aleeshisa-Immaculata (after my ds and my dh's mother and we have the same ishoo. Front it out.

[Bumbleconfusus]

My name has four syllables and doesn't get shortened... plus if you take my first name and my maiden name (never mind the middle name), its the same length as her names and surname. I might try megs idea of the 'x for short bit'... maybe we will end up following my brother and calling her wee T...

Well, added Dehia to mumsnet baby name finder so I'm going to make it more widely known one way or another...

[MarineIguana]

Rofl at blinks' guesses

I love the name you've chosen bumble - it's gorgeous. I adore unusual names and we gave a very unheard-of one planned for our new baby if it's a girl - but come on, I understand that people are going to go "what? eh? is that a name? how do you spell THAT" etc. It's what most people do when faced with something out of the ordinary - not the end of the world.

Realistically, your DD (and I'm sure you too) will want to use a shorter version day-to-day so she will probably get called teresa a lot (though I would use the dehia part, love it).

[MarineIguana]

I do think it's a shame to be called wee-T when your real name is so beautiful!

[sparkleshine]

I do like the name..its sweet and different and nobody else will have that name.

Also be prepared that she probably will get it shortened when she gets to school and by her friends. Its only natural that it happens. She may get a nickname instead.

If u are going to keep that name then people will just have to like it or lump it and im afraid u are going to have to put up with confused faces and comments.

Will u use it all the time yourselves or shorten it?

[sophiesmummie]

I really like both names and I think it's lovely that they both have a special meaning to you.

I don't understand why some people are so ignorant. Why can't we all be a little more tolerant of slightly different (especially regarding heritage) names?