23 weeks and feeling very depressed

[TheFalconsmistress]

I have suffered depression on and off all my life I was hospitalised at 20 when i was in the forces for trying to commit suicide.
I have one DC already who is 4 I had pnd after he was born for about a year it was horrific I loved him but all i wanted to do was hide and sleep i was very physically ill at this time too severe anemia after big blood loss.
I was hoping i would be ok this time have been trying for another dc for 4 year and i am overjoyed im pregnant but.... its crept in already I cant even face the housework I want to run away even though it would do no good and i cant stop crying I feel like the worlds most useless person and a bad mum.

I have booked a phone appointment with docs tomorrow I have been on and off fluloxitine for years but this is not the safest to take is it I hope to do some bf too what are good to take will tablets really help also?

[Steffanoid]

I think sertraline is tge preferred, im on citalopram and have been for a long time, now 38 weeks.

it's hard, I've had blips throughout the pg, you're doing an amazing job, growing a baby is hard, especially when you already have a LO, try to get your doc to refer you to a counsellor, I've been seeing mine at least once a month for 2.5 years, she's amazing to talk at, even as a sounding board.

you're doing an amazing job, there are specialist midwives as well who will be able to talk to you.

keep at it and think of the prize at the end

[TheFalconsmistress]

Thanks steffaniod I am on a waiting list for counselling 2 yr wait here but a special mw might help. I am trying to see the positive i really want to get better so i can be the best mum I can to both of them. DH has just started a new job with long long shifts so i think thats what triggered everything he is not around to help or be "involved" with me and its become very difficult.

I hope your birth goes well not long to go and you will have your little one in your arms :)

[Oobis]

Falconmistress, all the best. I'm sure you've heard it all before, but if you suffered from migraines, you wouldn't beat yourself up about being a bad mum - depression is an illness not a character flaw. I hope you start to feel better soon and get to enjoy such an exciting time of your life with little one and bigger one. All the best X

[TheFalconsmistress]

Yeah I need to remember that Oobis I think it does not help my depression is marked with neurotic personality disorder or something like that nobody told me this caught it on my med notes once so i think i have always equated it to something i should be able to fix thats my fault. I just know i need to get better so I can be a happy mum and enjoy my kids. Thanks for all the support don't have much in real life not sure DH gets it xx