Parents hate our first choice name

(95 Posts)
polkadotsrock Sun 30-Jun-13 17:39:51

My parents have made it clear that they do not even slightly like our first choice name for our DD- will I care less when she's here, will it grow on them or will it forever be a 'thing' between us?? I honestly don't know why it's bothering me so much, perhaps because we had universal agreement on DS' name?

MadameGazelleIsMyMum Sun 30-Jun-13 18:27:15

Do not allow your choice to be affected OP. we told my parents our proposed name for DD. They made their feelings plain. In a post c-section haze of drugs, knowing my mum was about to arrive, I made DH agree to change it to something they did like. I liked it too, and it suits DD, but I should have gone with what I liked.

With DS, we announced the name after birth. DF said it was ok, DM hasn't commented on the name to me once which means she thinks its awful. In fact, my cousin told me she to my aunt that DS was "lovely despite the name". But do you know what? I genuinely don't give a shit. We love it. We got a whole raft of compliments.

So, morale of the tale - stick with what YOU like!

Elquota Sun 30-Jun-13 18:29:47

It's a lovely name.

There are lots of old-fashioned names being used again these days, so it won't stand out as "old ladyish" at all.

Breezy1985 Sun 30-Jun-13 18:31:22

Ignore smile

My mil did this to us, made me even more determined to use it, and I did. DD is almost 9 and she never mentioned it since, people always say how nice it is and she always agrees with them grin

MissStrawberry Sun 30-Jun-13 18:31:31

I don't understand why anyone would say anything but what a lovely name when told the name of a new baby.

DoItRight Sun 30-Jun-13 18:32:35

So? Your child, your choice. They got to choose when it was you. Ignore.

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sun 30-Jun-13 18:41:09

Never tell!

It's nothing to do with anyone else.

mellicauli Sun 30-Jun-13 18:47:28

I think they have overstepped the boundary here. This child will stretch your body to bursting point, attach itself to you for 6 months or so, deprive you of sleep, drain your bank account and your emotional reserves. The responsibility is yours and although others may offer o help when it suits, ultimately its yours alone. And that's why you are allowed to choose the name! And unless they are going to take n a good portion of this burden, their opinions should never have been expressed in the first place. It's just rude

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 30-Jun-13 19:15:41

Never ever tell RL people a name choice especially grandparents because if you do they go buy a dog and name it the name you wanted to use.

FairyArmadillo Sun 30-Jun-13 19:50:31

I think if you don't use the name you'll regret it. Seem to remember a couple of comments on baby name threads that go along the lines of- "I told people the name. They didn't like it so I named the baby something else. I wish I'd stuck with the name I like." Call her Meredith- it's not everyday you get to name your own child. Parents and in-laws have had their turn at this.

Artichook Sun 30-Jun-13 20:06:52

We recently named DS a name my in laws hate. They have been very vocal about their hatred and it really bothered me in my post natal, hormonal state. TBH it's taken the shine off the name for me and I wish we'd chosen something less controversial (not that DS has a particularly odd name but I knew in laws would hate it and see it as an 'old man' name). If I could rewind six weeks I'd name him something else I think.

DontmindifIdo Sun 30-Jun-13 20:14:24

This is why there should be a leaflet handed out when you have your midwife booking in appointment about the importance about never discussing baby names in advance. At this stage, they think it's not set so they can negatively comment and influence your choice. If you had waited until their new granddaughter had arrived and annouced her name, they probably wouldn't say anything negative because it was too late at that stage to change it.

Anyway, it's a lovely name, remember, their names sound like old people's names to you, your parents are hearing the 'granny chic' names and picturing an old woman of their grandparents' generation. they probably haven't spent much time in the company of toddlers to realise. You've picked a very cool and classic name.

Startail Sun 30-Jun-13 20:18:26

My DD isn't called what I'd have liked because my mum and sister laughed and said it just made them think of an annoying celeb.

I used it as her second name instead, she and I still like it and I wish I'd used it

Her name is pretty, but far too common.

Startail Sun 30-Jun-13 20:19:24

Meradith is lovely

Viviennemary Sun 30-Jun-13 20:24:06

Well it is difficult if they hate the name. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with Meredith. It's a perfectly nice acceptable name. What about offering to let them choose a middle name.

MustafaCake Sun 30-Jun-13 20:24:58

Meredith is a gorgeous name!

I made the mistake of telling my mother the name we'd chosen for DS, she said she hated it and would never call him by that name.

Needless to say we never told her what we planned to call DS2!

Just ignore her, you will always get people who don't like the name you choose. As long as you and your DH like it, go for it!

TeamEdward Sun 30-Jun-13 20:25:44

My parents knew my gran would not like the name they'd chosen for my brother, so came up with a faux name (same initials) to tell her!

MustafaCake Sun 30-Jun-13 20:26:20

What about offering to let them choose a middle name

What about telling them to butt out and let the baby's parents choose?! They've had their go at naming babies already!

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 30-Jun-13 20:28:30

Artichook,

In your shoes I would be wishing I had well mannered less self absorbed relatives.

LesAnimaux Sun 30-Jun-13 20:31:02

It's not old ladyish. I know a 6yo Meredith, but no old ladies. I guess your in-laws associate it with someone they have known.

LesAnimaux Sun 30-Jun-13 20:32:01

And for what it's worth, I didn't used to like it, but it's really grown on me. smile

DontmindifIdo Sun 30-Jun-13 20:34:08

Artichook - don't let them spolit it, do you still like the name? Does your DS suit the name? The old man thing is just that people who really are old don't understand they are fashionable now, your DS's name is unlikely to actually stand out when he's with other DCs a similar age, at DS's nursery, his name stands out more because it's not a particularly "grandad chic" name!

Your PIL will get used to the name, it will suit him. If you picked another name, you know you'd always regret not being brave enough to use your first choice.

MissStrawberry Sun 30-Jun-13 20:34:33

Let them chose the middle name then you are rewarding them for their rudeness.

Onesleeptillwembley Sun 30-Jun-13 20:34:34

Meredith is lovely. More to the point it's a real name, inoffensive, not the name of a mass murderer and not being taken over by the screechy brigade. If you'd said the name was La-a (ladasha) or pixiebell or the ubiquitous ellie-Mae (both lovely in their own right, sadly hijacked) then I may have sympathy for them.
My friends daughter is calling her soon to be born son an odd name, my friend would be mortified to use it. I can completely understand and sympathise.

joanofarchitrave Sun 30-Jun-13 20:34:48

It's just a generational thing. There is a name that appears to be coming back in, which if my daughter-in-law (not yet in existence) told me was to be my grand-daughter's name, I would have to take a moment to control myself because I think it is so incredibly ugly. But of course it's not, it's just a name. Call your baby what you like.

DramaAlpaca Sun 30-Jun-13 20:35:48

I would guess that your in-laws are thinking of it as an old-fashioned name, something from their own generation, which probably puts them off.

But it's a beautiful name, and long overdue a revival.

Anyway, it's entirely your choice & nothing whatsoever to do with them. Go with what you like & they will come round eventually.

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