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Using middle name instead of first name - reasons.

35 replies

turnleft · 23/11/2012 16:40

I was just wondering about the reasons why people use middle names for themselves/ DC instead of the first given name. My own gradnmother did just this and it seems to have been very common amongst her generation. To this day, though, my mum has no idea why!

I've come across several threads on here that have mentioned that they use their DC middle name in every day life and was just wondering why this was. Not in a judgey kind of way or anything you understand - just to enlighten oneself! Does it ever cause confusion for others or the person who goes by the middle name or with regards to officialdom?

OP posts:
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Alisvolatpropiis · 23/11/2012 16:53

A boy I was a university with was called William. On the first day the tutor asked if we preferred to be known by anything other than out full names and this boy said "yes,I prefer to be known as David" everyone was Hmm. Turns out it's family tradition for the first boy to have the same name as his father,grandfather etc and to save confusion he went by his middle name.

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YDdraigGoch · 23/11/2012 16:57

It's very common in Wales. Lots of my friends were known by their middle name when I was growing up. Doesn't seem so common in England.

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Alisvolatpropiis · 23/11/2012 17:00

The bloke I knew was Welsh,as am I. Seems less common in South Wales/people my age

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LouMacca · 23/11/2012 17:18

I use my middle name because my given first name is so awful.

My Mum wanted to call me my middle name but was over-ruled by my Dad and 5 year old brother (who was crushed to have a baby sister apparently!!) The said 5 year old brother chose my name - he was 5 and into science fiction FGS!!!!

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squishee · 23/11/2012 17:19

My dear recently-passed Grandma went by her second middle name. No-one really knows why, although it's a lot shorter than her given name. Everyone just got used to it. We're in the south-west BTW.

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marriednotdead · 23/11/2012 17:20

I have always been known by my middle name. My first name is hideously ugly and dated- so far so that it will probably come back anytime now Hmm My grandmother was allegedly going to use it for my mum and thought better of it so God knows what she was thinking. She says she intended for the ugly name to be the middle name but the registrar wrote it down the other way. Just left it but always called me by my middle name.

It's been a pain in the arse at times. Much pisstaking when starting new schools etc. Am forever correcting people at hospital despite 'known as middle name' being written all over my notes. I've thought about changing it but not using it seems easier on the whole.

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GoldPlatedNineDoors · 23/11/2012 17:20

Lou am curious as to your name!

Dd has my two favourite names as her first and middle names so if she ever wants to be known by her MN, thats fine by me.

I was at school with a Craig who we only found out at the end of our time there gad the first name David.

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YoullScreamAboutItOneDay · 23/11/2012 17:23

I have a relative who is known by her middle name, and was always intended to be. If they had put the names the other way round her initials would have spelled something unfortunate, though why her parents didn't just choose a different middle name and use the first name always escapes me.

I also know a David James, always known as James. Apparently his parents didn't like the sound of James David. Which I just found odd.

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ScaredySquirrel · 23/11/2012 17:24

I am known by my middle name - in my case it was because my mother agreed with my father that my first name was a name from his culture that she didn't like. and then she just used my middle name from day 1 I think

My dd1 is known by her middle name too - it's because her first name is a grown up type of name, and her second name is one that's often criticised on here for being too cutesy. dh wouldn't allow me to use it as her first name.

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notallytuts · 23/11/2012 17:31

a relative of mine switched to using her middle name when she started university as she preferred it.

a friend from school went by her middle name, her parents wanted to call her that name for every day but the second name they liked sounded better in front of it than as a middle name.

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specialsubject · 23/11/2012 17:38

as per Alisvolatpropiis - that tradition means you end up with father and son having same name in the same house, causes confusion. My DH has this, nothing wrong with either name but middle one always used. Does cause issues when filling in forms, booking tickets etc if done by someone who doesn't know the details.

I know someone else with four first names who uses the last one. As used to happen with the royal family, the chap briefly known as Edward VIII was always 'David' to family and friends.

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ISeeSmallPeople · 23/11/2012 17:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ginandtonicandamassageplease · 23/11/2012 17:40

My father is known by his third name! It's tradition in our family that every man is named William and he was given a second name which he would be known by when he was born. Then, when he was ten days old his father was killed during the war and so his mother added his father's name (the one he was known by) in between the two my father already had. I think it can be a lovely family tradition.

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RooneyMara · 23/11/2012 17:41

A lot of times, I think it's because the child is named after its father or mother and therefore it's to save confusion.

