Anyone else stopped meds and then started again because you felt so bad?
My DD was born 3 years ago, and after having been medicated for depression on and off for a decade before then, PND hit me like a truck. I was in a mother and baby unit with DD when she was 6 weeks old for a month after I had a breakdown. Since then I've been on fluoxetine, think it was 60mg a day at first, then 40, and 20 for the past year or so. I'd been feeling more level and much better and after discussing it with my GP I started reducing my dose in late May. Stopped taking the meds at the end of June. A few weeks of dizziness and feeling really woozy and like I had vertigo. But recently I'm crying all the time and thinking that I can't look after DD and that she'd be best off without me. That I'm not a good enough mum for her. As an example, today I was sobbing in front of her as I was just so tired. She was really concerned and trying to look after me but I really think it's not something a 3-y-o needs to see. And I don't want her to feel that it's her job to worry about mummy.
Everything feels very close to the surface, even crappy songs make me start crying. I can't watch any coverage of Daniel, the 4-y-o who died recently after months of abuse, as it makes me want to kill myself. That's not a normal reaction, is it?
My DH says he'll support me whatever I choose to do but I know that he basically wants me to be drug-free and happy. And I'm not sure I can do that, so that's another thing I've failed at.
Sorry if I sounds maudlin. Basically I think I want to go back on medication but feel really weak for wanting to.
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Antenatal/postnatal depression
Am I weak to want to go back on medication?
5 replies
DancingLady · 02/08/2013 20:25
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