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Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.

Antenatal/postnatal depression

Husband wants me to stop b-feeding but I don't want to

4 replies

hodgepodge · 23/11/2012 14:49

I know it sounds ridiculous that I'm even considering doing it just because he wants me to - but apparently I said I would stop after six months. However that was ages ok before I started taking tablets for my pnd and I now feel I would like to continue.
However I am working a lot and away from home quite a bit at the moment and the baby is not yet sleeping through the night so he has a fair bit to put up with. We have 4yo too.
But due to the work and no doubt the pnd I feel the only thing I am any good at in terms of the baby is the bfeeding and really don't want to stop now - even though it means expressing in hotel rooms and work loos around the country!
He has put up with years of me being a complete cow though so I do want to make his life easier if possible.

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CatsRule · 23/11/2012 15:39

I don't see the difference to him giving a bottle of formula or a bottle of breast milk.

That part doesn't really affect him...it's more inconvenient to you to express and if you are happy to do it then there isn't a problem!

I was never successful expressing but I am still bf mornings and evenings and ds will get a bottle of formula during the day at nursery or whoever he is with.

I don't really understand why he wouldn't support you on this. Well done for getting this far while coping with pnd!

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rotavirusrita · 23/11/2012 15:48

maybe hes worried about you?

It really strikes me that you've written "the only thing I am any good at in terms of the baby is bfeeding". Thats the pnd talking I knwo..... because I am SURE thats not the only thing you are good at! Maybe he feels that you're putting yourself under too much pressure. As someone whohas gone back to work 3 times and continued to feed I know how grim it can be sitting in a loo or your car trying to express whilst feeling guilty about working in the first place.

It great that you've got this far. I know some disagree but i think anyone who manages to feed for 6months and then decide that it isnt any fun anymore and stops has done a great job. There are many ways to be a great mum and im sure your baby knows that you are one.

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rotavirusrita · 23/11/2012 15:55

sorry posted too soon. has he said why he wants you to stop?

With DS2 DH told me he wanted me to stop because I was making myself miserable trying to express to keep going, and DS2 was being a sod at bedtime if he couldnt have a proper breastfeed ( sometimes I worked nights or evenings). We stopped when he was 7 months old and for me it was the right choice although I had major guilt at the time for stopping

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hodgepodge · 23/11/2012 16:11

He just sort of flung it out there this morning so no, we haven't had a proper conversation about it. I think it's probably because the nights are slowly killing both of us - as they did the first time round, though this one is considerably better than the first!
I am sure he has my best interests at heart as he is brilliant, I just don't want to stop right now.
We have just started weaning - LO showed no interest in food until quite recently - so I think maybe I'll suggest to him I keep going until the solids are well underway - at which point I dearly hope he'll be sleeping through a bit better than now.
Thanks for your advice x

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