NC for this.
DC2 is four months old and I have been feeling off for a couple of weeks now. I just want to enjoy myself and my lovely new baby but I feel so rubbish. I really feel like nobody likes me and I have no friends and nobody cares. I don't know, I guess I'm just lonely and isolated and I feel like everybody is putting me last at the moment. Things which would not normally be a big deal are really hitting me hard.
An example, which is probably really trivial but has had me crying for the past hour:
I recently celebrated a milestone birthday and wanted to have some photos taken to celebrate ME (not baby, lovely as she is, not family - just me lovely me!). A friend of mine is a photographer and I emailed her to make a booking. She told me she would get back to me. That was a month ago and I realised last week that she's never contacted me again.
Because I feel so rubbish I take this as total rejection, like she doesn't think I'm important (NB I am definitely a paying customer and she knows this, I'm not expecting a favour or discount, I have used her services before). Also that she doesn't think my special occasion is any big deal.
Now that I am 4 months post-partum I don't really feel like having my photo taken anyway. My hair has started falling out really badly (same happened with DC1) and due to what is presumably PND I feel ugly and worthless. And it's now nearly two months past my milestone birthday so what would be the point anyway?
I know I'm totally overreacting but I just don't know how to cheer myself up. Every little thing seems so hard right now.
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Antenatal/postnatal depression
I feel so rubbish
2 replies
SadLittleMama · 08/04/2013 14:41
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