I'm ashamed to write this - please don't judge me. I'm 10 weeks pregnant and full of despair. I constantly think of killing myself, although I don't feel like I'm going to do anything about it at the moment. I can't feel happy or excited or even neutral about the pregnancy, I just feel trapped and like my life is over.
My partner and I have some 'real world' problems - money worries, and family illnesses. These things came out of the blue and if I had known about them, I would probably have stopped ttc. But this is a planned pregnancy so I feel very guilty for feeling like this. My partner has a lot of work and family commitments and is not around much (not his fault). I have been to the doctor and they have referred me for an assessment in January.
But I don't know if I can wait that long. I can't work, can't see friends, don't want to talk to anyone or do anything, spend all day panicking and crying, and feel full of despair for the future. I feel guilty for what I am doing to the foetus. I have told one friend but she doesn't understand depression. I don't want to tell others because they either have young kids and will think I'm being self indulgent, or are ttc and will think I'm massively ungrateful.
Does anyone have any practical steps to help? In the past, I have dealt with depression through exercise, eating healthily and the support of my partner. Pregnancy, morning sickness and our bigger situation mean those three options are no longer available to me. The GP obviously isn't going to do anything else. I'm desperate.
Thank you,
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Antenatal/postnatal depression
Practical steps to help antenatal depression?
10 replies
ofmutability · 09/12/2012 10:18
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