I have a perfect happy nine month old baby and a very supportive husband yet I cry myself to sleep most nights. I used to work full time and everyday I was told how brilliant I am, now I just feel useless. I cant afford to go back full time due to childcare costs but family can provide childcare a couple of days a week - my employers could have had me back part time as a job share but chose not to and don't seem to care if I come back or not. Although I think it's best for a lot of reasons that I'm a stay at home mum, I can't help missing my job - the people, the banter, the variety. Now my days at home with the baby feel very long and my in-laws constantly pick at me, I feel like I loathe them and can't bear to be around them. I do go to mums groups and have good days and bad days there - it takes me time to make friends. I just feel so lonely though and so pathetic when I'm desperate for my mum to come over to keep me company. I live in a village and don't drive and can go whole days without hardly seeing a soul and I always sit eating my lunch alone on my lap and it feels pathetic. I wish I could stop feeling like this but I can't see how it will stop. How do I know if I have PND or if I am just feeling low?
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