Keeping baby names a secret!

(36 Posts)
sjclarke86 Thu 21-Mar-13 16:49:54

I don't want to tell anyone any names that we even like. We told brother in law last night that we liked Primrose, he said it sounded like an air freshener!!! Ggrr. Then suggested Mary and Sue!! (Not us at all) and I am such a pushover I just say yeah they're ok. My mother in law is even worse, and I'm even more of a push over with her! I leave her house thinking why did I agree with everything she said and really I think the opposite !!

What did you do ? Did you discuss with people or keep it to yourselves?

MummyPig24 Fri 22-Mar-13 16:30:10

We didn't say a specific name. Just said "well we like x, y and z but we will wait and see" but to one of x,y and z my dad said "why?!" So I am not saying anything at all next time!

birdofthenorth Fri 22-Mar-13 15:54:28

With DD1, told no-one apart from DSS, to help him bond. Aimed to tell no-one except current DC with this DS (due in 2 weeks) but DD1 (aged 2.6) has told everyone who will listen! No-one apart from MIL has objected and it's just tough luck for her unfortunately. We are going to surprise her with two middle names -a male diminutive of her's, and FIL's- which may or may not compensate for her horror at his first name!

IrnBruTheNoo Fri 22-Mar-13 11:51:08

Told no one both times. It is no one's business until the baby has arrived.

IJustWoreMyTrenchcoat Fri 22-Mar-13 11:49:59

I have told people we have already decided (years before I got pregnant actually!) but we are keeping it quiet. I don't think we will, but we could always have a change of heart. I really don't like the endless suggestions and having to be polite about other people's choices to be honest, and if we said we hadn't decided we would be inundated.

Nobody has had a problem with this by the way, most people think it's nice to have a surprise. Well, apart from my partner's mum who is constantly digging...

I have read a lot on these forums to keep quiet and announce when the baby is born. It should (hopefully) be a done deal then and people will keep their negative opinions to themselves.

PurplePidjin Fri 22-Mar-13 02:09:25

We actually decided at about 5 months, but fobbed everyone off with "It depends what suits him when we finally meet him" which seemed to satisfy them.

We stuck with the same name, but i know enough people who met their child and immediately changed their mind! Including one who referred to the bump by a nickname all through and is still, a year on, correcting people to the full name now they've met their child (think Tommy/Thomas although it's not)

PurpleStorm Thu 21-Mar-13 23:59:57

We didn't tell anyone which names were on our shortlist. Seen too many people offer unwanted opinions on baby names!

Although I did have one colleague who had a spreadsheet with shortlisted first name / middle name combinations. He showed this to everyone and asked for opinions.

sjclarke86 Thu 21-Mar-13 23:00:10

Olivertheoctopus that would drive me mad!!! Would have been funny if you had decided to change the name!!

olivertheoctopus Thu 21-Mar-13 22:55:08

We have shared our list as its interesting to hear comments (esp as I don't give a shit what people think) but we've never declared what we've chosen pre-birth. Mainly because MIL then refers to bump by name which is fucking weird. Nephew got a personalised Xmas present 3 months before he was born...confused

IAmLouisWalsh Thu 21-Mar-13 20:11:44

We kept ours totally secret. And no-one dared argue after we announced them!

Smooshy Thu 21-Mar-13 20:07:10

We talked about names generally but didn't tell them what we had chosen. I think we might have slipped then in with the discussions, but I was pretty firmly set on them so nothing would have changed my mind.

With DS5 we said the names we had chosen were Englebert or Ermintrude. After those anything else is great! grin

Frikadellen Thu 21-Mar-13 19:34:17

We told people name that was similar to or that we liked but had discounted that was meant to read...

Frikadellen Thu 21-Mar-13 19:25:47

What we did was we told people names we liked but had discounted so for example with Primrose we would have said " we like Rose"

We liked Niamh but decided it was not on the short list (we went down to 5) so if asked we would say "we have spoken of Niamh" this way people felt we were giving them something to talk about and because I had already discounted the name it didn't feel personal when people didn't like it.

ladymia Thu 21-Mar-13 18:16:25

That's pretty much the first rule of naming a baby, keep it a secret from friends and family until after the birth.

