It's happening again

(6 Posts)
SuffolkNWhat Wed 10-Jul-13 18:12:25

I had a nervous breakdown and severe antenatal depression with DD1 diagnosed at 14 weeks. I ended up on ADs and being off work for the majority of my pregnancy. I eventually recovered and by the time she was born was feeling much better.

I thought I had escaped it this time, I was doing so so well with another shit pregnancy (bleeds, preeclampsia scares etc) but here I am at 23 weeks with DD2 and the feelings have come flooding back. I am not myself but cannot snap put of it, I don't want to subject another baby to ADs, don't want to let down DD1 by being this way.

This time it's different, I can't spend all day in bed crying like last time, I have DD1 to look after, it's the summer holidays soon and she will be with me 24/7 (she's on term time only childcare)

I just want to be normal sad

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 10-Jul-13 18:58:23

CALL IN THE CAVALRY sorry to shout but please address this sooner than later.

First, have you told DH this is how you are feeling? does he pull his weight, ie .cook a meal/ have a hands-on approach to DD1 with routine?

Secondly, alert your midwife and GP.

Thirdly, any approachable family, in-laws, friends to help out with you and DD1; playdate, housework, shopping.

It is strong not weak to reach out and ask for help when we struggle. Keep posting here Suffolk take care x

SuffolkNWhat Wed 10-Jul-13 19:04:12

DH is amazing, he does the bulk of the cooking anyway so that's a big help.

Planning on seeing the GP ASAP, been putting it off as this will mean me returning to consultant led care and the very real risk of not being allowed on the MLU but it's been over 3 weeks of feeling this way now and it's not getting any better.

FIL is retired and is happy to have DD1 but I am not happy to be constantly palming her off, it makes me feel like an utterly shit mother.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 10-Jul-13 19:23:08

Very glad DH is dependable, I honestly don't think any loved ones will think less of you for saying you are finding things tough. Try not to think of extra help as 'palming DD off' on anyone. It is probably very good for DD1 to spend time with the extended family, after all she may well relish still being close to them when DD2 arrives. I am guessing at her age she may not even know about you expecting again, if she does she won't associate having a lovely time with Grandpa or whoever with mummy prioritising her sibling.

SuffolkNWhat Wed 10-Jul-13 19:34:44

DD1 is nearly 4 and is very aware of the baby etc I had HG at the start of this pregnancy which had her blaming the baby for making me sick, I don't want her blaming the baby for making Mummy sad too.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 10-Jul-13 20:22:14

Oh okay then, well there might be some subterfuge required but try to focus on your needs as being as vital as her contentment. With DH and family supporting you things will seem more straightforward. This isn't about letting anyone down, it is serious and it is bad fortune it is recurring but the last thing you need is any additional guilt trip.

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