Still finding it v hard after 10 months :(

[BotBotticelli]

DS1 is now 10mo and I really don't think I am coping very well. When he was little I was diagnosed with PND and anxiety, and had a course of CBT which helped a lot, especially with the anxiety. I had thought I was doing ok on the depression front as well but in the last couple of weeks it's all getting on top of me again.

DS is a real handful...he always has been 'spirited' but it seems to be getting worse the older he gets and I just can't cope with the constant crying screaming battles every day. By the end of each day I am just desperate for him to go to bed and feel sick and tired of him. He hates having his clothes put on, his nappy changed, being put in the car seat or buggy - screams backbends and cries during all of the above. Gets bored of his toys and smacks/kicks them, wants me to play with him on the floor during every waking moment so the house is a total filthy state, never get anything done. Cant go to the shops without him kicking off and whining in the buggy, always end up leaving playgroups/rhyme time etc after 30 mins cos he seems to get angry/cross/bored/something else after a short time. Mealtimes are a battle as he has suddenly become quite choosy and I never seem to make him what he likes. He also stopped drinking all formula at 9mo and wont have a drop no matter what I do,so he needs to eat lots of food (esp dairy) to get the required calcium. He has vitamin drops on the HV recommendation.

He is a strong willed, firey, grumpy little boy and I am sick to death of not seeming to be able to make him happy.

What am I doing wrong?? Or could he just be like this - is it his personality?

I am really not sure anymore whether I still have depression or whether this is a natural way to feel in these circumstances? All the other mums I see with 10mo's seem to have got their lives back nearly to normal and are serenely looking round the shops etc- I am a frazzled shouty old harridan and don't know why my baby is always so miserable :(

Please can someone help? Please tell me you had a baby like this who grew up to be a friendly, charming, sunny little boy? Am at my wits end.

Am I the only person to ever feel like this?

[ButEmilylovedhim]

Aw you poor thing! Have been there! My ds was very similar. I used to say he started his terrible twos at 9 months! Nightmare with nappy changing, wouldn't lie down, wouldn't go in a buggy/carseat, tantrums, woke up 5+ times a night, into everything. I don't know if I was depressed but I certainly had huge adjustment issues.

He was a pain in the arse (very loved, but still a pain) til he was about three. I put a lot of boundaries in place and was quite strict and he came round and has stayed lovely and very easy ever since and he's 13 now.

I know how you feel and it is so tough! No one else I knew had the same problems. Wish mumsnet had existed then! Are you on anti ds? Can you get a break? Would it be possible to go back to work and hand him over to some lovely professionals? I didn't do that and have stayed at home and battled through but have wondered in hindsight if that was the best thing to do.

[BotBotticelli]

Thank you butemily - it is so reassuring to know someone else has been through this and come input the other side. I know what you mean: no one else seems to have a baby like this!

You say you put boundaries in place and were strict...do you have any tips in how to do this with a 10mo?? Or do I have to wait until he is a bit older?? It just feels v had to respond to his moodiness with anything othe than cuddles (which he rejects and pushes me away) or just ignoring him (which sometimes makes it worse, sometimes works as he distracts himself). You can't even bribe a 10mo with chocolate buttons or Ceebeebies as he has no idea about consequences or cause and effect :-/

Any tips most welcome!