It feels like it's been ages since I was last here and I feel very much like this is all new to me again.
Well I took a test this morning cos I just had this nagging feeling that something was amiss and guess what - it was positive. I'm neither happy or sad I just feel numb.
This is my 4th pregnancy.
- The first was uplanned - terminated at 14 weeks as the baby was found to have Annencephaly (an abnomrality which means the baby is incompatible with life - I hate this phrase for the record). We were devastated.
- Pregnancy Number 2 was planned, so we had taken all precautions to try and avoid this happening again and we went on to have a very healthy and happy baby boy.
- Pregnancy number 3 was unplanned. I hadn't been taking folic acid until about 5 weeks PG and at the 12 week scan we discovered I was actually 14 wks and again that the baby had Annencephaly. We terminated at 15 weeks.
This time Pregnancy number 4 - another unplanned pregnancy! Another shocker. The thing is I haven't been taking my prescribed FOlic acid due to the fact that I had been incredibly constipated (sorry TMI) and this can make it worse so I stopped for a bit. Then I find out I'm up the duff and all I can think about is that I just have this gut feeling that all is not well.
I'm not sure we're ready to go through all of this again. I'm not sure I can do it knowing that I wasn't taking the folic acid and we were careless. We are a loving little family and we would love another child eventually but I'm not sure now is the time. I'm not sure we ready for another child and my DP feels exactly the same.
We have an appointment at 3pm with the GP to talk about our options.I don't really know why I've posted, I mean this should be second nature to me know eh! I feel a bit like I need a strangers / an experts / a mother who's been in a similar places point of view.
I would be grateful of any advice.
Thanks