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Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.

Antenatal/postnatal depression

Undiagnosed PND

4 replies

Marlene47 · 05/07/2014 05:31

Hi,

I'm not quite sure how to put this, but do you think it's possible to have had PND but not had it diagnosed at the time? When I look back at the time following DS's birth, it all looks very bleak. So bleak that it's putting me off having another baby. In fact, the thought of feeling the way I did then is actually very scary to me. The pregnancy was difficult, followed by an emergency section, so maybe that contributed. Pregnancy would likely be difficult again, but manageable. Hopefully the birth would be calmer.

I think I may have known at the time that there was a problem(I've been depressed before, prior to having a child) but didn't admit it to anybody for fear of looking like I wasn't coping.

Any thoughts? Part of me wants a second baby so much, but I'm so scared of how it might affect me.

Thanks.

OP posts:
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Singsongmama · 05/07/2014 05:42

Thanks

Didn't want to read and run....

How long was it until you felt better after DC1? Was it purely birth related or was it the actual looking-after-baby-life-altering months too?

If mostly birth - you could elect cs to reduce anxiety? My friend had nearly fatal, horrific first birth and was terrified when she fell pregnant again. She elected cs and was much happier.

Am watching with interest for advice about second baby. I have one DS and swear he'll be an only child....I miss sleep so so desperately!!

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marshmallow2468 · 05/07/2014 05:55

I don't think it was purely birth-related. I had wanted a natural birth, and felt bad that it didn't happen, but that passed quickly. It was the months following - sleep deprivation, loss of sense of self, I'm sure those contributed to how I was feeling. However, I'm in a much better living situation now. We weren't living in the best place to have a baby, but we've moved to somewhere better, which will help. And at least I know I'm (fairly!) capable of looking after a baby. I'll definitely be wanting an elective section next time - I think pregnancy would be easier if I knew that was happening.

Maybe it wasn't full-blown depression, I suppose I'll never know. I just can't shake the feelings of how bleak things seemed then.

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Clarky365 · 05/07/2014 06:06

I don't know if it's possible but looking back after DC1 I was very down - I had a long and difficult birth with baby in NICU for 24 hours. Once home I was physically struggling but there was a lot of crying, I would need to go home as soon as I went out for no real reason, and I just felt, I don't know, sad....

When I found out I was pregnant with DC2 I couldn't talk about birth without crying a lot. I was referred for counselling by midwife. I had bottled all the trauma up and I think it did affect my first few months with DC1. Talking through the birth and understanding how I wasn't to blame was a big step.
My second birth and first few months have been very different and that really has made me think something wasn't quite right first time.
I would talk to your GP / midwife. Counselling now may help understand what you were going through and help you next time?

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regretmum · 19/07/2014 17:05

GET HELP!!
Don't suffer in silence like I did. I never had another child because of the way I felt after the first whose 25 years old now and hates being an only child.
There was no internet back then and info on PND just wasn't out there.
I kept quiet about the way I felt, and to this day it haunts me.
It has affected my child as well.
Any mum who feels this way must seek help now.
Do not hesitate.

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