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Antenatal tests

Amnio tomorrow after a devastating day ... So scared

48 replies

Stargirl7 · 05/06/2014 20:21

Hi all,

Had our repeat 20 week scan today and baby has a unilateral cleft lip and her femurs are measuring in the 5th centile. I'm going for amnio tomorrow and terrified. I don't even know what to start worrying about first. My quad results were so low risk that it's come as a major shock really.

OP posts:

Report

JiltedJohnsJulie · 05/06/2014 20:37

Stargirl nothing to offer but my hand.

Have you got someone to go with you tomorrow?

Stargirl7 · 05/06/2014 20:44

Thank you . Luckily my wonderful husband, who has also taken it rather hard. We r both very short people, so am hoping they are coincidental markers. I can deal with cleft but so worried it's something more and terrified of amnio risks

OP posts:

JiltedJohnsJulie · 05/06/2014 20:47

Can understand you being so worried. I've had 2 medical terminations, both after 12 week scans so partly know what you are going through.

My DH took it very hard to, particularly the first one as we didn't have any other DC then. He was offered counselling and looking back I think it would have benefitted him.

Hope you find a way of getting some sleep tonight

minipie · 05/06/2014 20:58

hello, so sorry to hear you're going through this. If you are both very short then that would explain the femurs - someone has to be 5th centile after all. Hopefully cleft is just cleft and nothing more.

Best of luck with your amnio tomorrow and with the results of course.

bronya · 05/06/2014 21:07

I hope tomorrow goes well for you, and it's just the cleft lip (which I believe is easily fixable after birth).

Blueuggboots · 05/06/2014 21:38

Just a hand hold here.
I had to have amnio (on my wedding anniversary, and it took 2.5 hours as DS wouldn't move where the consultant needed him too he's still just as stubborn now! )
Hope all is as well as can be.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 06/06/2014 07:37

Hope all goes well from me to. Like minipie says, the femur length could just be because you are both small. Somebody does have to be 5% just like some babies will be on the 95th.

Have a very unMN hug.

TwiggyHeart · 06/06/2014 07:49

Please don't worry about the cleft, the care babies get now is amazing (a world away from my bilateral repair I had 30 years ago). Hope all goes well today, can't begin to imagine what you are going through.

Stargirl7 · 06/06/2014 07:52

Thanks all. The cleft doesn't worry me, Birmingham children's hospital have a fabulous team, but I'm petrified of the risk amnio involves and obviously the outcome. I really appreciate all your support. X

OP posts:

Blueuggboots · 06/06/2014 09:13

After mine, I felt a bit delicate and had some period type pains.
BCH are an amazing team. You're in good hands! Will be thinking about you today.

LittlePeasMummy1 · 06/06/2014 09:28

Good luck, thinking of you

JiltedJohnsJulie · 06/06/2014 17:23

Hope it went well and your DH is looking after you

Tranquilitybaby · 07/06/2014 00:20

Such a worry for you. How did it go? X

ZenNudist · 07/06/2014 00:26

I had amino and the worry about possible risks was as bad as the worry that something was wrong with baby. All went well. Hope it did for you too.

nomorequotes · 07/06/2014 00:30

do update us OP

Stargirl7 · 07/06/2014 10:45

Hi all,

Many thanks again for all your support They said it was a straightforward procedure luckily. Been resting as much as possible, but of course still worried. Petrified of results. With short femurs and cleft of course I am considering the worst and wondering what we will do if that's confirmed. Feels like the darkest time; my husband even broke down crying in the supermarket.

OP posts:

HappySmileyFace · 07/06/2014 10:53

Sorry you are going through this worry. It is such a roller coaster of emotions. (I have been through the worst news in this situation so understand where you are at).

Sometimes in these situations I felt that if I worried enough and prepared myself for the worst perhaps then the worst wouldn't happen. I learnt to try and be more gentle on myself as the outcome was going to be the outcome and no amount of worrying would change that.

Be kind to yourself at this time.

EmilyPinkOrBlue · 07/06/2014 12:41

Hi Star. I had an amnio done on Tuesday and my first set of results came back clear for downs, edwards and turners. i hope you get a good first result too. the waiting is horrible! as is when the phone rings and you know its the results! the midwife can also tell you the sex of the baby if you would like to find that out? i have the horrible wait of 10 working days for the second set of results. i am just praying that the second set come back clear of any abnormalities as well. my consultant thought that our baby had edwards syndrome which is an awful prognosis and we were so close to considering a termination without having the amnio as the consultant and googling were so negative about the 2 abnormalities that was seen at the 12 weeks scan. i am so so glad that i had the amnio and so far everything looks good to continue with the pregnancy. i will be thinking of you and will check back to see how you get on x

JiltedJohnsJulie · 07/06/2014 13:35

Star waiting for the results is truly awful isn't it. What helped with us is that were both agreed on what we would do if it was a bad result. My DSIL was told that her dd almost definitely had downs but decided to have no more tests. She was born without downs

Try to talk to your DH as much as you can. You both need to talk about what you would like to do if the results aren't what you are hoping for. I know it sounds odd but me and DH always find we can discuss things like this better if we go out, even if its only for a quiet coffee.

JiltedJohnsJulie · 07/06/2014 13:37

Forgot to mention, have a look at arc. They provide some very useful information on tests and test results and have a helpline which you or your DH might find helpful

Stargirl7 · 09/06/2014 08:57

So after a calm ish weekend with family, this is the week I guess we will find out. I don't think I've ever been so terrified or felt such conflicting emotions. I can't find any cases with cleft and short femurs and I know I shouldn't google but I've tried to stick to scientific articles not just conjecture! My husband is worse than me and it's hard to know how to support him. Sorry for my outpouring, feels a little cathartic somehow!

OP posts:

Atbeckandcall · 09/06/2014 09:02

I don't know what to say other than we're here to hand hold and to be used as a sounding board for you.

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minipie · 09/06/2014 10:07

Oh, I do so feel for you. Outpour all you want. But, try to distract yourself too if you can. Are you at work? I found work helpful as a (partial) distraction when waiting for my CVS results.

Sometimes in these situations I felt that if I worried enough and prepared myself for the worst perhaps then the worst wouldn't happen. I learnt to try and be more gentle on myself as the outcome was going to be the outcome and no amount of worrying would change that.
HappySmileyFace I agree, I am similar.

ThermoLobster · 09/06/2014 10:12

Hand hold from me. DD1 had very short femurs on the scan but it was never called out as an issue but that didn't stop me worrying. She was fine and in fact now has very long legs. Good luck.

buggerboooo · 09/06/2014 10:19

Thoughts are with you

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