Social services

[lisa2104]

I have suffered from anxiety through my whole pregnancy and have been to hospital twice. I was starting to feel better when I had a bombshell. My midwife has referred me to social services because I had a disturbing thought at 6am after not sleeping for three weeks and starting a new job 4 hours drive a day. I had rolled onto my tummy and could feel the baby wriggling around under me but for a split second I didn't want to get up and thought I must want the baby dead but straight after I thought no I don't I love the baby. I didn't understand this thought until i started to feel better and was so freaked about it I told my midwife in floods of tears and really regret it now although it got me the help I needed and now my anxiety is loads better- apart from this. Anyway social services are coming round for a core assessment and I'm terrified they will take my baby. I have to go for a c section in five weeks and I can't handle the worry anymore.

[hzgreen]

Hi Lisa, so sorry you have got this stress at the moment. I'd be very surprised if SS do anything really though, they are so over stretched that they are mainly concentrating on high risk cases so assuming there is nothing else to the story this is probably just a formality. The midwife is probably being extra cautious, have you been offered any other support? Do you have many family and friends around you? Is the dad supportive/present?

[cansu]

And this is why people don't seek help. I am really sorry you are being put through this. Agree that in reality nothing will be done and they will probably just check you have some support and may check on you after the baby is born. I can however totally understand how upset you feel.

[ThreeWheelsGood]

Hi Lisa, what happened in the end, is everything ok? I have a friend who is a social worker and really all they want to do at the stage you mentioned is work out what support you and the baby will need to cope, they won't try and take your baby away.

[Tigglettchic]

Hi, i just found this post, I work for SS and i can tell n u now, you'll have to do a great deal more to have your baby taken!! (sorry)

i am furious at your mw for not talking to you first, what a coward.

I hope u have got support.

Antenatal depression is not a cause for a baby to be removed, I should know, I am one of the 'bad guys!'

[4athomeand1cooking]

Hi, I just wanted to put this in context for you. I know it has been a while since you posted but it might help others.

You rolled over onto your tummy. Immediately you recognised the danger that this could cause your baby. Of course the though ran through your mind but you didn't do anything. There was NEVER any danger. What makes you a mum is that you recognised an imminent threat to your child by picturing the alternative and acted on it.

As parents this is how we protect our children. I remember when one of mine were little, I was washing up and they were screaming the place down. I had a knife in my hand and instantly I thought "I am getting wound up and have a knife in my hand" for a split second I pictured myself hurting my child and instantly I put the knife down and left the washing up.

Of course she was never in any danger but it was good that I recognised that people do these things out of anger and I could never allow myself to hurt my child like that. The only way you can recognise a danger like that is by picturing it in the first place.

I think this is all you did here and I am surprised that the MW took these steps.