The second rule is, once you have 100% decided what you want ... to not come on MN and ask for opinions on it.

PuffPants Thu 21-Mar-13 18:00:56

How hard is it to say "We haven't decided yet" or "We're not telling"?

Very rude to hassle people to reveal baby names but, equally, pretty easy to say no and move on.

Snowflakepie Thu 21-Mar-13 17:54:40

I'm quite blunt and say we aren't telling. Both mums are teachers and have opinions on any name going. My own mum was talked out of things by my gran and while my name is fine, I don't think it was DMs first choice. They know we are having a boy, just as they knew DD was a girl, and other than a couple of people trying to get us to say, we didn't get any bad feeling from anyone.

cupcake78 Thu 21-Mar-13 17:46:11

I have a few friends who I ask for their opinion. With my family they tend not to ask and respect its our decision.

In laws are persistent so we make up silly names to tell them. I think they gave up when Peraguin Marmaduke or Foxy Creamcheesecake were mentioned grin!

I ask on MN if I want a general opinion.

RuckAndRoll Thu 21-Mar-13 17:39:11

I learnt from DSIL who announced the day she got the BFP the names they were going to use. After 4 months they changed this to 'we're re-thinking after input from lots of people'. Our beautiful DN has the same name they said at the start they just needed both DM to back off!

So far our stock answer is 'yes, we've decided it will have a name' or 'well we have a short list but it's not up for discussion'.

DH is quite sarcastic and when asked 'Is it a boy or a girl' he responds with ' well, yes, hopefully it'll be a boy or a girl, any type of human being would be nice really'.

nooka Thu 21-Mar-13 17:31:46

Easiest to say you've not decided and then just listen to suggestions in a neutral way. It helps if you say you don't know if you are having a boy or a girl too.

sjclarke86 Thu 21-Mar-13 17:29:52

Thanks all. Minds made up we are keeping in quiet. I just wouldn't be so rude as to to say something horrible about a name someone liked, even if I thought it. I would say oh that's nice and leave it there. I'm a wimp on confrontation though.

We really like the name Dennis for a boy and BIL said yeh nice shortened to den, ummm no it's Dennis not den!

Our first scan is tomorrow so jumping the gun anyway, but I think it's going to take us some time to agree smile

DoIgetastickerforthat Thu 21-Mar-13 17:25:28

I love the name Primrose, I also love Buttercup but would never have the guts to use it - don't tell unless you want an opinion. I always said "there's a short list but we'll decide once they're here", which was more or less the truth.

willowstar Thu 21-Mar-13 17:20:59

When I was newly pregnant the first friend I told said do not tell anyone your names before the baby is born....he had and his mil had talke them out of the name they really liked. So I didn't breathe a word until both of mine were born and didn't find out the sex either.

OhChristHasRisenFENTON Thu 21-Mar-13 17:20:36

We kept quiet too because we didn't want anyone to put us off once we'd decided. I'm glad we did because when DS1 arrived and we said the name, SiL immediately said 'oh well you can always shorten to xxx' wtf ? If we'd wanted to call him xxx we would have hmm

With DS2 we decided on his name about 3 hours before he arrived grin

tomatoplantproject Thu 21-Mar-13 17:15:34

We kept it a secret. If people asked we said we're keeping it a secret. If people pushed we said we didn't want anyone's opinion to colour our choice or debate spelling etc. In the future I would be very careful about offering an opinion since its such a personal choice.

DukeSilver Thu 21-Mar-13 17:13:46

I didn't know what sex I was going to have to just told people we were waiting to meet baby before we decided on a name. Which was pretty much true really, I had a very vague idea of the kind of names but I totally kept them to myself.

DD ended up with a totally different name anyway because it just suited her smile

sweetiepie1979 Thu 21-Mar-13 17:08:51

I use to tell people pretend names when they wanted to play the name game. But the names i had actually chosen I wouldn't tell at all. People can have very dramatic reactions to names before the baby exists but then when baby's born its all awh fanny I actually like it, she suits it.( just example obviously)

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