For example I knew a Matthew, well I thought he was, but I found out later he was actually called Richard after his dad so everyone just called him Matt.

I'm about to have a baby and call it something that my children don't like - so they will be using its middle name instead, which is fine with me, and everyone else can make up their own minds.

I hope this will work out Ok anyway - but birth certificate will be the proper name, as I love it. and it's me wot has to push it out my fanjo

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YoullScreamAboutItOneDay · 23/11/2012 17:43

It is a nice tradition. But does anyone know why the tradition developed of giving it as a first name and being known as the middle? Was it just that it developed and didn't matter much in small communities, then as life got more complex it got annoying?

Giving it as a middle seems rather more straightforward - like many men in DH's family have their father's name as their middle name.

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RooneyMara · 23/11/2012 17:52

I guess it just mattered to people. And people didn't live so long so you might get 'old John' and 'Young John' and then old John would die at what, 26 no sorry, say 45, of the plague or a bad tooth or something and young John would just be John then, till he had his own baby at 12.

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FawkesoidOrganisoid · 23/11/2012 17:56

With ds it was due to pressure! We had a name picked out but dd had been calling my bump another name which is a short version of a name that I didn't like. When ds was born he didn't suit his chosen name at all but did suit what dd had been calling him.
We decided to call him that but we didn't like the full version of it and everyone told us he had to have a 'proper' name as his first name so he has a family name as his official first name

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YoullScreamAboutItOneDay · 23/11/2012 17:58

Yes, I guess when you didn't live as long it was less of an issue. And it sort of backs ups my idea about small communities. Everyone knew all the same people so 'old John' everyone knew which one you meant.

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GingerPCatt · 23/11/2012 18:01

I go by my middle name. I changed to it when I was 14. My first name is very traditional and old sounding when I was a kid in the 80's. It's starting to make a come back though. My middle name is pretty uncommon and I feel it's just more me. Grin

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davies435 · 22/12/2017 19:11

No, it's VERY common in Wales and common in South wales too.
I'm originally from Penllergaer my grand-parents were known by their middle names, dad too. He's david Michael by known as Micheal, I'm Michael Robert but they decided to break this tradition and also call me Michael at home - it was VERY confusing at times when mu called "Miiiiike" and we either both came, or both assumed the call was for the other one. I can't remember the exact reason's for the birth of this practice (although using the parent's name for at least ONE of the child's name seems plausible) I seem to remember it also had a connection with the Baptist church back then.?!?!?

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daisypond · 22/12/2017 19:58

When did having a middle name become popular? I don't have a middle name, nor do my siblings. Neither do either of my parents, nor all four of my grandparents (now dead). Is it regional? I felt very short-changed as a child over my lack of a middle name, and my own DC do have middle names.

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MikeUniformMike · 22/12/2017 20:00

Another one adding that it is VERY common in Wales. Often the first name will be something popular like David or Thomas and the middle name often less common and Welsh.

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froshiechipandbrickie · 22/12/2017 21:22

My mother is known by her middle name. She’s Italian.

She doesn’t know why (she wasn't named after her parents or grandparents) and it has apparently ‘always’ been like that (she didn’t choose to go by her middle name).

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Hepzibar · 22/12/2017 21:30

Paul McCartney, Bruce Willis, Neil Simon, quite a few people are known by their middle name.

I'm in my 50's but it wasn't uncommon at my school. A few friends were known by one name at primary but changed to their first names at secondary. A good reason to give a baby more than one name.

Just to add if I had a middle name I'd use it, my name is bloody awful and definitely of its time.

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MeadowHay · 22/12/2017 22:45

I felt very short-changed as a child over my lack of a middle name
Me too, my name is from my dad's language & culture and in his country it's not common for people to have middle names so neither me nor my siblings got one. I didn't realise middle names were a thing until infant school and I was well jealous of everyone with one, so I made my own up, which was a random English name I liked. I used to go around writing my new 3 initials on paper everywhere when I was doodling as I was determined for it to catch on Grin. My parents thought it was hilarious Grin.

I'm pregnant with my first and I have a different reason that may arise but this will be a highly unusual one I'd imagine - I'm going to give our kids names from my/my dad's cultural background as their first names but I will be giving them all like English/anglicised middle names so that when they grow older if for whatever reason they don't want to be identified with that cultural background anymore or they feel it is causing them difficulties or they will have another name to fall-back on. Plus my kids will be mixed as DH is white British so also reflects their heritage to have one name from each cultural background.

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